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Issue 3 - Columbia: A Journal of Literature and Art

Issue 3 - Columbia: A Journal of Literature and Art

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in the street."<br />

"How do you know it's Moira?"<br />

"I'm used to listening for her."<br />

"But what does it matter whether she's there or<br />

not?" He didn't answer; his h<strong>and</strong> was on the door knob.<br />

"Brian, did Moira knit your cardigan?"<br />

"Aye."<br />

"What else does she do for you, Brian?"<br />

He shambled down the stairs, pretending not to<br />

hear me.<br />

"We're away to Belfast the day, Moira. Pack a lunch<br />

for me <strong>and</strong> Kate; bread <strong>and</strong> cheese will do us." Ivor<br />

went out to his workshop <strong>and</strong> Moira also went out,<br />

carrying her string shopping bag. I cleared the kitchen,<br />

thinking bitterly that Moira would have to do all the<br />

chores herself from now on. Notice around here was<br />

short.<br />

When he began on his mats I said to Brian, "I want<br />

to stay."<br />

He shook his head. He bent over the mat <strong>and</strong> he<br />

wouldn't let me see his eyes, clouded though they<br />

were. "We can't have you."<br />

"I can get money from home so you don't have to<br />

keep me. I'll sleep on the cot in the front room."<br />

"Sure, you don't underst<strong>and</strong>."<br />

"Well, explain then."<br />

His fingers moved deftly, pulling <strong>and</strong> knotting. Finally<br />

he said, as though answering quite another question,<br />

"The gunshot blinded me in one eye. The other<br />

followed after, to be like its mate."<br />

In the alley behind the house Ivor was loading the<br />

truck; we'd leave some cabinets in Lisburn on the way<br />

to Belfast. I leaned against the brick wall, watching him<br />

tie the canvas down. I didn't <strong>of</strong>fer to help him, <strong>and</strong> he<br />

wouldn't ask.<br />

38<br />

In a while Brian came out, carrying a parcel.<br />

"Here's your lunch. And Moira says to say goodbye."<br />

"Thank her for me." My voice tight. "Well, you've<br />

certainly made sure I can't climb back in." Cement had<br />

been poured along the top <strong>of</strong> the wall <strong>and</strong> shards <strong>of</strong><br />

glass stuck into it, a primitive <strong>and</strong> evil-looking fortification.<br />

"Don't be daft, Kate. You know that's because <strong>of</strong><br />

the Troubles."<br />

"Are you such a special target?"<br />

Very s<strong>of</strong>tly, so that Ivor on the truck couldn't hear:<br />

"Moira is."<br />

"Well, why do you let her stay on? Surely you can<br />

find some Protestant girl to clean your scullery. I was<br />

doing very nicely, <strong>and</strong> I'm Protestant. More or less."<br />

"Moira nursed my mother for two years. It didn't<br />

matter that my mother came from the big house, nobody<br />

else would do that dirty work. And she took care<br />

<strong>of</strong> me after I couldn't see anymore."<br />

"Maybe they'll hurt you by mistake," I said,<br />

ashamed <strong>of</strong> my anger.<br />

"Maybe," he said, shrugging. "Or maybe they<br />

don't need to bother."<br />

"We're away," Ivor called, starting the engine.<br />

"Goodbye, Brian."<br />

"Safe home," he said, smiling.<br />

When I looked through the back window <strong>of</strong> the<br />

truck, the last part <strong>of</strong> Dunclogher I saw was a field<br />

blooming with prickly whin bushes. Whin or gorse,<br />

doesn't matter what you call it; it's all the same thing.<br />

39

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