The Devil's Dictionary - iTeX translation reports

CANONICALS, n. The motley worm by Jesters of the
Court of Heaven.
CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which
provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the table and the
knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast
that himself supplies is the disgrace before meat. Capital
Punishment, a penalty regarding the justice and
expediency of which many worthy persons—including
all the assassins—entertain grave misgivings.
CARMELITE, n. A mendicant friar of the order of
Mount Carmel.
As Death was a-rising out one day,
Across Mount Camel he took his way,
Where he met a mendicant monk,
Some three or four quarters drunk,
With a holy leer and a pious grin,
Ragged and fat and as saucy as sin,
Who held out his hands and cried:
“Give, give in Charity’s name, I pray.
Give in the name of the Church. O give,
Give that her holy sons may live!”