Heretics book 3 - The Apocryphile Press

THE KINGDOM :: 193
mean? Maybe you don’t. Well, there was that time in
Springfield when she was absolutely clueless. All of the rest
of us knew what was going on. That was the first gay vote,
I believe, in 1999. You weren’t there, I don’t think, or were
you? I can’t recall. Anyway, Van Patton—”
Tom’s head was spinning already, trying against all odds to
hold on to the original topic of Demitrio’s monologue.
“Wait! Demitrio, wait! Listen to me. I have to take one powerful
shit, and if you don’t get to your point pronto, I’m
going to deposit my offering at your feet. You have thirty
seconds. Go.”
“Oh,” the little man seemed genuinely lost. He looked
towards heaven, and, seemingly seeing written in the air his
original point, began little hopping motions as he spoke in
staccato syllables. “Mellert’s term is up at our next Synod,
and we ought to get him something nice.”
Tom’s eyes darkened. “Isn’t this something that could be
handled by email?”
Demitrio looked at his pigeon-toed feet. “Yes, it could. But
Mother turned off my DSL.”
“Put me down for fifty dollars, whatever you decide get
him,” Tom said, heading to the stairs. “And now I’m going
to take my nap.”
“I thought you were going to take a shit,” Demitrio called
after him. “Uh, Tom...”
“You could use a loudspeaker next time,” Tom called over
his shoulder, ignoring his further entreaty. In mere moments
he had gained the second floor and was headed toward his
room.
He stopped a few feet shy of his door. It was slightly ajar.
Cautiously he advanced, and as he got closer, he could see
that the wood around the lock was splintered. He pushed the
door open, and gasped. His suitcase was thrown into a corner,
and his clothes were scattered across the floor. His