here - Health Promotion Agency

Feelings and relationships
C OPING ALONE
If you’re pregnant and on your own,
it’s even more important that there are
people with whom you can share your
feelings and who can offer you
support. Sorting out problems, whether
personal or medical, is often difficult
when you are by yourself, and it’s
better to find someone to talk to
rather than to let things get you down.
You may find it encouraging to
meet other mothers who have also
gone through pregnancy on their own.
Gingerbread (see page 148) is a selfhelp
organisation for one-parent
families which has a network of local
groups and can offer you information
and advice. They will be able to put
you in touch with other mothers in
a similar situation if you wish.
If money is an immediate
concern, read Rights and benefits
(pages 132–6) for information on
what you can claim and your
employment rights. Your local
Jobcentre Plus/Social Security Office
(Jobs & Benefits office) or Citizens
Advice Bureau (CAB) will be able to
give you more advice. If you have
housing problems, contact your local
CAB or the Northern Ireland
Housing Executive.
The National Council for One
Parent Families can also supply
information on a range of topics
from benefits to maintenance (see
page 148). There may be a
local support group in your area.
Ask your midwife or health visitor.
Don’t feel that, just because you
don’t have a partner, you have to go
to antenatal visits and cope with labour
on your own. You have as much right
as anyone else to be accompanied by
the person you choose – a friend, sister,
or perhaps your mother. Involve your
‘labour partner’ in birth classes if you
can and let him or her know what you
want from them. There may be antenatal
classes in your area run especially for
single women. Ask your midwife.
Think about how you will manage
after the birth. Will there be people
around to help and support? If there
is no one who can give you support,
it might help to discuss your situation
with a social worker. Your doctor or
hospital can refer you or you can
contact the social services department
of your local council, or in
Northern Ireland your local Health
and Social Services Trust, directly.
If you’re considering adoption or
fostering, you should discuss this
with a social worker.
‘The baby’s dad has
gone. He wanted the
baby at first but when
things started to happen
he didn’t like it, so he’s
gone. But my mum has
been to all my antenatal
classes with me and
everything, so she knows
what’s going on.’
‘Sometimes I feel
really low and think,
“Oh God, I’m only
18 and it’s for the rest of
my life.” Every time I go
out I’ve got to get a baby
sitter and things.’
‘I talked to the hospital
social worker about things
and she told me all about
managing on my own.’
LONE PARENT
HELPLINE
call free on 0800 018 5026
(9am–5pm Mon–Fri)
45