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habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living. ADHERENT, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get. Administration, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting. Admiral, n. That part of a war-ship which does the talking while the figure-head does the thinking. ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves. ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meataxe. Friendly warning. Consigned by way of admonition, His soul forever to perdition. Judibras ADORE, v.t. To venerate expectantly. ADVICE, n. The smallest current coin. “The man was in such deep distress,” Said Tom, “that I could do no less
Than give him good advice.” Said Jim: “If less could have been done for him I know you well enough, my son, To know that’s what you would have done.” Jebel Jocordy AFFIANCED, pp. Fitted with an ankle-ring for the ball-and-chain. Affliction, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world. African, n. A nigger that votes our way. Age, n. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we have no longer the enterprise to commit. AGITATOR, n. A statesman who shakes the fruit trees of his neighbors —to dislodge the worms. AIM, n. The task we set our wishes to. “Cheer up! Have you no aim in life?” She tenderly inquired. “An aim? Well, no, I haven’t, wife; The fact is—I have fired.”
Page 1 and 2: The Devil’s Dictionary Ambrose Bi
Page 3 and 4: This text was converted to LaTeX by
Page 5 and 6: 11 J 179 12 K 183 13 L 189 14 M 211
Page 7 and 8: Chapter 1 AUTHOR’S PREFACE The De
Page 9 and 10: Chapter 2 A ABASEMENT, n. A decent
Page 11 and 12: peace, the prospect of death and th
Page 13 and 14: In the meadow of commentary. Mighty
Page 15 and 16: But heed the warning words the sage
Page 17: Joram Tate ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm a
Page 21 and 22: ALLIANCE, n. In international polit
Page 23 and 24: Yields to some pathologic strain, A
Page 25 and 26: clean shirts—guilty of education
Page 27 and 28: ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascrib
Page 29 and 30: Chapter 3 B BAAL, n. An old deity f
Page 31 and 32: The lictors dare to run us in, And
Page 33 and 34: Forgetting that his lungs he’s so
Page 35 and 36: And tuck out the belly that clung t
Page 37 and 38: But to our modern married fair, Who
Page 39 and 40: Bettel K. Jhones BONDSMAN, n. A foo
Page 41 and 42: BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which w
Page 43 and 44: announced that several members of t
Page 45 and 46: And Death replied, Smiling long and
Page 47 and 48: G.J. CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to
Page 49 and 50: shows that pagan myths have somewha
Page 51 and 52: CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, po
Page 53 and 54: O Coenobite, O coenobite, Monastica
Page 55 and 56: Avenging the friend whom I couldn
Page 57 and 58: And taunt him to refute them; in hi
Page 59 and 60: perils already passed, so the wisdo
Page 61 and 62: Now where’s the need of speech an
Page 63 and 64: Chapter 5 D DAMN, v. A word formerl
Page 65 and 66: spite of them. The reason we find o
Page 67 and 68: For life insurance lower rates. Kil
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for evil, by the way, for if they h
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Please have the proper entries made
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So the Recording Angel, when Hearst
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than another. DISCUSSION, n. A meth
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ut does not appear to have obtained
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with the Pilgrims in the Mayflower
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A lady with one of her ears applied
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Silly old quilly old Monarch of Tho
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him was recently on exhibition, bea
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as a bunch of radishes, is doomed t
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EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying i
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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that trea
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At thy command eschewing pleasure
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constables. Generally speaking, tho
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EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible
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ourgeois disappeared about the same
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That’s how court-plaster got its
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While rivers from their courses rol
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And the facts contradict him to his
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fancy of individuals reproduces the
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omnipercipient, omniscient, omnipot
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The immunity of these persons from
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To bind the chains about her feet A
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ing the bones of the slain frogs. O
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To bear to happy hunting-grounds th
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eaves of mediaeval buildings, commo
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made up of red worms and moles. The
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“heavy with eating” he would ha
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Ere, losing my temper, I wickedly s
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I’ll help to kill the scoffer. Th
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The monarch of the wood and plain!
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several years ago, a rogue imperfec
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men engaged in the work insisted by
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HANDKERCHIEF, n. A small square of
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Whose premises adjoin it, claims Pe
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But lest the people censure me Beca
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HEATHEN, n. A benighted creature wh
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Marley Wottel HEMP, n. A plant from
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the fowl is esteemed; the cage of h
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When even his dog deserts him, and
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Who began to lift his noddle. Feed
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HYPOCRITE, n. One who, profession v
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Fair Venus, speared by Diomed, Rest
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of fact
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IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever
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many ecclesiastical systems, but pe
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IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. INADMISSIBLE,
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His open palm, which plainly itched
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INCOME, n. The natural and rational
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INCUMBENT, n. A person of the livel
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priest of Aulis, was favored with a
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“’Twas Predestination,” cried
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He cannot bless you, for AI grieve
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ington monument. Following are exam
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actuary, it will probably be destro
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luckier ventures with other clients
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cause is the imminence, immediate o
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everybody else, which implies the r
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Chapter 11 J J is a consonant in En
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I love my fool—blaspheming clown,
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Chapter 12 K K is a consonant that
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KINDNESS, n. A brief preface to ten
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He layde his hand on mine and sayd:
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Chapter 13 L LABOR, n. One of the p
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epose of infancy, but chiefly usefu
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’Tis plain your have no standing
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LEONINE, adj. Unlike a menagerie li
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must grow by innovation if it grow
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when lost it is not missed. The que
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Then, checking himself, to his face
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human misunderstanding. The basic o
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glass be repaired and taken back to
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Each morning and varnished it all t
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Here Huntington’s ashes long have
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Chapter 14 M MACE, n. A staff of of
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And amiable and sunny. A brightness
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Which mortal sight has failed To pi
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diameters nothing would be any larg
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ulation, but found that it could no
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MANES, n. The immortal parts of dea
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Who slew the Egyptian. As sweet as
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MENDACIOUS, adj. Addicted to rhetor
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“Captains of industry” refused
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MONARCH, n. A person engaged in rei
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downe eyther way and act as it shal
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We plunder his tomb, be he sinner o
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political problem. Representing him
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For our ears if so be He blow that
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Chapter 16 O OATH, n. In law, a sol
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not happen to be a competent reader
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Upon Minerva’s temple walls, Wher
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“it is true these dogs of darknes
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light by the outmates of every asyl
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To poets all Nature is pregnant wit
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Chapter 17 P PAIN, n. An uncomforta
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gratifying to his pride of distinct
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O, what’s the loud uproar assaili
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Why, back there in Dreamland, renew
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So, in his own defence, denied our
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PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for
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absolute authority on condition tha
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Is portable improperly, I take it.
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of the precedent elevates the trial
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PRELATE, n. A church officer having
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Whom no elector e’er denied a vot
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credible witnesses as opposed to th
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Chapter 18 Q QUEEN, n. A woman by w
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Intent on making his quotation true
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worth. He held at court a rank so h
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short stories in “dialect” and
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RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of
Page 291 and 292:
The Sultan said: “There’s evide
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cies of the Magic Temple; the Grand
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And then Ithuriel touched me With a
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what marred by the sad sincerity of
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“O cruel cook, pray grant me some
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To set with monarchses of thought,
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The qualities that you have first r
Page 305 and 306:
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show
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and to this end compulsion is a pro
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Borey the Bald ROBBER, n. A candid
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their hair all alike, but the fires
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Chapter 20 S SABBATH, n. A weekly f
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it Noah, etc. All things are either
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Which I wasn’t first intentioned
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SALACITY, n. A certain literary qua
Page 321 and 322:
In the dead language of a mummy’s
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supposed to symbolize immortality,
Page 325 and 326:
which the sovereign admonished his
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caitiff belong?” asked the Mikado
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scrap-books containing whatever the
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lic scrutiny. Either view of the ma
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of the narrative on a ship and sunk
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Was given to the cheerful flame. Wh
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The wheels go round without a sound
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possible to be a sorcerer without k
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school board, the Howells ghost add
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While the Admiral was digesting thi
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turning to his apartment one evenin
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which is somewhat limited. The woma
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What’s Satan done that him you sh
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Chapter 21 T T, the twentieth lette
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TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretio
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Against his competition; so There w
Page 357 and 358:
considered a serviceable equipment
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“modesty.” The nature of that s
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Chapter 22 TO MY PET TORTOISE My fr
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Howe’er acceptably he carries tha
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TRIAL, n. A formal inquiry designed
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TRINITY, n. In the multiplex theism
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Chapter 23 U UBIQUITY, n. The gift
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to the Ulema of the Imperial Ear th
Page 373 and 374:
The man’s mill had exploded. His
Page 375 and 376:
They say that hens do cackle loudes
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Chapter 25 W W (double U) has, of a
Page 379 and 380:
WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of
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With a record of unreason seldom pa
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As the fountain, the gug-guggle, Li
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WHITE, adj. and n. Black. WIDOW, n.
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WORMS’-MEAT, n. The finished prod
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Chapter 26 X X in our alphabet bein
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And unfamiliar foreslope to the Wes
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Chapter 28 Z ZANY, n. A popular cha
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in bed or a cabbage in the pot is n
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Chapter 29 End of Project Gutenberg
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PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIB
Page 401 and 402:
terms of this agreement, you must c
Page 403 and 404:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with
Page 405 and 406:
Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.
Page 407 and 408:
and discontinue all use of and all
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SEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL
Page 411 and 412:
Chapter 31 Section 2. Information a
Page 413 and 414:
Page 415 and 416:
Page 417:
online payments and credit card don
show all

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