Seven Choices: Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World

Isn’t Grief Complicated Enough?
Megan Davis, LISW-S
“My husband died over three years ago…but I still can’t seem
to imagine life without him.” This is one woman’s expression
of how intensely her sorrow continues to affect her life
several years after the death of her spouse. Sometimes when
we experience a death, for various reasons, we are unable to
move through our grief. When a grief experience becomes
so intense, long lasting and severe that it prevents us from
healing, it is called Complicated Grief. Intense emotions
like sadness, anger, guilt and anxiety are common following
the death of a loved one, but when such feelings persist, they
can inhibit our ability to mourn and even prevent us from
accepting that the death has occurred. This makes it very
difficult to go on living and to make meaning out of life.
Anyone can suffer from complicated grief, but common risk
factors include: sudden/unanticipated death, death following
a lengthy illness, death of a young child, feeling that the
death was preventable and experiencing multiple losses.
Relationships that were extremely dependent, angry, or
ambivalent – and particularly when abuse or violence was
present – can leave us with unresolved feelings about the loss,
and lead to complicated grief as well.
C o m f o r t | H o p e | H e a l i n g
Symptoms of complicated grief are similar to normal grief but
last for at least six months. They can include:
• Inability to accept that the death has occurred
• Intense anxiety, anger, guilt or loneliness that persists
over time
• Isolation or withdrawal from others
• Lack of emotion; numbness
• Feeling that life is meaningless or empty
• Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts; upsetting memories of
the deceased
• Severe changes in eating or sleeping habits
• Extreme avoidance of family/friends or activities
associated with the deceased
• Experiencing physical symptoms like those the deceased
experienced prior to or during death
• Phobias/fears of illness or death
• Relentless depression
If you are experiencing any of the symptoms above or are
having difficulty managing your grief, please contact your
hospice bereavement coordinator or a grief counselor in
The Bereavement Center. You do not have to go through
this journey alone! Please call us at (216) 486-6838 to be
connected with someone who can help.
Our eleventh Together We Can bereavement day camp was a great
success. Forty children gathered to spend three days sharing laughter and
tears, honoring loved ones, and learning ways to express feelings and cope with
their grief. Most importantly, they had a great time and met others who have also experienced a loss.
We would like to thank the many paid and unpaid staff who committed their time and talents to
make this a great event, as well as the numerous individuals who contributed funds to purchase
supplies and provide camper scholarships. Many thanks also go to Kaiser Permanente, Stuart and
Associates, David Tavens of MitzvahPhoto, Buckeye Mountain Coffee and Water Company, Miklus
Florists, and our teddy bear ladies, Mary Graham, Margaret Stokes and Gayle Kovach. Your support
for our camp is priceless!!
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