here - Health Promotion Agency
here - Health Promotion Agency
here - Health Promotion Agency
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When pregnancy goes wrong<br />
SAYING GOODBYE TO<br />
YOUR BABY<br />
A funeral or some other way<br />
of saying goodbye may be a<br />
very important part of<br />
coming to terms with your<br />
loss, however early it<br />
happens. If your baby<br />
dies after 24 weeks of<br />
pregnancy, the hospital must<br />
provide a death certificate<br />
and arrange a burial or<br />
cremation. If you would like<br />
to arrange it yourself or<br />
organise a service, you can<br />
do that. Just speak to the<br />
ward staff and they will tell<br />
you what the arrangements<br />
are in your hospital.<br />
real for you and your family and<br />
help you to grieve. If you don’t wish<br />
to see your baby, it’s still a good<br />
idea to ask hospital staff to take a<br />
photograph for you. You may find<br />
this comforting at a later date. It can<br />
be kept in your notes in case you<br />
wish to see it.<br />
You may find your feelings quite<br />
hard to cope with after a<br />
termination, whether it has been in<br />
early or late pregnancy. It will help<br />
to talk about them. If you would like<br />
to talk to people who have<br />
undergone a similar experience you<br />
can contact ARC (Antenatal Results<br />
and Choices) (see page 149).<br />
L OSING A<br />
BABY<br />
In the UK about 4,000 babies every<br />
year are stillborn – the baby is<br />
already dead when it is born. About<br />
the same number die soon after<br />
birth. Often the causes of these<br />
deaths are not known.<br />
If you lose a baby like this, you are<br />
likely to feel very shocked. But you<br />
and your partner may find it<br />
comforting to see and hold your<br />
baby and give your baby a name.<br />
You may also like to have a<br />
photograph of your baby and to<br />
keep some mementos, such as a lock<br />
of hair or the shawl the baby was<br />
wrapped in. All this can help you<br />
and your family to remember your<br />
baby as a real person and can, in<br />
time, help in coming to terms with<br />
your loss. Many hospitals have<br />
a bereavement counsellor (or<br />
voluntary support from someone<br />
whose baby has also died) who will<br />
help you to find the best way for<br />
you and your partner to cope with<br />
your loss.<br />
One of the first questions you are<br />
likely to ask is why your baby died.<br />
The doctors and midwives may not<br />
know. A post-mortem examination<br />
is usually advised, and this may help<br />
to find out, although it doesn’t<br />
always provide the answer. Most<br />
hospitals will offer you an<br />
appointment with the consultant<br />
who can explain to you what is<br />
known. If you are not offered an<br />
appointment, you can ask for one.<br />
It may also help to talk about your<br />
feelings with other parents who have<br />
lost a baby in a similar way. SANDS<br />
(the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death<br />
Society) is an organisation that can<br />
put you in touch with other parents<br />
who can offer friendly help<br />
(see page 149).<br />
You may well want to arrange a<br />
cremation, funeral or service. You<br />
should be able to do so. If the baby<br />
was lost after 24 weeks, the loss will<br />
need to be officially registered as<br />
either a death or a stillbirth. If you<br />
want to arrange a funeral or<br />
cremation and your baby was lost<br />
before 24 weeks, you will need a<br />
certificate from the hospital. Talk to<br />
your midwife or doctor about what<br />
you want to do and to find out what<br />
arrangements are available locally.<br />
You could also consult the hospital<br />
chaplain or rabbi or your own<br />
religious adviser.<br />
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