HO HO HO - Amazon Web Services

a conversation with
Santa Claus on Christmastime
“I’ve been doing this almost 1,700
years and I can count all the bad
kids I’ve seen on my two hands.”
--Santa Claus
EDITOR’S NOTE:
Thanks Santa, and
Merry Christmas from
the Sun Staff!
Santa Claus recently took a break from
his busy schedule to sit down and have
some cookies and milk with the Sun staff.
He had dropped by to personally pick up
some of his letters from the Northside Sun.
At his request we publish the letters to save
him time. You see, while he’s reading the
Sun he can also read the letters. While
Santa was here, the staff talked with him
about his hectic journey Christmas Eve.
Gee Santa, it seems like only yesterday we
were here in the conference room drinking
hot chocolate and talking about the same
things. It’s amazing how time flies.
“Well to you and me it seems that way.
We’re old. But to the young ones it seems
forever ago. And today is probably the
longest day of the year for them knowing
that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I’ve got lots
of things to get done.”
Although you seem to have a great job,
it must be hard, especially around this
time of the year.
“Actually my work is easy. I have so many
great helpers in my workshop. The children
tell me exactly what they want and y’all
make it easy for me by publishing their letters.
All that is the easy part and this is the
most fun time of the year for me. The hard
part of the job comes after Christmas. You
think I’m fat and jolly now. Well on
December the 26th I’m fatter and not very
jolly. HoHoHo. I don’t know if you realize it,
but I consume thousands of calories on my
delivery. So many that from January till
about July, I’m on a very strict diet. That’s
the hard part of my job. Thank goodness
there’re not many swimming pools at the
North Pole because I wouldn’t look too good
in my bathing trunks. HoHoHo.”
Tomorrow’s the big night. Are you
ready? Is the list ready?
“Yes, we are ready. Everything is going
pretty smooth. I will be very busy and I will
not get a break until the day after Christmas.
“But we will pull it off, we always do.
“As far as the list is concerned, it is complete
thanks to our teamwork.”
Are you looking forward to all the milk
and cookies the children leave for you?
“Of course. Wouldn’t you? HoHoHo.
People are always tormenting me about my
weight. You know it’s funny, I see all these
pictures of myself in books and on TV and
I look chubby, like I do now. But if you’ll
notice, I’m always on my way to deliver
presents in the pictures. My sleigh is always
fully loaded. You never see me on my way
home. If you did, you wouldn’t recognize
me.
“I bring gifts to almost 400 million children
in more than 90 million homes around
the world. I have about 31 hours to do it,
thanks to the different time zones and the
rotation of the earth, but I still have to work
at a brutal pace. I have to eat those cookies
and drink the milk or I’d waste away to
nothing.”
Many people have come to know you
by your outfit. How did you choose it?
“Well, that’s really kind of an interesting
story. As you know, I’ve been bringing toys
to girls and boys for well over 1,500 years.
And I’ve been coming to the United States
since before it was the United States.
“I used to be a bishop of the church. Ever
since the fourth century, and up until the
19th century, I wore my bishop’s garb. It
wasn’t very comfortable, but I was proud of
my work as a bishop and liked to wear it.
“Then, in 1823, the poet Clement Clark
Moore wrote ‘The Night Before
Christmas,’ and in the 1860s, Harper’s magazine
started publishing paintings of me by
the artist Thomas Nast.
“Moore and Nast did good work. They
got most of it right, but they missed on the
outfit.
“The poem and the paintings were so
popular, though, people just expected me to
be in the furry red suit and this crazy hat, so
that’s what I started wearing.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind. In
fact, this suit is warmer and I’m a lot more
comfortable now. I just think it’s funny. ‘Art
imitates life,’ they say. Ha!”
Santa, you seem a very educated man.
“Well, I guess I learned a lot on the job.
For instance, I grew up speaking a form of
what is now the Turkish language. As I
began giving gifts to children in larger and
larger areas of the world, I had to learn dif-
Page 3A
ferent languages.
“If I got a letter addressed to ‘Father
Christmas,’ ‘Sinter Klaas,’ ‘Pere Noel,’
‘Julenisse,’ or ‘der Weinachtsmann,’ I had
to be able to understand it. So, I learned
many different languages.
“In the same sense, I have become familiar
with many different cultures. I don’t just
blindly give children gifts they request, I
make it a point to test them first. So, I have
not given a book I did not first read, a CD I
did not first listen to, and so on. I’ve
become very well-acquainted with the different
cultures of the world and I stay up-todate
as they shift and evolve. I guess you
could say I have a pretty good vantage
point. HoHoHo.”
So, how do kids in Jackson stack up to
kids in other places? Naughtier or nicer?
And what about kids today as opposed to
other times in history?
“Good question. The level of naughtiness
in youth remains constant no matter what
point in space or time. Kids in place X are
just as nice as kids in place Y. Kids today
are just as good as ever. The statistics show
it.
“And, to tell you the truth, there aren’t
very many bad kids at all. I’ve been doing
this almost 1,700 years and I can count all
the bad kids I’ve seen on my two hands.
Sure, kids are mischievous, but even most
kids people think are bad aren’t truly bad.
They just make mistakes or they’re sometimes
misunderstood.”
What do you have planned when you
get back to the North Pole after your
rounds?
“Mrs. Claus and I have a little routine. It
has been the same for years. When I get
back, she has a big cup of tea waiting for
me. We sit by the fire and as I drink my tea,
I tell her all about my trip. Usually, some
pretty fun things happen on Christmas Eve,
so she loves to hear about it.
“After my tea, I go to bed and sleep for
about 18 hours. Those next few days is our
only vacation during the year. After a few
days off, the elves, the reindeer, Mrs. Claus
and I have a big New Year’s Eve party and
then, on January 2, we start getting ready
for Christmas all over again.”