meeting on i\. French or B ritish w:lrs hip off the THE TPOST. 103 Forewarned. entra nce to the Stmits, d e ide it is e. pedlent to do so, H ad enuff P aslm has resigned, owing , rr is often said that the looker-o n se's mos t of it is said , to a n a llercatio n a uont a Bill a t the game. It miglIt be add 'cl that Chipshoppej wiLlI Von d er Zwa nk, generall y he becomes t hcr hy posses,; cl of Cl <strong>The</strong>re is only c ne other point i\.nd that i ~ that ct e ~ ir e to join in t he fllll , tho llgh t ile opportunit · I a m ini:Jrllll'd bl' i\. Mlii La,TI' Attach ' , jnst may ue denied him. rdurnecl from Ki lia rnev, tha l 'the entrance of Such is my positio n in t hese days of W \ 'hen Tsi Quill much
104 THE OUTPOST. wrappers she collectit, an' mark ye, he was a sea-farin' man tae." " 'Weel, ae nicht when the faimly was a' at tea, the pictur' fell aft the wa' an' broke in smithereens on the floor. She's never clappit eyes on her man from that day to this. If a broken pictur' means a' that, what can a broken ring no' mean? " " Wi' that Mrs. Shairp got kin 0' excitet like, an' she's been fair dithert a' day. .Noo, a warnin' is a warnin' is what I say an' I'll bide by It. If ever Mrs. Shairp sees,"- As Mrs .. Emm drew a deep breath preparatory to resummg, the door of my room creaked uneasily. <strong>The</strong>n it began to open slowly, inch by inch, till the space between it and the doorpost might have been a foot wide. Through this modest opening came the head of Mrs. Emm's youngest. "'Maw, Shairp's came back safe. He got tae the Broomielaw twa days syne, but he went on the spree an' took the wrang caur,-the la..o;;t ane tae Paisley, an' he's only fund h:8 way back the day." <strong>The</strong> head withdrew. So did ?vfrs. Emm. From the kitchen came sounds of scolding and angry remarks regarding manners and the -respect due to parents. For the remainder of that evening Mrs. Emm left me severely alone. Y. l'HE picquet waits-the soldier's bane . To pmch us when our crafty brain Invents such ruses as would make Us buy a ticket, and then take A journey in an ontward train. When we're in Ayr, and down comes rain Without a pass, risks must be ta'en, ' Train it-·and for the sinner's sake <strong>The</strong> picquet waits. He nips us time and time again; Our little dodges are in vain' <strong>The</strong> blooming sergeant's wid~ awake, His sense of duty takes the cake; Perhaps in hell, to cause more pain, <strong>The</strong> picquet waits. ESQUIRE. Humour (?) and Special Training. WHEN your Company commences Special Training, the first remark that makes you smile is when the Major says, " <strong>The</strong>re will be no parade at 7 a.m. during the week for the Company." Some say this is the only time you do get a smile, but I thmk they ought to see a doctor. <strong>The</strong>re really IS a little dry (and sometimes wet) humour about it. 'When the" lion tamer" makes the" lions" sit up, if you don't actually smIle you can at least " let the facial muscles relax," as the M.O. said to the recruit 'who was being inoculated. Whether the commissioned ranks really see any humour in telling you that, "It wasn't really necessary, as the enemy's fire was masked," after vou have doubled three or four hundred yards, -I don't really know, still when one of the gentlemen steps up to the ankle in lovely rich Dundonald mud and says, "Desh it ! " you " laugh and the platoon laughs with you" (with apologies to Ella). From the landlady's point of view, however, I doubt if there is really any humour in it, unless it be when we say, "Sandwiches to-morrow, mamma," and she imagines our faces when we try guessing what this" horrible looking mixture" is. <strong>The</strong> only point of view that we have to consider now 1S that of the N.C.O., but has this person any sense of humour? When one N .C.O. asked a humble, if rotund private, what a " fine sight" was, a..nd he replied, " A double helping of meat on the one plate," why did the XC.O. angnly tell him that he had better resign or apply for a commission? Who was the man from E Company enthusiastic enough to take the packets of weights along with his equipment when he was re-transferred to hIS old Company? vVhat were his remarks after the first mile or so anent the "iron ring"? Also, is it true that the scouts have now learned what a first class metalled road is, and is there any truth in the yarn that a certain orderly room has sent a sarcastic letter to headquarters about laying a false trail for the cross-country runners? This makes one wonder whether the runners really were cross. Weighing things up (with the aid of our scrap-iron) we have come to the conclusion that there really is a funny side to everything (even Special Training) if you look at it in the right way. F. A. t t t For the sake of those who do not know their geography, Frees is somewhere in England.
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THE OUTPOST. ~lIIl11ll1l1l1lllllH /
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THE OUTPOST. 3 The Sergeant-Major.
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THE OUTPOST. 5 IN the first issue o
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THE OUTPOST. 7 IT was suggested tha
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THE OUTPOST,
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THE OUTPOST. 11 A Roundabout Journe
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THE L ieut.-Colon el D . S. M RTON.
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THE OUTPOST. 15 came along to find
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THE OUTPOST. 17 Although this is ou
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THE OUTPOST. 19 insignificant. Then
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THE OUTPOST. 21 A COMPANY. SRORTLY
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THE OUTPOST. 23 It was a wounded so
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THE OUTPOST. ~IIIH 1111111111111111
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,THE OUTPOST, 27 f Plwto . h A Rout
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THE OUTPOST. 29 TTALI~.N [JOTES ~ I
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THE OllTPOST. 31 1 paid my check at
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THE OUTPOST, 33 THEBES in Egypt. is
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THE OUTPOST. 37 Witb ldens\ve WITH
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1- THE OUTPOST. 3!) A")it1B~"lfK
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THE OUTPOST. 41 Modern Artillery. F
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THE OUTPOST. 43 Major W. J. P A U L
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THE OUTPOST. 45 SIR Lancelot was a
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THE OUTPOST. 47
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THE OUTPOST. 49 It must be a fine s
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THE OUTPOST. 51 ' A charge could be
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THE OUTPOST. ~ 1111 111111111111111
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THE OUTPOST. 155 P.T.GOD OF ISCOYD.
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THE OUTPOST. 157 established by the
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THE OUTPOST. 1;:;9 PI•. N O" ,.,l
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THE TPOST. l 11.1(' say Lhat Ca t;t
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THE OUTPOST, 163 Drawn by "WE'LL FI
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THE OUTPOST. \Vhile the Queen was b
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THE OUTPOST. 167 ! Of course tha
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THE OUTPOST. 171 IT'S a litter of b
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THE OUTPOST. 175 In continuance of
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THE 0 TPOST. 177 Impression of the
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THE UTP ST, 179 J ust Talk. T h !iC
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THE OUTPOST. 183 ITI'\ ·TF\f. 'l)t