The Devil's Dictionary - iTeX translation reports

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where
mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stonecutters
spell for a wager. The inscriptions following
will serve to illustrate the success attained in these
Olympian games:
His virtues were so conspicuous that his enemies, unable
to
overlook them, denied them, and his friends, to whose
loose lives
they were a rebuke, represented them as vices. They
are here
commemorated by his family, who shared them.
In the earth we here prepare a
Place to lay our little Clara.
Thomas M. and Mary Frazer
P.S.—Gabriel will raise her.
CENTAUR, n. One of a race of persons who lived
before the division of labor had been carried to such a
pitch of differentiation, and who followed the primitive
economic maxim, “Every man his own horse.” The best
of the lot was Chiron, who to the wisdom and virtues
of the horse added the fleetness of man. The scripture
story of the head of John the Baptist on a charger