9502320 Comp English I Ja06 - JMap

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH 

The University of the State of New York 

SESSION ONE 

REGENTS HIGH SCHOOL EXAMINATION 

COMPREHENSIVE EXAMINATION 

IN 

ENGLISH 

SESSION ONE 

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 — 1:15 to 4:15 p.m., only 

The last page of this booklet is the answer sheet for the multiple-choice 

questions. Fold the last page along the perforations and, slowly and carefully, tear 

off the answer sheet. Then fill in the heading of your answer sheet. Now circle 

“Session One” and fill in the heading of each page of your essay booklet. 

This session of the examination has two parts. Part A tests listening skills; you 

are to answer all six multiple-choice questions and write a response, as directed. 

For Part B, you are to answer all ten multiple-choice questions and write a 

response, as directed. 

When you have completed this session of the examination, you must sign the 

statement printed at the end of the answer sheet, indicating that you had no 

unlawful knowledge of the questions or answers prior to the session and that you 

have neither given nor received assistance in answering any of the questions 

during the session. Your answer sheet cannot be accepted if you fail to sign this 

declaration. 

The use of any communications device is strictly prohibited when taking this 

examination. If you use any communications device, no matter how briefly, your 

examination will be invalidated and no score will be calculated for you. 

DO NOT OPEN THIS EXAMINATION BOOKLET UNTIL THE SIGNAL IS GIVEN. 

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH SESSION ONE

Part A 

Overview: For this part of the test, you will listen to a speech about medical doctors, answer some multiplechoice 

questions, and write a response based on the situation described below. You will hear the speech twice. 

You may take notes on the next page anytime you wish during the readings. 

The Situation: Your health class has been studying the roles of health-care 

workers. For a class project, you have decided to write a report in which you 

discuss the obligations of doctors toward their patients. In preparation for 

writing your report, listen to a speech by Dr. Margaret C. Heagarty to a new 

class of medical students. Then use relevant information from the speech to 

write your report. 

Your Task: Write a report for your health class in which you use relevant information from 

the speech to discuss the obligations of doctors toward their patients. 

Guidelines: 

Be sure to 

• Tell your audience what they need to know about the obligations of doctors toward 

their patients 

• Use specific, accurate, and relevant information from the speech to support your 

discussion 

• Use a tone and level of language appropriate for a report for a health class 

• Organize your ideas in a logical and coherent manner 

• Indicate any words taken directly from the speech by using quotation marks or 

referring to the speaker 

• Follow the conventions of standard written English 

Comp. Eng. — Session One – Jan. ’06 [2]

NOTES 

DO NOT TURN THIS PAGE UNTIL YOU ARE TOLD TO DO SO. 

Comp. Eng. — Session One – Jan. ’06 [3] [OVER]

Multiple-Choice Questions 

Directions (1–6): Use your notes to answer the following questions about the passage read to you. Select the best 

suggested answer and write its number in the space provided on the answer sheet. The questions may help you think 

about ideas and information you might use in your writing. You may return to these questions anytime you wish. 

1 The speaker’s description of her father as not 

having “vitamins, steroids, hormones, or antibiotics 

in his doctor’s bag” is used to emphasize the 

(1) changes that have occurred in medical 

practice since 1928 

(2) need for country doctors in the 21st century 

(3) lack of adequate training for country doctors 

both then and now 

(4) importance of communication between her 

father and his patients 

2 The speaker considers the practice of medicine 

to be a “vocation” because it 

(1) assures steady employment 

(2) serves the needs of others 

(3) provides high income and prestige 

(4) requires special skills 

3 According to the speaker, “an awareness of one’s 

limitations” is required in order for a physician to 

know 

(1) how to set reasonable fees 

(2) where to establish an office 

(3) when to seek assistance 

(4) why to become a doctor 

4 According to the speaker, in addition to skills in 

diagnosing diseases and prescribing therapies, a 

physician also needs skill in 

(1) teaching techniques to colleagues 

(2) researching causes of diseases 

(3) reducing the number of injuries 

(4) providing comfort to patients 

5 When the speaker refers to occasions when “the 

managed-care plan places bureaucratic obstacles 

in your path,” she is suggesting that 

(1) students may find it difficult to complete 

medical school 

(2) insurance companies may be unwilling to pay 

for some treatments 

(3) patients might not follow the advice of their 

doctors 

(4) contagious diseases may put doctors at risk 

6 What technique does the speaker use to develop 

her ideas about the obligations of doctors? 

(1) She pictures herself as a patient of the 

listeners. 

(2) She analyzes common misperceptions about 

doctors. 

(3) She provides anecdotes about some of her 

patients. 

(4) She reminds the listeners of their childhood 

illnesses. 

After you have finished these questions, turn to page 2. Review The 

Situation and read Your Task and the Guidelines. Use scrap paper to 

plan your response. Then write your response in Part A, beginning on 

page 1 of your essay booklet. After you finish your response for Part A, go 

to page 5 of your examination booklet and complete Part B. 


Part B 

Directions: Read the text and study the table on the following pages, answer the multiple-choice questions, 

and write a response based on the situation described below. You may use the margins to take notes as you read 

and scrap paper to plan your response. 

The Situation: Your environmental science class is studying efforts to save 

endangered species. The class is creating a guide to effective methods used 

to save endangered species. You have chosen to contribute a chapter on the 

Florida manatee explaining why the Florida manatee is endangered and 

discussing effective methods used to save the Florida manatee. 

Your Task: Using relevant information from both documents, write a chapter for a guide 

for your environmental science class in which you explain why the Florida manatee is 

endangered and discuss effective methods used to save the Florida manatee. 

Guidelines: 

Be sure to 

• Tell your audience what they need to know about why the Florida manatee is 

endangered 

• Discuss effective methods used to save the Florida manatee 

• Use specific, accurate, and relevant information from the text and the table to 

support your opinion 

• Use a tone and level of language appropriate for a guide for your environmental 

science class 


• Indicate any words taken directly from the text by using quotation marks or 

referring to the author 



5 

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40 

45 

50 

Text 

A dark lump broke the surface of the water, and air rushed out of it with a 

whoosh. Right away we knew what it was. We stopped paddling, and our canoe 

slid forward silently. Soon we could see a manatee, a big one, hovering serenely 

below. He was as wide as the canoe, and about half as long. “He looks a little like 

the Goodyear blimp,” I said. “Or maybe the Hindenburg,” my friend Robin 

answered. “Look at those scars.” 

The manatee’s back bore a series of diagonal slashes, souvenirs from a chance 

encounter with a boat propeller. Algae had grown over the scar tissue; apparently 

these were old wounds, long healed. As our canoe drifted quietly, a powerful twin 

outboard plowed slowly up the waterway with a throaty roar, passing within 50 

feet of us. The boater smiled and waved. Then he throttled up, confident the 

channel was clear. To our surprise, the manatee never budged. Was he deaf? 

Probably not. According to studies conducted by the David A. Straz Manatee 

Hospital at the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa, FL, although manatees have an 

extremely delicate sense of hearing, they can’t hear the frequency of outboard 

motors very well—which may explain why boats kill and maim so many every 

year. It’s estimated that 90 percent of Florida’s manatees bear scars from boat 

strikes; nearly 300 are killed each year. And while boat collisions remain the 

leading cause of death in manatee populations, manatees are also killed or injured 

when they become entangled in or ingest fishing and crab trap lines, are caught 

in flood gates and canal locks, or lose habitat to development and pollution. Cold 

weather also kills many manatees, who are susceptible to pneumonia. According 

to the Department of Environmental Protection, 175 manatees died between 

January and June 2001—about one every day. 

Although manatees have been listed as endangered by the U.S. Fish and 

Wildlife Service since 1972, their numbers have continued to decline. Today 

there are fewer than 2,000 manatees remaining in the United States. 

Unfortunately, the blame lies largely with us; with the possible exception of 

sharks, manatees have no predators. In fact, humans are responsible for about 30 

percent of all manatee deaths. 

Florida manatees, also known as West Indian manatees, are slow-moving, 

near-surface swimmers. They live primarily in shallow coastal waters, feeding on 

the abundance of sea grasses and floating seaweed. The water above the sea grass 

beds tends to be uniformly dark, which camouflages the manatees and makes 

them practically invisible to approaching boaters. 

When sick or injured manatees are found in Southwest Florida waters, 

they’re taken to the David A. Straz Manatee Hospital. Open since 1991, it’s one 

of only three critical care facilities in the state. (The other federally permitted 

rehabilitation centers are located in aquarium/theme parks—Miami’s 

Seaquarium and Orlando’s Sea World.) Since its inception, the Straz hospital has 

cared for more than 75 manatees and released more than 30 back into the wild. 

But rehabilitating these animals is an expensive proposition—the hospital spends 

almost $30,000 per year per manatee on food alone. 

Cupid came to the hospital horribly emaciated on Valentine’s Day 2001. 

Although almost fully grown, she weighed only 435 pounds, about one third the 

weight of a healthy adult female. Too weak to move, she was quarantined inside 

a narrow concrete trough filled with fresh water, supported by a canvas sling that 

prevented her from drowning. According to Jennifer Hackshaw, the hospital’s 

general curator, Cupid’s condition was beyond critical. Her eyes were sunken, 

and her skin was necrotic, covered with lesions and abrasions…. 


55 

60 

65 

70 

75 

80 

85 

90 

95 

Beth Wright, an associate research scientist for the Florida Marine Research 

Institutes’ Endangered and Threatened Species Department, tracks about 25 of 

these manatees by satellite from her office in St. Petersburg (each manatee has 

been fitted with a tag containing a satellite transmitter, a radio transmitter and a 

sonic beacon). The telemetric data Wright compiles will help federal agencies 

determine where manatees are likely to be found at different times of the year. 

This information will be particularly vital to the 13 coastal counties currently 

designated as “Manatee Protection Areas.” These counties have been required to 

file a three-part plan with the state, identifying boating speed zones, outlining 

educational programs and mapping out areas where new docks may be built. The 

locations of docks are a critical issue; it’s important that they not be permitted in 

areas that the slow-moving mammals are known to frequent. But keeping docks 

and manatees apart isn’t always easy. As one marine biologist at the Florida 

Marine Research Institute says, “Sometimes ideal manatee habitat and ideal boat 

habitat are one and the same.” 

In the early 1990s, former Florida Governor Bob Martinez ordered 13 coastal 

counties to create manatee protection plans, which would detail where docks, 

marinas and boat ramps should go, and mandate slow-speed zones, boater 

education and more enforcement. But a decade later, only four counties— 

Collier, Dade, Duvall and Citrus—have plans in place, and there are only 400 

marine patrol officers to enforce the entire state’s manatee laws. 

Because many scientists believe that dredging and dock construction projects 

approved by the Army Corps of Engineers and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service 

are depriving manatees of irreplaceable habitat, a lawsuit was brought against 

both agencies in January 2000 by a coalition of environmental groups, including 

the Save The Manatee Club, the Humane Society of the United States, the Sierra 

Club, Florida Defenders of the Environment and the International Wildlife 

Coalition. On April 19, a settlement was reached that calls for the review of eight 

areas, including Brevard County (the deadliest county for manatees), for the 

adoption of slow speed zones. Additionally, 14 areas are to be reviewed for the 

development of manatee refuges and sanctuaries. For more information, visit the 

Save The Manatee Club’s website…. 

Not long ago, I had the opportunity to swim with and photograph Hurricane 

and Buffet, two young manatees at the Lowry Park Zoo. The two were recovering 

nicely from boat strike injuries and were soon to be released. 

I squeezed into my wetsuit and joined one of the zookeepers at the main pool. 

She pointed toward a pair of shadows gliding across the bottom. “Let them come 

to you,” she said. We entered the water. There was a ledge nearby, about five feet 

down. I swam to it. When I looked up, Hurricane, the larger of the two, was three 

feet away and closing fast. 

The manatee nuzzled my dive mask. It was like looking into the business end 

of a big vacuum cleaner. Delighted, I gently pushed him back. He squinted at me. 

His eyes were like grey M&M’s. Then he sidled in, presenting his belly for a rub. 

His skin was leathery and smooth. The zookeeper gave him a vitamin-laced 

biscuit and a brief pat. Then he rejoined his comrade, the two of them spiraling 

the length of the pool in a surprising graceful underwater pas de deux. 1 

A few months later, fully recovered, Hurricane and Buffet were returned to 

the wild. 

— James Phillips 

excerpted from “Saving Florida’s Sea Cows” 

ASPCA Animal Watch, Winter 2001 

________________________ 

1 pas de deux— in ballet, a dance for two performers 




Directions (7–16): Select the best suggested answer to each question and write its number in the space 

provided on the answer sheet. The questions may help you think about ideas and information you might want 

to use in your writing. You may return to these questions anytime you wish. 

7 Which statement best describes the relationship 

between the manatee and the boater mentioned 

in lines 11 and 12? 

(1) They were unaware of each other. 

(2) They avoided each other. 

(3) They feared each other. 

(4) They trusted each other. 

12 The author implies that manatee protection plans 

ordered by former Governor Bob Martinez have 

not been effective because those plans 

(1) exist in only a few counties 

(2) do not mandate boater education 

(3) have not been adequately funded 

(4) are only for coastal counties 

8 The article suggests that manatees are susceptible 

to injury by boats because manatees 

(1) are poor swimmers 

(2) follow fishing boats 

(3) cannot hear motors 

(4) are too large to avoid 

13 Which group is responsible for successfully using 

legal means to protect manatee habitats in Florida? 

(1) veterinarians’ associations 

(2) tourist bureaus 

(3) construction companies 

(4) environmental organizations 

9 One factor that contributes to the accidental death 

and injury of manatees is that they 

(1) dart in front of swimmers 

(2) blend in with their surroundings 

(3) resemble animals that people hunt 

(4) eat fish that have been rejected by fishermen 

14 The effect of the anecdote about Hurricane and 

Buffet is to 

(1) leave the reader with a positive image 

(2) conclude the article with a somber warning 

(3) provide students with practical advice 

(4) challenge authorities to improve conditions 

10 The author includes the information about Cupid 

for what purpose? 

(1) to suggest a method for reducing expenses 

(2) to illustrate a technique for recruiting workers 

(3) to propose a theory about manatee populations 

(4) to provide an example of manatee rehabilitation 

11 The article implies that the information gained by 

Beth Wright from tracking manatees will be used 

to help determine 

(1) how to design boats 

(2) where to locate docks 

(3) when to release manatees 

(4) where to build rehabilitation centers 

15 According to the table, during what year were 

deaths due to watercraft collisions the highest? 

(1) 1984 (3) 1999 

(2) 1990 (4) 2001 

16 According to the table, the number of dependent 

calves that died in 1990 was 

(1) 41 (3) 47 

(2) 44 (4) 67 

After you have finished these questions, turn to page 5. Review The Situation 

and read Your Task and the Guidelines. Use scrap paper to plan your response. 

Then write your response to Part B, beginning on page 7 of your essay booklet. 



Session One – Essay A 

Essay B 

________ 

________ 


COMPREHENSIVE EXAMINATION IN ENGLISH 

Session Two – Essay A 

Essay B 

________ 

________ 

Tear Here 

SESSION ONE 

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 — 1:15 to 4:15 p.m., only 

Total Essay Score 

Session One – 

A–Multiple Choice 

B–Multiple Choice 

________ 

________ 

Session Two – 

A–Multiple Choice 

________ 

ANSWER SHEET 

Total Multiple Choice 

Final Score 

Student . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sex: ■ Male ■ Female 

School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Grade . . . . . . . . . . . . Teacher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Write your answers to the multiple-choice questions for Part A and Part B on this answer sheet. 

Part A 

Part B 

1 _______ 7 _______ 

2 _______ 8 _______ 

3 _______ 9 _______ 

4 _______ 10 _______ 

5 _______ 11 _______ 

6 _______ 12 _______ 

13 _______ 

14 _______ 

15 _______ 

16 _______ 

HAND IN THIS ANSWER SHEET WITH YOUR ESSAY BOOKLET, 

SCRAP PAPER, AND EXAMINATION BOOKLET. 

Your essay responses for Part A and Part B should be written in the essay booklet. 

Tear Here 

I do hereby affirm, at the close of this examination, that I had no unlawful knowledge of the questions or answers prior to the examination and 

that I have neither given nor received assistance in answering any of the questions during the examination. 

____________________________________________________________ 

Signature 


COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH SESSION ONE 

Tear Here 

Tear Here 

Comp. Eng. — Session One – Jan. ’06 [12] 

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH SESSION ONE

E 

SESSION ONE 

FOR TEACHERS ONLY 



ENGLISH 

Tuesday, January 24, 2006— 1:15 to 4:15 p.m., only 

SCORING KEY AND RATING GUIDE 

Mechanics of Rating 

Updated information regarding the rating of this examination may be posted on the 

New York State Education Department’s web site during the rating period. Visit the site 

http://www.emsc.nysed.gov/osa/ and select the link “Latest Information” for any recently 

posted information regarding this examination. This site should be checked before the rating 

process for this examination begins and at least one more time before the final scores 

for the examination are recorded. 

The following procedures are to be used for rating papers in the Comprehensive 

Examination in English. More detailed directions for the organization of the rating 

process and procedures for rating the examination are included in the Information 

Booklet for Administering and Scoring the Comprehensive Examination in English. 

Scoring of Multiple-Choice Questions 

Indicate by means of a checkmark each incorrect or omitted answer to multiplechoice 

questions on the Session One answer sheet; do not place a checkmark beside 

a correct answer. Use only red ink or red pencil. In the box provided under each 

part, record the number of questions the student answered correctly for that part. 

Transfer the number of correct answers for the Part A and Part B multiple-choice 

questions to the appropriate spaces in the box in the upper right corner of each student’s 

SESSION ONE answer sheet. 

Session One 

Correct Answers 

Part A Part B 

(1) 1 (7) 1 

(2) 2 (8) 3 

(3) 3 (9) 2 

(4) 4 (10) 4 

(5) 2 (11) 2 

(6) 1 (12) 1 

(13) 4 

(14) 1 

(15) 3 

(16) 2 

The University of the State of New York • THE STATE EDUCATION DEPARTMENT • Albany, New York 12234

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH — SESSION ONE — continued 

Rating of Essays 

(1) Follow your school’s procedures for training for rating. This process should include: 

Introduction to the task— 

• Raters read the task and summarize its purpose, audience, and format 

• Raters read passage(s) and plan own response to task 

• Raters share response plans and summarize expectations for student responses 

Introduction to the rubric and anchor papers— 

• Trainer reviews rubric with reference to the task 

• Trainer reviews procedures for assigning scores 

• Trainer leads review of each anchor paper and commentary 

(Note: Anchor papers are ordered from high to low within each score level.) 

Practice scoring individually— 

• Raters score a set of five papers individually 

• Trainer records scores and leads discussion until raters feel confident enough to move 

on to actual scoring 

(2) When actual rating begins, each rater should record his or her individual rating for a 

student’s essay on the rating sheet provided, not directly on the student’s essay or 

answer sheet. Do not correct the student’s work by making insertions or changes of any 

kind. 

(3) Each essay must be rated by at least two raters; a third rater will be necessary to resolve 

scores that differ by more than one point. The scoring coordinator will be responsible 

for coordinating the movement of papers, calculating a final score for each student’s 

essay, and recording that information on the student’s answer paper for Session One. 

[2]

QUALITY 

6 

Responses at this 

level: 

SESSION ONE – PART A – SCORING RUBRIC 

LISTENING AND WRITING FOR INFORMATION AND UNDERSTANDING 

5 


level: 

4 


level: 

3 


level: 

2 


level: 

Meaning: the extent to 

which the response 

exhibits sound 

understanding, 

interpretation, and 

analysis of the task 

and text(s) 

-reveal an in-depth 

analysis of the text 

-make insightful 

connections between 

information and ideas in 

the text and the assigned 

task 

-convey a thorough 

understanding of the text 

-make clear and explicit 




task 

- convey a basic 


-make implicit 




task 

-convey a basic 


-make few or superficial 




task 

-convey a confused or 

inaccurate understanding 

of the text 

-allude to the text but 

make unclear or 

unwarranted 

connections to the 

assigned task 

Development: the 

extent to which ideas 

are elaborated using 

specific and relevant 

evidence from the 

text(s) 

-develop ideas clearly 

and fully, making 

effective use of a wide 

range of relevant and 

specific details from the 

text 


and consistently, using 

relevant and specific 

details from the text 

-develop some ideas 

more fully than others, 

using specific and 

relevant details from the 

text 

-develop ideas briefly, 

using some details from 

the text 

-are incomplete or 

largely undeveloped, 

hinting at ideas, but 

references to the text are 

vague, irrelevant, 

repetitive, or unjustified 

Organization: the 

extent to which the 

response exhibits 

direction, shape, and 

coherence 

-maintain a clear and 

appropriate focus 

-exhibit a logical and 

coherent structure 

through skillful use of 

appropriate devices and 

transitions 



-exhibit a logical 

sequence of ideas 

through use of 


transitions 




sequence of ideas but 

may lack internal 

consistency 

-establish, but fail to 

maintain, an appropriate 

focus 

- exhibit a rudimentary 

structure but may 

include some 

inconsistencies or 

irrelevancies 

-lack an appropriate 

focus but suggest some 

organization, or suggest 

a focus but lack 

organization 

Language Use: the 


response reveals an 

awareness of audience 

and purpose through 

effective use of words, 

sentence structure, 

and sentence variety 

-are stylistically 

sophisticated, using 

language that is precise 

and engaging, with a 

notable sense of voice 

and awareness of 

audience and purpose 

-vary structure and 

length of sentences to 

enhance meaning 

-use language that is 

fluent and original, with 

evident awareness of 




control rhythm and 

pacing 

-use appropriate 

language, with some 


and purpose 

-occasionally make 

effective use of sentence 

structure or length 

-rely on basic 

vocabulary, with little 


or purpose 

-exhibit some attempt to 

vary sentence structure 

or length for effect, but 

with uneven success 


imprecise or unsuitable 

for the audience or 

purpose 

-reveal little awareness 

of how to use sentences 

to achieve an effect 

Conventions: the 



conventional spelling, 

punctuation, 

paragraphing, 

capitalization, 

grammar, and usage 

-demonstrate control of 

the conventions with 

essentially no errors, 

even with sophisticated 

language 


the conventions, 

exhibiting occasional 

errors only when using 

sophisticated language 

-demonstrate partial 

control, exhibiting 

occasional errors that do 

not hinder 

comprehension 

-demonstrate emerging 


occasional errors that 

hinder comprehension 

-demonstrate a lack of 


frequent errors that make 

comprehension difficult 

• If the student writes only a personal response and makes no reference to the text(s), the response can be scored no higher than a 1. 

• Responses totally unrelated to the topic, illegible, incoherent, or blank should be given a 0. 

• A response totally copied from the text(s) with no original student writing should be scored a 0. 

1 


level: 

-provide minimal or no 

evidence of textual 

understanding 

-make no connections 

between information in 


task 

-are minimal, with no 

evidence of development 

-show no focus or 

organization 

-are minimal 


incoherent or 

inappropriate 

-are minimal, making 

assessment of 

conventions unreliable 

- may be illegible or not 

recognizable as English 

[3]

Part Anchor A — Paper Practice – Part Paper A—Level – A 6 – A 

[4]

Anchor Paper – Part A—Level 6 – A 

[5]

Anchor Level 6 – A 

Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Reveals an in-depth analysis of the text by discussing how the role of doctors has changed over 

time and how that relates to the obligations that doctors owe their patients. The response makes 

insightful connections between information and ideas in the text and the assigned task 

(scientific research will push doctors … to provide their patients with the best care and The 

doctor’s understanding of medical advances must be explained to patients in a comforting and 

supportive manner). 

Develops ideas clearly and fully, making effective use of a wide range of relevant and specific 

details from the text. The response discusses changes in medicine since 1928 (today’s 

sophisticated drugs) and the obligations of doctors to stay current in their field (learn about 

new treatments, understand their own limitations, consult with other physicians) while 

providing important personal care to their patients. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the role of doctors. The response exhibits a logical 

and coherent structure, moving from a discussion of changes in health care to the need for 

doctors to provide their patients with the best care, and concluding with a doctor’s obligations 

to provide control of patient’s care. Appropriate devices and transitions (how her father, also a 

doctor, practiced medicine and Because scientific and biomedical knowledge has expanded) are 

skillfully used. 

Is stylistically sophisticated, using language that is precise and engaging (the average American 

citizen did not frequent the doctor’s office and more knowledgeable in certain specialized 

fields), with a notable sense of voice and awareness of audience and purpose. The response 

varies the structure and length of sentences to enhance meaning (As she said, “I do not … by a 

committee” and Whether these concerns … her overall health). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions with essentially no errors, even with sophisticated 

language. 

Conclusion: Overall, the response best fits the criteria for Level 6 in all qualities. 

[6]

Anchor Paper – Part A—Level 6 – B 

[7]


[8]

Anchor Level 6 – B 

Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Reveals an in-depth analysis of the text by emphasizing the unique responsibilities and 

awesome burden doctors have, as well as the altruistic motives which have led them to this 

great profession. The response makes insightful connections between information and ideas in 

the text and the assigned task (doctors must immerse themselves in the scientific advancements, 

It is always honorable to ask for help, The final facet … is the personal connection between a 

patient and doctor). 


details from the text to discuss each obligation mentioned (they opt for a vocation … an, 

“idealistic need or calling to serve; Dr. Heagarty advises doctors to have a comprehensive 

awareness of their limitations; a doctor vows to act in the patient’s best interest, regardless of 

the cost). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the idea that doctors must always keep in mind their 

responsibilities to both the physical and mental/emotional well-being of their patients. The 

response exhibits a logical and coherent structure, building from the general to the specific (The 

science of medicine … Doctors owe it to their patients to ensure they are up to date). 

Appropriate devices and transitions (In spite of the aforementioned burden and To fulfill this 

final requirement) are skillfully used. 

Is stylistically sophisticated, using language that is precise and engaging, with a notable sense 

of voice (present state of sophistication and intensifies to a panic level) and awareness of 

audience and purpose. The response varies the structure and length of sentences to enhance 

meaning (Patients do not wish … they wish and “Comfort, support, and care,” asserts Dr. 

Heagarty, are the basics of proper bedside manner). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors in agreement (When one 

decides … they opt, A doctor … their pride, he/she … their continuing responsibility). 

Conclusion: Overall, the response best fits the criteria for Level 6, although it is somewhat weaker 

in conventions. 

[9]


[10]


[11]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a thorough understanding of the text, explaining why the obligations of doctors over 

the years have remained centered on caring for their patients. The response makes clear and 

explicit connections between information and ideas in the text and the assigned task (Not only 

must they make a diagnosis … but they must provide comfort, support and care). 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, using relevant and specific details from the text. The 

response explains obligations of doctors (staying true to their vocation) and what doctors need 

to do (awareness of ones limitations, fight for patient’s best interest, provide comfort for their 

patients). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the role of doctors in providing care for patients. The 

response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, moving from doctor’s obligations to doctors’ 

attributes, although the distinction between attributes and obligations is sometimes unclear. The 

response uses appropriate transitions (Throughout the past sixty years; true to their vocation. 

Dr. Heagarty defines a vocation; although health care has improved). 

Uses language that is fluent (Patients relied on their doctors … and doctors relied on what they 

knew), with evident awareness of purpose (health care has changed … but the obligations of 

doctors … has remained the same). The response varies sentence structure to control rhythm 

and pacing (In a speech by Dr. Margaret C. Heagarty … workers). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (perscriptions and 

recognise), punctuation (ones limitations and medical care, they), and agreement (attributes … 

is and a patient … their) that do not hinder comprehension. 



[12]

Part Anchor A — Paper Practice – Part Paper A—Level – A 5 – B 

[13]


[14]


[15]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a thorough understanding of the text, explaining how a doctor must take care of a 

patient’s physical well being, as well as to make the patient feel mentally secure. The response 

makes clear and explicit connections between information and ideas in the text and the assigned 

task (a doctor should know what he or she is doing, ask questions, accept his or her own 

limitations, comfort patients). 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, using relevant and specific details from the text to 

explain what a doctor’s obligation entails (to be medically compotent, keeping up with medical 

advances, your … interest, comfort them when they’re scared). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on how a doctor can successfully fulfill his obligations. 

The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas by presenting information about doctors’ 

competency and knowledge, moving to a discussion of their ethical mandates (needing to fight 

for you), and concluding with their need to relate to you as a patient. Appropriate transitions 

(For example, However, as well as) are used. 

Uses language that is fluent (Moreover, patients should be correct when they assume … 

therapeutics), with evident awareness of purpose (A speech … clearly outlines what a doctor 

can do). The response varies sentence structure to control pacing (That skill is listening). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (compotent), punctuation 

(reasons one, dont, this then), and agreement (a doctor … their, your doctor … They, there’s 

three main things) that do not hinder comprehension. 



[16]

Anchor Paper – Part A—Level 5 – C 

[17]

Part Anchor A — Paper Practice – Part Paper A—Level – A 5 – C 

Anchor Level 5 – C 

Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

[18] 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a thorough understanding of the text, explaining how the obligations of a doctor to a 

patient are the most important aspect of medicine. The response makes clear and explicit 

connections between information and ideas in the text and the assigned task (Dr. Heagarty 

explains that dealing with patients correctly is as formidable a task as … knowledge and All of 

this makes a steadfast relationship between a patient and a doctor). 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, using relevant details to explain doctors’ traits 

(competent, up to date, know what they are doing) and expected care (listen to patients’ 

concerns and give the best care … with indifference to bureaucratic barriers). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on a doctor’s role, offering patients certain comforts 

and medical expertise. The response then moves to the aspect of vocation (Doctors must want 

to help their fellow man). The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas through the use of a 

controlling metaphor (elements of the doctor-patient relationship as the foundation, brick, and 

mortar), as well as appropriate transitions (Most importantly, However, To keep this 

foundation). 

Uses language that is fluent and original (brought radical changes to … medicine and as 

formidable a task), with evident awareness of purpose (Fulfilled obligations of a doctor … 

holds the foundation of medicine together). The response varies sentence structure to control 

pacing (The answer is the love of the vocation). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (expertiese, recieve, 

reconize), punctuation (obligations just; money, it; situation doctors), and agreement (a patient 

… they and obligations … builds) that do not hinder comprehension. 

Conclusion: Overall, the response best fits the criteria for Level 5, although it is somewhat 

weaker in conventions.


[19]


[20]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a thorough understanding of the text (Doctors have many obligations … and many 

unwritten rules). The response makes explicit connections between information and ideas in the 

text and the assigned task (This is relavant … she tells about how times have changed). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others, using specific and relevant details from the text to 

discuss relationships with patients (Make sure you learn about your patients), but consultation 

with specialists and coordination of patient care is not addressed. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on important facts students becoming doctors need to 

know. The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, moving from Dr. Heagarty’s 

background as a doctor’s daughter, to the aspect of vocation, to a doctor’s competence and 

compassion. The response lacks internal consistency in paragraph 2, which starts with 

Heagarty’s background and ends with the field of perscribing medicine. 

Uses appropriate language that is sometimes repetitive (talks about this, talks about and 

explains, obligation of the doctor, obligations a doctor has) and inexact (closest examples and 

the full way). The response occasionally makes effective use of sentence structure and length 

(There is always something new to learn). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (perscription, exspected, 

curtious), punctuation (patients shoes and and whatever you do make), pronoun agreement 

(doctor… their patients and patient … they), and usage (shifts in point of view) that do not 

hinder comprehension. 


stronger in meaning. 

[21]


[22]


[23]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the text, explaining how medicine has changed, things 

doctors need to know, and their obligations toward patients. The response makes implicit 

connections between information and ideas in the text and the assigned task (patients … need 

your utmost care and want someone that they can rely on). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others. The response uses specific and relevant details 

from the text to discuss knowledge (keep up with new advances and know your own limitations) 

and obligations (Patients need care … comfort and security) of doctors. Changes in medicine 

since 1928 and the concept of vocation are less developed. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the core of being a doctor. The response exhibits a 

logical sequence of ideas following the order established in the introduction by first presenting 

information about changes in medicine and then moving to what … doctors need to know and 

their obligations … towards their patients. The response lacks internal consistency in paragraph 

3, jumping from social and ethical learning to new advances. 

Uses appropriate language, with some awareness of audience and purpose (Since we have been 

discussing heath-care workers … their obligations). The response occasionally makes effective 

use of sentence structure (One thing has remained unchanged and always will, according to Dr. 

Heagarty). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (proffessions, insite, 

limitiations), punctuation (doctor which, learning it, do just), agreement (There has been many 

changes, Medical research and technology has come, a doctor’s obligations to their patients), 

and usage (shifts in point of view) that do not hinder comprehension. 

Conclusion: Overall, the response best fits the criteria for Level 4 in all qualtities. 

[24]


[25]


[26]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the text (Doctors have important responsibilities and 

obligations toward their patients). The response makes implicit connections between 

information and ideas in the text and the assigned task (They should know what the patient 

needs or does not need to get better). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others. The response uses specific and relevant details to 

explain that doctors must have knowledge (Doctors … know the basic skills and keep up with 

medical advances) and caring (Patients are frightened when they come in to see their doctor). 

The concept of vocation is undeveloped. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on doctor’s obligations. The response exhibits a logical 

sequence of ideas, establishing main arguments about knowledge, limitations, and comfort in 

the introduction, then presenting information about each of these ideas in separate paragraphs, 

ending with a summary conclusion. 

Uses appropriate language that is sometimes repetitive (to know the basic skills, know their 

abilities and limitations, know what they know … and don’t know), with some awareness of 

audience and purpose (I will use a speech by Dr. Margaret Heagarty to prove this). The 

response occasionally makes effective use of sentence structure (They are not expected to know 

everything … patients put all their trust in their doctors hands). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in punctuation (do. To; doctor and 

they; vocation, they), and agreement (patient … they and patient … their) that do not hinder 

comprehension. 


[27]


[28]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the text by stating that a health-care worker’s obligations 

towards their patients include comforting them, and knowing your limitations. The response 

makes superficial connections between information and ideas in the text and the assigned task 

(Even if the problem is chest pains, depression, or Parkinson’s Disease, it should be recognized 

and Knowing your limitations could help prevent you from giving false information). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some details from the text (Asking help from other physicians and 

Keeping up with the new discoveries of science). 

Establishes a focus on the idea that health-care workers are very important in society. The 

response exhibits a rudimentary structure but the arrangement of information in paragraph 2 is 

inconsistent, mentioning different techniques of comforting a patient but presenting these 

techniques out of sequence (address the problem, recognize the problem, be attentive and 

freindly). 

Relies on basic vocabulary, with little awareness of audience or purpose (Both are important for 

giving your knowledge and trust to your patient). The response exhibits some attempt to vary 

sentence structure or length for effect, but with uneven success (Although, health-care workers 

have a large number of tasks to complete). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (freindly), punctuation 

(workers career and “Anything less would be a betrayal to your vocation), and agreement (a 

patient … their and a patient … them) that do not hinder comprehension. 


stronger in conventions. 

[29]


[30]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the text (The main obligation of Doctors today is to serve the 

needs of the patient, not only physical, but emotional also). The response makes superficial 

connections between information and ideas in the text and the assigned task (The first thing that 

… physical needs of the patient and The next thing … the patients emotional needs). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some details from the text (A doctor must be able to show 

comfort, care and support to their patients). The response offers some details about how 

doctors can meet the emotional needs of their patients in paragraph 3, but fails to develop other 

ideas it introduces (the physical needs of the patient and They must also know when to ask for 

help and when not to), and contains occasional unjustified assertions (Her fathers methods of 

Helping the patients was just common sense and a little Bit of care and There are many 

obligations … But there are only two important ones). 

Organization Establishes an appropriate focus on the obligations of doctors, but loses focus in paragraph 2, 

shifting from patient’s physical needs to Doctor Heagarty’s experiences when she was sixteen. 

The response exhibits a rudimentary structure but includes some irrelevancies (her father … 

graduated from the University of Georgia in 1929). 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is sometimes repetitive (She shows this, This is shown, A doctor 

must be able to show), with little awareness of audience or purpose. The response exhibits some 

attempt to vary sentence structure or length, but with uneven success (The next thing that 

Doctors need to Do is taking care of the patients emotional needs). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in apostrophe use (fathers methods 

and patients emotional needs), grammar (methods was and doctor … their), and random use of 

capitalization (in a Speech, be come a Doctor, a speech Given) that do not hinder 




[31]


[32]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the text, explaining that comfort and … patients well being 

are key obligations of doctors. The response makes superficial connections between information 

and ideas in the text and the assigned task (The doctor is required to make sure the patient is 

taken care of and … helped). 

Is largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the text are vague (The doctor needs 

to make a good feeling in the room and If a patient is sick, the doctor is required to care of 

them). 

Establishes a focus on doctor’s roles. The response exhibits a rudimentary structure, discussing 

two obligations sequentially (making a patient comfortable and taking care of the patient), 

followed by a conclusion. 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is sometimes inexact (many certain roles to play and conformity 

for “comfort”). The response makes some attempt to vary sentence structure, but with uneven 

success (Without these … nervous and restless). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in punctuation (doctors obligations; 

sick. The doctor; when they did they), agreement (doctor … them, patient … them, doctor… 

their), and proofreading (they, they) that do not hinder comprehension. 


stronger in conventions and somewhat weaker in development. 

[33]


. 


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused understanding of the text (obligations of doctors … have to be “vocation”). 

The response alludes to the text but makes unwarranted connections to the assigned task (I hope 

this speech has helped you All). 

Is incomplete and largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the text are vague 

(You have to be at your very best and Back then). 

Suggests a focus on advice to doctors (This is a very symblic step) but lacks organization. 

Relies on basic vocabulary, with little awareness of audience (everybody needs you). The 

response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure, but with uneven success (as the 

population ages to when people have HIV). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (memerobal, Medician, 

reconitions), punctuation (In your life ths), and pronoun referents (This is a very symblic step) 

that hinder comprehension. 


stronger in language use and conventions. 

[34]


[35]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused understanding of the text (She don’t want medical care to be serve by the 

community). The response alludes to the text but makes unclear connections to the assigned task 

(We want people to survive … in the world). 

Is largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the text are vague (she knew it was a 

great career and she also follow her fathers foot step) and unjustified (1928’s medical practice 

when there was hardly any medicine). 

Lacks an appropriate focus but suggests some organization, using separate paragraphs for an 

introduction, body, and conclusion. Ideas between and within paragraphs are unconnected. 

Uses language that is imprecise (then for “than” and As year pass medicine has improve). The 

response reveals little awareness of how to use sentences to achieve an effect (She describes 

how when and “an awareness … on when to seek assistance). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in punctuation (worker you need; 

Doctor. Margaret C. Heagarty; year pass medicine) and grammar (there was no “vitamins, 

changes has occur, She don’t want) that hinder comprehension. 



[36]


[37]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused understanding of the text (The speech … was basicly compareing her 

father day … to Physician in today society). The response makes unwarranted connections to 

the assigned task (time to step up and save our future). 

Is largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the text are irrelevant (today society 

have more medicial school and teacher), repetitive (her father days and Dr. Margret father 

days), and unjustified (medicial might be boring and difficult to complete). 

Lacks an appropriate focus but suggests some organization through paragraphing and use of 

transitions (also and In today society). The response often combines different ideas in the same 

paragraph. 

Uses language that is imprecise for the audience and purpose (talked how in her father days, 

like HIV and Aids the we have, how it time). The response reveals little awareness of how to use 

sentences to achieve an effect. 

Demonstrates a lack of control, exhibiting frequent errors in spelling (basicly, compareing, 

develope, bin for “been”), use of possessives (father day, today society, Dr. Margret point), 

grammar (diseases was and cure we still looking), and the omission of inflectional endings (Dr. 

Margaret talk about, diseases that could have kill you, as physician they) that make 

comprehension difficult. 


[38]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides minimal evidence of textual understanding beyond a reference in the first sentence to 

the task. The response makes no connections between information in the text and the assigned 

task. 

Is minimal, with no evidence of development. 

Suggests a focus on doctors but lacks organization. 

Is minimal. 

Is minimal, making assessment of conventions unreliable. 


stronger in organization. 

[39]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides minimal evidence of textual understanding beyond a reference to the assigned task. 

The response makes no connections between information in the text and the assigned task. 

Is minimal, offering primarily a personal response to the text. 

Suggests a focus on doctors but lacks organization. 

Is minimal. 




[40]

Part A — Practice Paper – A 

[41]


[42]


[43]

Part A — Practice Paper – B 

[44]

Part A — Practice Paper – C 

[45]


[46]

Part A — Practice Paper – D 

[47]

Part A — Practice Paper – E 

[48]


[49]

Practice Paper A–Score Level 4 


Practice Paper B–Score Level 3 


Practice Paper C–Score Level 5 



Practice Paper D–Score Level 2 


Practice Paper E–Score Level 4 


in development. 

[50]

SESSION ONE – PART B – SCORING RUBRIC 

READING AND WRITING FOR INFORMATION AND UNDERSTANDING 

QUALITY 

6 


level: 

5 


level: 

4 


level: 

3 


level: 

2 


level: 







and text(s) 

-reveal an in-depth 

analysis of the 

documents 




the documents and the 

assigned task 

-convey a thorough 

understanding of the 

documents 





assigned task 

- convey a basic 


documents 





assigned task 

-convey a basic 


documents 





assigned task 


inaccurate understanding 

of the documents 

-allude to the documents 

but make unclear or 

unwarranted 

connections to the 

assigned task 






document(s) 





specific details from the 

documents 


and consistently, using 

relevant and specific 

details from the 

documents 



using specific and 

relevant details from the 

documents 


using some details from 

the documents 




references to the 

documents are vague, 

irrelevant, repetitive, or 

unjustified 





coherence 







transitions 







transitions 






consistency 



focus 



include some 


irrelevancies 





organization 


























pacing 




and purpose 







or purpose 








purpose 








punctuation, 

paragraphing, 







language 









not hinder 

comprehension 









• If the student addresses only one text, the response can be scored no higher than a 3. 




1 


level: 


evidence of 

understanding 


between information in 


assigned task 




organization 

-are minimal 


predominantly 

incoherent, 

inappropriate, or copied 

directly from the text 


assessment of 


-may be illegible or not 


[51]

Anchor Part B — Paper Practice – Part Paper B—Level – A 6 – A 

[52]


[53]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Reveals an in-depth analysis of the documents by connecting information from the text (the 

population … fewer than 2,000 remaining) and the table (Other human related causes … 

fishing lines) to explain the danger to the manatee. The response makes insightful connections 

between information and ideas in the documents and the assigned task (In most cases, humans 

aid … species … with the Florida manatee, however, this is yet to happen). 


details from the documents to discuss humans as the cause of the manatee’s decline (flood gates 

and canal locks; litter, poaching; watercraft collisions) and ways to further the welfare of this 

species (slow-speed zones, boater education, legal action). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the manatee as an endangered species and the 

effective means to save it. The response exhibits a logical and coherent structure, moving from 

a consideration of wildlife on this planet to the plight of the Florida manatee, to efforts 

underway to protect it (Florida has ordered … protection plans”). The conclusion reconnects 

the manatee with other endangered animals, placing the responsibility for saving it on humans. 

Transitional devices are skillfully used (Therefore, In fact, With cooperation and organization). 

Is stylistically sophisticated, using language that is precise and engaging (While the incentive … 

forced by law to act), with a notable sense of voice (A greater awareness … wonderful animal) 

and awareness of audience and purpose (Of course … have unleashed). The response varies 

structure and length of sentences to enhance meaning (It is clear, therefore, that human 

development and carelessness are leading to the extinction of the manatees). 


language. 


[54]

Anchor Part B — Paper Practice – Part Paper B—Level – A 6 – B 

[55]


[56]


[57]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Reveals an in-depth analysis of the documents, stating there are many factors, some natural 

and some human induced, that exist as dangers to the health of manatees in the wild. The 

response makes insightful connections between information and ideas in the documents and the 

assigned task (humans greatly increase the number of manatee deaths, mainly through actions 

that people are unaware of). 


details from the documents to identify the natural causes from which manatees die (manatees 

are susceptible to diseases … caused by cold weather and stress, perinatal deaths) emphasizing 

human related deaths and discussing the effectiveness of current actions. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the factors that present dangers to manatees. The 

response exhibits a logical and coherent structure initiated by a pair of questions (So why … 

killed every year? and And why … are the mortality rates not yet declining?). The response 

answers the questions by identifying the common environmental factors that result in manatee 

mortality and those caused by humans, suggests involving more people … in making the 

Florida waters safer places as a solution to the manatee’s decline, and concludes with a 

personal plea for a positive outcome. Transitions are skillfully used (That is why and may also 

be caught). 

Uses language that is fluent (Their inability to recognize … to avoid them), with evident 

awareness of audience and purpose (If we are doing so much … doing something about it?). 

The response varies structure and length of sentences to control rhythm and pacing (The Truth 

is … already established). 


language. 


in language use. 

[58]


[59]


[60]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a thorough understanding of the documents, explaining the causes of the manatee’s 

problems, while calling on the human race to protect and help this species, although misstating 

fatality totals from the table (fatalities … exceeded 100 from 1976 to 2001). The response 

makes clear and explicit connections between information and ideas in the documents and the 

assigned task (it takes a great deal of time and money and almost $30,000 per year … on food 

alone). 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, using relevant and specific details from the documents 

to highlight the hazards manatees confront (death or severe injury due to boats, pollution, cold 

weather, diseases). The response explains the attempts to protect and save the manatee 

(manatee protection plans, satellite transmitters, nursed back to health). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the endangering factors and conservation 

requirements for manatee survival. The response exhibits a logical and coherent structure, first 

establishing the scope of the manatee problem, then presenting information about its causes 

(severe injury due to boats) and solutions, and ending with a call for action. Transitions are 

skillfully used (Despite the many fatalities; Aside from those statistics; Unfortunately, 10 years 

later). 

Uses language that is fluent and original (rendering them unaware of the impending danger), 

with evident awareness of audience and purpose (something must be done and Expenses like 

these could be reduced). The response varies structure and length of sentences to control 

rhythm and pacing (Animals as gentle as these do not deserve the fate that commonly awaits 

them). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (distruction 

and inaudable), punctuation (problem is and locks, and), and usage (death … surpass). 



[61]

Anchor Paper – Part B—Level 5 – B 

[62]


[63]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a thorough understanding of the documents, explaining that manatees are affected by 

the oftentimes reckless things humans do. The response makes clear and explicit connections 

between the information and ideas in the documents and the assigned task, noting that humans 

must take responsibility for their actions as well as correct this massive problem. 


to discuss human factors that contribute to the endangerment of manatees (90 percent of 

manatees … have been afflicted with scars from boats and people have destroyed manatee 

habitat), steps that have been taken to alleviate the problem (three hospitals … care for 

wounded manatees ), and drawbacks of each effort (expensive undertaking). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the problem of the manatee. The response exhibits a 

logical sequence of ideas, first acknowledging the problem, then addressing its causes 

(proliferate use of high-speed water crafts) and current solutions (law suits), and ending with an 

appeal for action. Transitions are appropriately used (If even thirty, Thankfully, Other steps). 

Uses language that is generally fluent and original (could ever replicate, deaths have escalated, 

marine mammals), with evident awareness audience and purpose (our actions affect the world 

in lasting ways), but sometimes lapses into personal asides (Math is not a virtue of mine and 

Math whiz or not). The response varies structure and length of sentences to control rhythm and 

pacing (Unfortunately, getting support in this movement is not a simple task). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (measely, legistically, 

rediculous), use of the hyphen (collision induced, human caused, seventy five), and use of 

prepositions (on total and $30,000 a year in each manatee’s food) that do not hinder 




[64]

Anchor Paper – Part B—Level 5 – C 

[65]

Anchor Part B — Paper Practice – Part Paper B—Level – A 5 – C 

[66]


[67]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a thorough understanding of the documents, establishing the dangers manatees face 

and the efforts to help them. The response makes clear and explicit connections between the 

information and ideas in the documents and the assigned task, observing that while the effert to 

protect manatees increases, so does the destructive behavior that harms them. 


to explain the several dangers manatees face, from boat related collisions to natural 

phenomenon, like the red tide, and then explores the efforts to aid these gentle giants. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the necessity to come to the defense of the helpless 

manatee. The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas by establishing the problem 

(manatees are headed quickly for extinction), describing the many causes for this, seguing into 

the efforts to help the manatee, and concluding with a call to combat extinction with wild life 

protection. Appropriate transitions are used (second leading cause and Other causes). 

Uses appropriate language, with some awareness of audience and purpose (Can humanity find a 

solution to the problem?). The response occasionally makes effective use of sentence structure 

and length (Despite the glowing sucess of the hospital, rehabilitating these animals is a 

daunting task). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (thier, speices, 

technologie, dissapear), punctuation (oceans gentle giants; heart wrenching; red tide also; 

rehabilitated,awareness), grammar (one of the most … creature and calfs for “calves”), usage 

(cause for manatee deaths), and proofreading (due the) that do not hinder comprehension. 


in language use and conventions. 

[68]


[69]

Anchor Paper – Part B—Level 4 – A 

[70]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the documents (The study of efforts to save endangered 

species is crucial). The response makes implicit connections between information and ideas in 

the documents and the assigned task (With this taking place … something needs to be done). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others, using specific and relevant details from the 

documents to discuss reasons for manatee endangerment (watercraft collisions … flood gates). 

Beth Wright’s research work and Governor Martinez’s efforts are less developed. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the Florida manatee and methods used to save it 

from extinction. The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, first establishing causes of 

manatee mortality (watercraft collisions … and some are to badly decomposed before a 

conclusion could be made), followed by methods to decrease mortality (being monitored and 

speed limits). The conclusion that help from others is necessary to save the manatees is vague. 

Uses appropriate language that is at times awkward (methods in which to use) and imprecise (to 

for “too”), with some awareness of audience and purpose (You may be asking … delicate 

species?”). The response occasionally makes effective use of sentence structure and length 

(Some ask … boats? and The answer is simple). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (thoughtfullness, 

successfull, Unfortunetly), punctuation (In situations like this it is and in 1991 the), and 

capitalization (Endangered Animals and florida which is) that do not hinder comprehension. 


[71]


[72]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the documents by addressing why we don’t have many 

manatees left and discussing the ways manatees need to be protected. The response makes 

implicit connections between information and ideas in the documents and the assigned task (we 

should … be doing much more to help them). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others. The response uses specific and relevant details 

from the documents to discuss the problem of manatee deaths (trying to prevent accidents and 

they are taken to the hospital) and ways the problem might be helped (Manatee Protection Area 

and boat speed zones, educational programs and mapping areas for new docks). Other causes 

of death (undetermined) and Bob Martinez … protection plans are less developed. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the Florida manatee and methods used to save it 

from extinction. The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, first establishing why the 

manatee is endangered (Manatees are killed by boating accidents … development or polution), 

followed by solutions (This allowed to identify boat speed zones … new docks to be built). The 

loosely connected ideas in the second paragraph lack internal consistency. 

Uses appropriate language, with some awareness of audience and purpose (We have begun 

helping a little … to survive). The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure for 

effect, but often produces awkward constructions (Treating these animals … cost 30,000 a 

year.) 

Demonstrates partial control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling 

(polution, Instituts’, Threatenened), punctuation (lines, they and isnt), and grammar (Treating 

these animals are very costly and who had order) that do not hinder comprehension. 

Conclusion: Overall, the response best fits the criteria for Level 4. 

[73]


[74]


[75]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the documents (There are a number of Different things that 

Kill off the manatees … in the United States). The response makes implicit connections between 

information and ideas in the text and the assigned task (Sence manatees cannot hear …hit by 

passing boaters), but misinterprets some data from the chart (per year increase in manatee 

deaths). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others, using specific and relevant details from the 

documents to discuss why the Florida manatee is endangered (boat motors, becomeing tangled 

or ingesting Fishing or crab trap lines, getting caught in Flood gates and canals). The number 

of surviving manatees is inaccurate (7000). The response mentions some things that we can do 

to help preserve the Florida manatee’s, but discusses only one (“manatee protection areas”). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on manatee endangerment. The response exhibits a 

logical sequence of ideas, first establishing the problem of manatee mortality (There are only 

about 7000 manatees … in the United States) followed by a description of “manatee protection 

areas” to reduce the decline in population. 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is sometimes imprecise (there for “their” and were for 

“where”), with little awareness of audience and purpose (there are some things that we can do). 

The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure for effect, but with uneven 

success (Sence 1976 the Deaths … mostly). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (sence, susceptable, 

useing), punctuation (floridas manatees; life. and; pneumonia cold), and the random use of 

capitalization (Deaths and Boats) that hinder comprehension. 


in language use and conventions. 

[76]


[77]



Quality 

Meaning 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the text, stating that manatees … should be helped. The 

response makes few connections between the text and the task (To help protect Manatees steps 

can be taken) and alludes to the table. 

Development Develops ideas briefly, using some details from the text (Since the year 1972 … 2,000 

remaining, Ninety percent of them have scars … three hundred are killed per year, Govenor 

Bob Martinez … proposed protection plans). 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on manatee endangerment and protection. The response 

exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, establishing the potential extinction of the manatee, 

followed by the reasons manatees die and ways they may be protected, and concluding with an 

appeal to the reader. The response lacks a transition between the discussion of how humans are 

responsible and how nature (pneumonia) is responsible for the deaths of manatees. 

Relies on basic vocabulary, with little awareness of audience (If an ordinary person wated to 

help). The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure, but with uneven success 

(They can also become entangled in nets which leads … to death also). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (wated) and punctuation 

(1972 the number; has been declining, today; boats motor) that do not hinder comprehension. 


stronger in organization and conventions. 

[78]


[79]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the documents (Manatees have scars … because of boat 

propellers). The response makes few and superficial connections between information and 

ideas in the documents and the assigned task (Something has to be done and educate the 

public). 

Develops ideas briefly, using details from the documents relative to watercraft collisions as the 

cause of death For Manatees. 

Establishes an appropriate focus on manatees and boats. The response exhibits a rudimentary 

structure and includes some irrelevancies (Fines and Classes … to obtain a boating license). 

Relies on basic vocabulary (a lot and stuff), with some awareness of audience (Something must 

be done). The response primarily relies on simple sentences. 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (seperate and 

eachother), random use of capitalization (There are Now, Left, Further), and grammar (less 

than 2,000 and work good). 


[80]


[81]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a basic understanding of the documents (Many die from … cuts on there back and the 

rest are caused by … unknow or natural causes), but mistakenly attributes Beth Wright’s work 

to an enviromeatal group. The response makes few connections between information and ideas 

in the documents and the assigned task (They say the main cause of there population dropping 

is because of watercraft collisions). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some details from the text (30 percent of all manatee’s deaths, 

2,000 manatees alive, a plan to save the manatees) and making minimal use of the table. 

Establishes a focus on the Florida manatee as an endangered species (If you are planning … 

watch out for the Florida Manatee’s). The response exhibits a rudimentary structure with some 

inconsistencies (Since the Governor … the coalition of enviromental groups … 8 more areas). 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is sometimes imprecise (there for “there” and witch for 

“which”), with little awareness of audience and purpose (We can only hope for best). The 

response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure or length for effect, but with uneven 

success (Only four countries took that plan in affect … , and Citrus). 

Demonstrates a lack of control, exhibiting frequent errors in spelling (comeing, scares for 

“scars”, enviromental, partes), punctuation (human. Witch and killed The), grammar (Manatees 

are a … creature and coalition … are), and proofreading (to creat to creat and at at) that hinder 




[82]


[83]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused understanding of the documents stating that Florida Manatee is endangered 

… because Florida Manatee are listed endangered. The response alludes to the documents but 

makes unclear connections to the assigned task (So try to save these animal because you can 

make diffrent). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some details copied from the text (boats are the number leading 

cause …lose habitat to development and pollution) and a brief allusion to the table. 

Suggests a focus on tiring to find effective methods used to save the Florida Manatee, but the 

single paragraph organization primarily parallels the organizational pattern of the text. 

Uses language that is imprecise (there for “they’re”, that alot mantees, the think is, safe of these 

animal). The response reveals little awareness of how to use sentences to achieve an effect (But 

take care of these animal … on food for Manatee alone). 

Demonstrates lack of control, exhibiting frequent errors in spelling (evey, diying, diffrent), 

punctuation (Manatee. because; death there; this we), and grammar (many other thing, we gone, 

are swim) that make comprehension difficult. 


stronger in development. 

[84]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused or inaccurate understanding of the documents (There are some ways we 

can try to save them … put them in rehabilitation centers). The response alludes to the 

documents but makes unclear connections to the assigned task. 

Is largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the documents are vague (You can 

also track them …were they are going and They sould have … more enforcement). 

Suggests a focus on the Florida manatee being endangered. The response lacks organization, 

consisting of one paragraph of loosely related ideas. 

Uses language that is imprecise (The Florida Manatee … hear the boat motors). The response 

reveals little awareness of how to use sentences to achieve an effect (Undetermined death … is 

4332 manatee). 

Demonstrates a lack of control, exhibiting frequent errors in punctuation (cant, save them we 

can, way it) and grammar (boats are kill them and death have killed) that make comprehension 

difficult. 


[85]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused and inaccurate understanding of the documents (30,000 dollars per year … 

to fed and to Save). The response alludes to the documents but makes unclear connections to the 

assigned task (So ways are being … beuties alive). 

Is largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the documents are vague (killed is 

Many diffrent ways). 

Suggests a focus on saving the manatee but lacks organization. The response consists of one 

paragraph of loosely related ideas. 

Uses language that is imprecise. The response reveals little awareness of how to use sentences 

to achieve an effect (The problem is … they are there). 

Demonstrates a lack of control, exhibiting frequent errors in spelling (Manatiee, diffrent, 

easaly, creatived, beuties), punctuation (2001 325; sea dwell-ing; Manaties, there; area’s), and 

grammar (killed is Many diffrent ways and per year are spent to fed) that make comprehension 

difficult. 


[86]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides minimal evidence of understanding. The response makes one connection between 

information in the documents and the assigned task (This is the reason … death). 


Suggests a focus on the manatee’s lack of reaction but lacks organization. 

Is minimal. 




[87]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides no evidence of understanding. The response makes no connections between the 

information in the documents and the assigned task. 


Shows no focus or organization. 

Is minimal. 


Conclusion: The response best fits the criteria for Level 1 in all qualities. 

[88]

Part B — Practice Paper – A 

[89]


[90]

Part B — Practice Paper – B 

[91]


[92]

Part B — Practice Paper – C 

[93]

Part B — Practice Paper – D 

[94]


[95]

Part B — Practice Paper – E 

[96]







Conclusion: Overall, the response best fits criteria for Level 3 in all qualities. 






[97]

DIRECTIONS FOR TEACHERS 

LISTENING SECTION 


Tuesday, January 24, 2006 —1:15 to 4:15 p.m., only 

SESSION ONE 

BE SURE THAT THE LISTENING SECTION IS ADMINISTERED TO EVERY STUDENT. 

1 Before the start of the examination period, say: 

Do not open the examination booklet until you are instructed to do so. 

2 Distribute one examination booklet and one essay booklet to each student. 

3 After each student has received an examination booklet and an essay booklet, say: 

Tear off the answer sheet, which is the last page of the examination 

booklet, and fill in its heading. Now circle “Session One” and fill in the 

heading on each page of your essay booklet. 

4 After the students have filled in all headings on their answer sheets and essay booklets, say: 

Look at page 2 of your examination booklet and follow along while I read 

the Overview and The Situation. 

Overview: 

For this part of the test, you will listen to a speech about medical doctors, 

answer some multiple-choice questions, and write a response based on 

the situation described below. You will hear the speech twice. You may 

take notes on the next page anytime you wish during the readings. 

The Situation: 

Your health class has been studying the roles of health-care workers. For 

a class project, you have decided to write a report in which you discuss 

the obligations of doctors toward their patients. In preparation for 

writing your report, listen to a speech by Dr. Margaret C. Heagarty to a 

new class of medical students. Then use relevant information from the 

speech to write your report. 

Now I will read the passage aloud to you for the first time. 

5 Now read the passage aloud, including attribution at the end. Read with appropriate expression, but without 

added comment. 

[1]

Listening Passage 

I am greatly honored to be asked to say a few words on what, with time, you will discover 

is one of the more memorable occasions of your lives. But given the distance in our ages, I 

have wondered what I can say to you that would not sound like banal clichés, what you 

could possibly hear and use as you take this first, symbolic step toward your goals in 

medicine.... 

My father was a physician, a country doctor who spent his life caring for the coal miners 

of West Virginia. When he graduated from the University of Georgia about 1928, he did not 

have vitamins, steroids, hormones, or antibiotics in his doctor’s bag. He did have a doctor’s 

bag and he did make house calls. At sixteen, I learned to drive on a World War II jeep, 

accompanying him around the hills and hollers of West Virginia as he made those calls.... 

You begin medical studies at a time when the entire health-care system is in flux, when 

new challenges ranging from the aging of the nation’s population to the HIV virus to 

managed care will bedevil you over the next thirty-five years. And as I have meditated upon 

you, me, and my father, I have wondered what, if anything, links us. In the more than 

seventy-five years since my father began his journey in the profession, has medicine so 

changed that we have little to share with one another? 

But I believe that while the scientific knowledge base has broadened and changed, and 

the structure and the organization of the profession have surely changed — indeed 

dramatically in the past few years — the basic core of who we are and what we do has not 

changed and must not, ever. 

And that fundamental core can be found in an old-fashioned word, “vocation.” My basic 

message to you is that a vocation, by definition, is more, much more than simply an incomeproducing 

occupation. I believe you, as I and my father, have decided to become physicians 

out of some sort of idealistic need or calling to serve our fellow human beings. With this 

choice you, as I did, are about to embark upon a long and arduous novitiate during which 

you will not only be taught basic scientific knowledge and skills but also the social and 

ethical norms of the medical profession. Today you take your first vows as a member of this 

profession.... 

All of this may sound like obvious generalizations, but as I have thought about you, I 

suddenly realized that I have a personal and rather pragmatic stake in your future careers. 

For I am of the age when it is likely that very soon I will need to rely upon you or someone 

very like you for medical care. And I wondered what would I want from you, when I come 

to see you with my chest pain or my depression or my Parkinsonism. 

Of course, I would assume that you are medically competent and have managed to keep 

up to date, more or less, with advances in science and therapeutics. But please note, I do 

not expect you to know it all, for that is impossible for any of us. More importantly, I do 

expect you to know what you don’t know and to be wise enough to recognize your own 

limitations; to know when to ask for help or consultation from colleagues. This decision can 

be among the most difficult for any physician; there is a very delicate balance between 

asking for help as against rejecting a patient out of insecurity or an unwillingness to make a 

difficult clinical decision. Of all the attributes a physician must develop, an awareness of 

one’s limitations and a recognition of one’s responsibilities to each patient are preeminent. 

Notice that if you do decide to send me to someone for consultation, I will continue, if you 

are my primary-care physician, to expect you to retain control of my medical care, to 

coordinate what any number of specialists may recommend. I do not want my medical care 

to be provided by a committee. I want someone who takes the ultimate responsibility and 

makes the ultimate decisions about what I may or may not need. 

But I would want much more. I would want to know that you have stayed true to your 

[2]

vocation. I would want you to listen to me, to hear my concerns — real or imagined — and 

to acknowledge and understand them. I would want you to understand that as a patient, I 

am, by definition, at the minimum anxious, if not scared to death. I would expect you to 

have learned how to comfort me, to relieve my terror. 

For the next year or so, the mysteries of anatomy, physiology, and the like will seem 

formidable to you. But the task of learning how to relate to your patients, how to develop 

caring for your patients — both those you enjoy and those you don’t much like — will be 

an equally if not more difficult task to master. And this skill is as important as any a physician 

possesses, certainly as important and sometimes more important than any high-tech 

diagnostic or therapeutic maneuver available to you. For much of what you will do as 

physicians will involve comfort, support, caritas [care]. 

Finally, I would want to be assured that you would do what is in my best interest, even if 

the managed-care plan places bureaucratic obstacles in your path. Indeed, I would expect 

you to fight for me, at whatever your personal cost, to ensure that I receive the care I need. 

Anything less would be a betrayal of the vows of your vocation.… 

excerpted from “Beginning Doctors: 

A Word from the Wise” 

Commonweal, October 23, 1998 

6 After reading the passage aloud once, say: 

You may take a few minutes to look over The Situation and your notes. 

(Pause) Now I will read the passage aloud a second time. 

7 Read the passage a second time. 

8 After the second reading, say: 

Now turn to page 4 of your examination booklet, read the directions, and 

answer the multiple-choice questions. Be sure to follow all the directions 

given in your examination booklet and your essay booklet. You may now 

begin. 

[3]

[4]

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH 


SESSION TWO 


COMPREHENSIVE EXAMINATION 

IN 

ENGLISH 

SESSION TWO 

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 — 1:15 to 4:15 p.m., only 

The last page of this booklet is the answer sheet for the multiple-choice 

questions. Fold the last page along the perforations and, slowly and carefully, tear 

off the answer sheet. Then fill in the heading of your answer sheet. Now circle 

“Session Two” and fill in the heading of each page of your essay booklet. 

This session of the examination has two parts. For Part A, you are to answer 

all ten multiple-choice questions and write a response, as directed. For Part B, you 

are to write a response, as directed. 

When you have completed this session of the examination, you must sign the 

statement printed at the end of the answer sheet, indicating that you had no 

unlawful knowledge of the questions or answers prior to the session and that you 

have neither given nor received assistance in answering any of the questions 

during the session. Your answer sheet cannot be accepted if you fail to sign this 

declaration. 

The use of any communications device is strictly prohibited when taking this 

examination. If you use any communications device, no matter how briefly, your 

examination will be invalidated and no score will be calculated for you. 

DO NOT OPEN THIS EXAMINATION BOOKLET UNTIL THE SIGNAL IS GIVEN. 

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH SESSION TWO

Part A 

Directions: Read the passages on the following pages (an essay and an excerpt from a novel). Write the number 

of the answer to each multiple-choice question on your answer sheet. Then write the essay in your essay booklet 

as described in Your Task. You may use the margins to take notes as you read and scrap paper to plan your 

response. 

Your Task: 

After you have read the passages and answered the multiple-choice questions, 

write a unified essay about a childhood place as revealed in the passages. In 

your essay, use ideas from both passages to establish a controlling idea about a 

childhood place. Using evidence from each passage, develop your controlling 

idea and show how the author uses specific literary elements or techniques to 

convey that idea. 

Guidelines: 

Be sure to 

• Use ideas from both passages to establish a controlling idea about a childhood place 

• Use specific and relevant evidence from each passage to develop your controlling 

idea 

• Show how each author uses specific literary elements (for example: theme, 

characterization, structure, point of view) or techniques (for example: symbolism, 

irony, figurative language) to convey the controlling idea 


• Use language that communicates ideas effectively 


Comp. Eng. — Session Two – Jan. ’06 [2]

5 

10 

15 

20 

25 

30 

35 

40 

45 

50 

Passage I 

I am a displaced person. I sit here on a swing on the deck of my house in 

Northern California admiring how the fog has turned the valley below into a lake. 

For hours nothing will be visible below me except this large expanse of vapor; 

then slowly, as the sun rises and gains in intensity, the fog will start to curl up and 

begin its slow rolling drift toward the ocean. People here call it the dragon; and, 

indeed, a dragon is what it looks like, puffing and coiling, winged, flaring and in 

places thin and discreet, as it races before the sun, back to its ocean coast den. 

Mornings I sit here in awe and great peace. The mountains across the valley 

come and go in the mist; the redwoods and firs, oaks and giant bays appear as 

clumpish spires, enigmatic shapes of green, like the stone forests one sees in 

Chinese paintings of Guilin. 

It is incredibly beautiful where I live. Not fancy at all, or exclusive. But from 

where I sit on my deck I can look down on the backs of hawks, and the wide, 

satiny wings of turkey vultures glistening in the sun become my present 

connection to ancient Egyptian Africa. The pond is so still below me that the 

trees reflected in it seem, from this distance, to be painted in its depths. 

All this: the beauty, the quiet, the cleanliness, the peace, is what I love. I 

realize how lucky I am to have found it here. And yet, there are days when my 

view of the mountains and redwoods makes me nostalgic for small rounded hills 

easily walked over, and for the look of big leaf poplar and the scent of pine. 

I am nostalgic for the land of my birth, the land I left forever when I was 

thirteen—moving first to the town of Eatonton, and then, at seventeen, to the 

city of Atlanta. 

I cried one day as I talked to a friend about a tree I loved as a child. A tree 

that had sheltered my father on his long cold walk to school each morning: it was 

midway between his house and the school and because there was a large cavity 

in its trunk, a fire could be made inside it. During my childhood, in a tiny, 

overcrowded house in a tiny dell below it, I looked up at it frequently and felt 

reassured by its age, its generosity despite its years of brutalization (the fires, I 

knew, had to hurt), and its tall, old-growth pine nobility. When it was struck by 

lightning and killed, and then was cut down and made into firewood, I grieved as 

if it had been a person. Secretly. Because who among the members of my family 

would not have laughed at my grief? 

I have felt entirely fortunate to have had this companion, and even today 

remember it with gratitude. But why the tears? my friend wanted to know. And 

it suddenly dawned on me that perhaps it was sad that it was a tree and not a 

member of my family to whom I was so emotionally close. 

As a child I assumed I would always have the middle Georgia landscape to 

live in, as Brer Rabbit, a native also, and relative, had his brier patch. It was not 

to be. The pain of racist oppression, and its consequence, economic 

impoverishment, drove me to the four corners of the earth in search of justice 

and peace, and work that affirmed my whole being. I have come to rest here, 

weary from travel, on a deck—not a southern front porch—overlooking another 

world. 

I am content; and yet, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had 

been able to stay home? 

I remember early morning fogs in Georgia, not so dramatic as California 

ones, but magical too because out of the Southern fog of memory tramps my dark 

father, smiling and large, glowing with rootedness, and talking of hound dogs, 

biscuits and coons. And my equally rooted mother bustles around the corner of 

Comp. Eng. — Session Two – Jan. ’06 [3] [OVER]

55 

our house preparing to start a wash, the fire under the black wash pot extending 

a circle of warmth in which I, a grave-eyed child, stand. There is my sister Ruth, 

beautiful to me and dressed elegantly for high school in gray felt skirt and 

rhinestone brooch, hurrying up the road to catch the yellow school bus which 

glows like a large glow worm in the early morning fog…. 

— Alice Walker 

excerpted from “My Heart Has Reopened To You: 

The Place Where I Was Born” 

Her Blue Body Everything We Know, 1991 

Harcourt Brace Jovanovich 


Passage II 

5 

10 

15 

20 

25 

30 

35 

40 

45 

…The scenes of the farm were not as fantastic to John as he’d hoped they 

would be. The barn, its neat white trim picked out by moonlight, still looked 

obstinately like the barn, and the nocturnal knockings of the horses within were 

familiar, flat, and uninteresting. He could make of the manure pile no shapes or 

ghouls. It looked exactly like the manure pile that bulked so large in his daily 

activities. The air, though, clear and now cool, bearing the sweet, alluring scent of 

clover, invigorated him, and when he rounded the corner of the orchard, the way 

the pasture lay thick as fur fitted his sense of what this adventure, this first night 

abroad, ever, should be. 

The farm buildings sat on a hill embraced by the wide curve of a large creek. 

The two barns on one side and the white house and old orchard on the other 

formed a rectangle bisected by the gravel driveway. Fanning away from the 

central compound were fenced paddocks, stands of trees, and outbuildings for 

the storage of machinery. A couple housed straight stalls for horse shows and 

winter use. John had lived nowhere but the farm, and the nights he had spent 

away, at horse shows or with relatives, were so few that each remained discrete 

and pristine in his memory. Visits to cousins, one family in Cleveland and the 

other in Baltimore, had been arrestingly exotic: lawns instead of fields, afternoons 

among teeming strangers at giant public swimming pools, late nights of jokes, 

giggles, and the danger of lighting matches under the bedclothes. Once, with his 

cousin Fred, he had sneaked out the bedroom window, then tiptoed around the 

house to spy on the grownups. Most exotic of all, there had been no horses. 

An undulating apron of ground spread green-black and silver to the woods 

below. Mares and foals, feeling safety in the peace of the weather, were scattered 

over the lower third of the hillside, lying down or resting in the hammocks of their 

own joints. From where John stood, they all looked black, but when a head turned 

or a leg moved, bright white floated on the moonlight. This was more like it. The 

idea of night rambles about the farm had seemed spectacularly deviant to him, as 

if his daily resentments gestated something criminal, but now, actually out here, 

with his body clattering inside his clothes and his quietest cough like slamming 

doors, he felt delightfully orphaned and mute, about to discover something, 

anything, even though there was nothing he didn’t know already about the 

farm…. 

He came to the creek, where he had learned to swim (five strokes, walk across 

the gravel bar, seven more strokes, turn around). Every summer the four children 

exhausted its possibilities by the last week of school, but now, as John stood on the 

slippery bank, drawn there by the dappling of light through the trees, he drew in 

his breath, as if something were about to happen. By day you could see the gravel 

streambed through two or three feet of clear water. Water spiders skated and 

dragonflies hovered and minnows skittered in your peripheral vision. By night (off 

to his left, and then to his right, bullfrogs splashed into the water) the pool was 

black; he could not see at all, but this betokened everything rather than nothing. 

He squatted down and stuck his hand in, half expecting to pull out a dripping wad 

of life itself. The water was cold and fine, delicious to his skin. John laughed aloud 

and at once forgave the farm for being so familiar. Anything seemed possible at 

night. In the water at his feet, for example, he sensed not just minnows and frogs, 

but bass and trout and crawdads and river clams and water snakes (he stepped 

back). In the woods surrounding there were surely mice, rabbits, and moles, but 

why not woodchucks and badgers, opossums and raccoons, even deer? Among 


50 

55 

the leafy limbs and hollows of trees (boxelder, white ash, sugar maple, walnut, 

white and red and pin oak, elm and hickory, sycamore and poplar) there must be 

orioles and woodpeckers and bluebirds and jays and cardinals as well as sparrows, 

wrens, and robins. Owls and bats would be gazing upon him right this very 

moment. He paused, listening, and shivered blissfully. For an instant he could see 

it all, the densely inhabited earth and the thick stars, ready and waiting to be 

catalogued…. 

— Jane Smiley 

excerpted from Barn Blind, 1980 

Harper & Row 



Directions (1–10): Select the best suggested answer to each question and write its number in the space 

provided on the answer sheet. The questions may help you think about the ideas and information you might 

want to use in your essay. You may return to these questions anytime you wish. 

Passage I (the essay) — Questions 1–5 refer to 

Passage I. 

Passage II (the excerpt from a novel) — Questions 

6–10 refer to Passage II. 

1 What sensation triggers the author’s memory of a 

childhood place? 

(1) looking at a Chinese painting of forests 

(2) hearing sounds from the valley below 

(3) smelling the ocean on the breeze 

(4) viewing the landscape near her present home 

2 The author describes the tree near her childhood 

home as a 

(1) mischievous playmate 

(2) casual acquaintance 

(3) kind protector 

(4) stern teacher 

3 When Alice Walker compares herself to Brer 

Rabbit, hero of a southern folktale, she is using 

the literary device known as 

(1) allusion (3) foreshadowing 

(2) euphemism (4) onomatopoeia 

4 The author states that she left middle Georgia 

because of 

(1) religious intolerance (3) gender bias 

(2) racial prejudice (4) physical abuse 

6 At first John finds the scene of the farm at night 

(1) disappointing (3) attractive 

(2) exciting (4) frightening 

7 The farm in the passage primarily raises 

(1) cows (3) vegetables 

(2) horses (4) chickens 

8 The author introduces “Visits to cousins” (line 17) 

in order to 

(1) introduce a symbol (3) complicate the plot 

(2) provide a motive (4) create a contrast 

9 The author uses a simile in lines 29 through 31 to 

emphasize the night’s 

(1) silence (3) darkness 

(2) coldness (4) smells 

10 At the end of the passage, John imagines 

(1) city trips (3) many creatures 

(2) other farms (4) his cousins 

5 An image which connects the beginning and the 

end of the essay is that of the 

(1) sun (3) fog 

(2) lake (4) road 

After you have finished these questions, turn to page 2. Review Your Task and the Guidelines. Use scrap 

paper to plan your response. Then write your response to Part A, beginning on page 1 of your essay booklet. 

After you finish your response for Part A, go on to page 8 of your examination booklet and complete Part B. 


Part B 

Your Task: 

Write a critical essay in which you discuss two works of literature you have read from the particular perspective 

of the statement that is provided for you in the Critical Lens. In your essay, provide a valid interpretation of 

the statement, agree or disagree with the statement as you have interpreted it, and support your opinion using 

specific references to appropriate literary elements from the two works. You may use scrap paper to plan your 

response. Write your essay in Part B, beginning on page 7 of the essay booklet. 

Critical Lens: 

“All that is literature seeks to communicate power...” 

—Thomas De Quincey 

The Collected Writings of Thomas De Quincey, 1897 

Guidelines: 

Be sure to 

• Provide a valid interpretation of the critical lens that clearly establishes the criteria 

for analysis 

• Indicate whether you agree or disagree with the statement as you have interpreted it 

• Choose two works you have read that you believe best support your opinion 

• Use the criteria suggested by the critical lens to analyze the works you have chosen 

•Avoid plot summary. Instead, use specific references to appropriate literary 

elements (for example: theme, characterization, setting, point of view) to develop 

your analysis 

• Organize your ideas in a unified and coherent manner 

• Specify the titles and authors of the literature you choose 





Tear Here 


SESSION TWO 

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 — 1:15 to 4:15 p.m., only 

ANSWER SHEET 

Student . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sex: ■ Male ■ Female 

School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Grade . . . . . . . . . . . . . Teacher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

Write your answers to the multiple-choice questions for Part A on this answer sheet. 

Part A 

1 _______ 6 _______ 

2 _______ 7 _______ 

3 _______ 8 _______ 

4 _______ 9 _______ 

5 _______ 10 _______ 

HAND IN THIS ANSWER SHEET WITH YOUR ESSAY BOOKLET, 

SCRAP PAPER, AND EXAMINATION BOOKLET. 

Your essay responses for Part A and Part B should be written in the essay booklet. 

Tear Here 

I do hereby affirm, at the close of this examination, that I had no unlawful knowledge of the questions or answers prior to the examination and 

that I have neither given nor received assistance in answering any of the questions during the examination. 

Comp. Eng. — Session Two – Jan. ’06 [11] 

____________________________________________________________ 

Signature

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH SESSION TWO 

Tear Here 

Tear Here 

Comp. Eng. — Session Two – Jan. ’06 [12] 

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH SESSION TWO

SESSION TWO 

E 

FOR TEACHERS ONLY 



ENGLISH 

Wednesday, January 25, 2006— 1:15 to 4:15 p.m., only 

SCORING KEY AND RATING GUIDE 

Mechanics of Rating 

Updated information regarding the rating of this examination may be posted on the 

New York State Education Department’s web site during the rating period. Visit the site 

http://www.emsc.nysed.gov/osa/ and select the link “Latest Information” for any recently 

posted information regarding this examination. This site should be checked before the rating 

process for this examination begins and at least one more time before the final scores 

for the examination are recorded. 

The following procedures are to be used for rating papers in the Comprehensive 

Examination in English. More detailed directions for the organization of the rating 

process and procedures for rating the examination are included in the Information 

Booklet for Administering and Scoring the Comprehensive Examination in English. 

Scoring of Multiple-Choice Questions 

Indicate by means of a checkmark each incorrect or omitted answer to multiplechoice 

questions on the Session Two answer sheet; do not place a checkmark beside 

a correct answer. Use only red ink or red pencil. In the box provided under each 

part, record the number of questions the student answered correctly for that part. 

Transfer the number of correct answers for the Part A multiple-choice questions to 

the appropriate spaces in the box in the upper right corner of each student’s 

SESSION ONE answer sheet. 

Session Two 

Correct Answers 

Part A 

(1) 4 

(2) 3 

(3) 1 

(4) 2 

(5) 3 

(6) 1 

(7) 2 

(8) 4 

(9) 1 

(10) 3 

The University of the State of New York • THE STATE EDUCATION DEPARTMENT • Albany, New York 12234

COMPREHENSIVE ENGLISH — SESSION TWO — continued 

Rating of Essays 

(1) Follow your school’s procedures for training for rating. This process should include: 

Introduction to the task— 

• Raters read the task and summarize its purpose, audience, and format 

• Raters read passage(s) and plan own response to task 

• Raters share response plans and summarize expectations for student responses 

Introduction to the rubric and anchor papers— 

• Trainer reviews rubric with reference to the task 

• Trainer reviews procedures for assigning scores 

• Trainer leads review of each anchor paper and commentary 

(Note: Anchor papers are ordered from high to low within each score level.) 

Practice scoring individually— 

• Raters score a set of five papers individually 

• Trainer records scores and leads discussion until raters feel confident enough to move 

on to actual scoring 

(2) When actual rating begins, each rater should record his or her individual rating for a 

student’s essay on the rating sheet provided, not directly on the student’s essay or 

answer sheet. Do not correct the student’s work by making insertions or changes of any 

kind. 

(3) Each essay must be rated by at least two raters; a third rater will be necessary to resolve 

scores that differ by more than one point. The scoring coordinator will be responsible 

for coordinating the movement of papers, calculating a final score for each student’s 

essay, and recording that information on the student’s answer paper for Session One, 

and determining the student’s final score for the examination. The chart located on the 

Department’s web site should be used for determining the final examination score. 

[2]

SESSION TWO – PART A – SCORING RUBRIC 

READING AND WRITING FOR LITERARY RESPONSE 

QUALITY 







and text(s) 

6 


level: 

-establish a controlling 

idea that reveals an indepth 

analysis of both 

texts 


connections between the 

controlling idea and the 

ideas in each text 

5 


level: 


idea that reveals a 

thorough understanding 

of both texts 





4 


level: 


idea that shows a basic 

understanding of both 

texts 





3 


level: 


idea that shows a basic 


texts 




ideas in the texts 

2 


level: 


incomplete 


texts 

-make a few connections 

but fail to establish a 

controlling idea 






text(s) 





specific evidence and 

appropriate literary 

elements from both texts 


and consistently, with 

reference to relevant and 






with reference to 


evidence and 




using some evidence 

from the texts 

-may rely primarily on 

plot summary 











coherence 

-maintain the focus 

established by the 






transitions 


established by the 






transitions 






consistency 



focus 



include some 


irrelevancies 





organization 


























pacing 




and purpose 







or purpose 








purpose 








punctuation, 

paragraphing, 







language 









not hinder 

comprehension 













1 


level: 


evidence of textual 

understanding 


between the texts or 

among ideas in the texts 




organization 

-are minimal 


incoherent or 

inappropriate 


assessment of 




[3]


[4]


[5]


[6]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that childhood places can have a profound impact on … a 

person’s view of life. The response reveals an in-depth analysis of both texts, making insightful 

connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in each text (Whereas the first passage 

reveals … the magic of a special place and The setting of these stories … helps to explain 

certain sentiments about a location). 


evidence from the texts (tree which was killed by lightning, viewing a farm at night, John … 

has lived almost exclusively on a farm, the “magical” fog that she remembered). For both 

passages, the response shows how the authors’ use of literary elements (Point of view, setting, 

theme) develops how a special childhood place can impact a person’s life. 

Maintains the focus established by the controlling idea on how childhood places affect a 

person. The response exhibits a logical and coherent structure, using point of view, setting, and 

theme to organize ideas. The response makes skillful use of transitions (a very different image 

and The narration here) to connect ideas. 

Is stylistically sophisticated, using language that is precise and engaging (haunts of their 

childhood and a more mature perspective), with a notable sense of voice and awareness of 

audience and purpose. The response varies structure and length of sentences to enhance 

meaning (Although she “grieved as if it had been a person” when she was a child,… many years 

later). 


language. 


[7]


[8]


[9]


[10]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that reveals an in-depth analysis of both texts, stating that as 

people move on in life … strong memories of their youth stay with them as adults. The response 

makes insightful connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in Passage I (Even as 

she admires California’s beauty, the author misses her former home) and Passage II (John … is 

creating the memories which will stay with him always). 


evidence. The response discusses the author’s contrast of her present home with her childhood 

home in Passage I, which allows the author to reminisce about her childhood. For Passage II, 

the response emphasizes the author’s use of description and imagery that brings the reader into 

his “childhood place.” 

Maintains the focus on memories of childhood places established by the controlling idea. The 

response exhibits a logical and coherent structure, first discussing Passage I and an adult 

reminiscing about a childhood place and then contrasting that with a discussion of Passage II 

and a child creating future memories. Transitions and devices are skillfully used (Even living 

with, especially, not only … but also). 

Is stylistically sophisticated, using language that is precise and engaging (remembrance of one’s 

childhood and imparted to the reader), with a notable sense of voice and awareness of audience 

(allow the characters to share their experiences with the reader). Varied length of sentences 

enhances meaning (The author in these sections describes how a childhood home can never be 

replaced and Through revealing childhood memories … both characters convey messages 

about childhood places to the reader). 


language. 


[11]


[12]


[13]


[14]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that reveals a thorough understanding of both texts (A childhood 

place is filled with innocence and, as people grow up and change, they can look back 

nostalgically on it). The response makes clear and explicit connections between the controlling 

idea and the woman in Passage I who looks back on her home as she thinks about a place she 

has left and John in Passage II who has lived on the farm his whole life and can still find 

wonder and amazement in his childhood place. 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, with reference to relevant and specific evidence from 

both texts (she had to witness the death of her childhood place, she was forced to leave due to 

“the pain of racist oppression”, “He had learned to swim” (line 34) in the creek at the farm, 

John has only been away “at horse shows or with relatives). The response effectively weaves 

appropriate literary elements (personification, allusion, simile, and alliteration) into the 

development of the controlling idea. 

Maintains the focus established by the controlling idea. The response exhibits a logical 

sequence of ideas through use of appropriate devices (repetition of childhood place) and 

transitions (The woman in Passage I; In Passage II, John also; As both authors). The 

conclusion restates the focus (the authors show how important a childhood place is in capturing 

the memories and innocence of childhood). 

Uses language that is fluent and original, with evident awareness of audience and purpose (He 

continues to live there, but looks back nostalgically and connected his soul and body to the 

farm). The response varies structure and length of sentences to control rhythm and pacing (At 

13, this girl was faced with the reality of the world … leave her childhood place forever.) 


language. 



[15]


[16]


[17]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that reveals a thorough understanding of both texts, stating that 

childhood places had the power to stimulate our imaginations or to make us feel secure. The 

response makes clear and explicit connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in 

Passage I (the author looks upon an old pine as a sort of benevolent caretaker and the tree held 

that sense of security) and in Passage II (the place that held John’s imagination was the creek 

behind his farm and the security for John was provided by his farm). 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, with reference to relevant and specific evidence and 

appropriate literary elements from Passage I (the tree was personified as a sort of grandfather 

and from Passage II (he envisioned much more than the usual tadpoles and minnows). 

Maintains the focus established by the controlling idea on imagination and security. The 

response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, discussing first how childhood places stimulate 

our imaginations and then proceeding to a discussion of the other unifying factor of security. 

The response uses appropriate devices and transitions (For one, For another, Some … Others). 

Uses language that is fluent and original, with evident awareness of audience and purpose (the 

most mundane item and the tree was felled). The response varies structure and length of 

sentences to control rhythm and pacing (This was never directly stated), although it is less 

successful as it concludes (The author more alluded to this). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (conjur and 

immediatly) and punctuation (which the author claimed, warmed and imagination spurred to 

life). 


[18]


[19]


[20]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that reveals a thorough understanding of both texts, stating that 

certain sensations … can remind one of a childhood place and that such memories almost 

always bring feelings of warmth, security … love and naivety. The response makes clear and 

explicit connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in each text (the author’s 

memories of his Georgian home were triggered as he sat viewing the Northern Californian 

landscape and seeing shadows and outlines of his home in the darkness are what initiate the 

flow of more memories). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others, making reference to specific and relevant evidence 

and appropriate literary elements from Passage I (The fog, which he metaphorically compared 

to a dragon, a large pine tree … a true companion, his parents were both “rooted”). Passage II 

is less developed and is based on the faulty premise that the author is returning to the farm he 

was raised on. 

Maintains the focus established by the controlling idea on memories of a childhood place. The 

response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, discussing how the visual images in Passage I and 

then those in Passage II create … warm feelings. The conclusion is brief. Transitions are 

appropriately used (Lastly, Similar to Author I, also create). 

Uses language that is fluent and original (With each movement, the landscape was altered and 

both personified in his mind and in his writing), with evident awareness of audience and 

purpose. The response varies structure and length of sentences to control rhythm and pacing 

(This again shows how strongly he feels connected to his childhood home). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors only when using 

sophisticated language. 


in development. 

[21]


[22]


[23]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that shows a basic understanding of both texts, stating that a 

childhood place is something very special and is something you will never forget because of the 

lessons you learned while there. The response makes implicit connections between the 

controlling idea and the ideas in Passage I (she learned of love and also learned lessons of 

hatred) and in Passage II (John learned to swim and do normal kid stuff and John learned to 

appreciate the simple things about life). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others. The response uses specific and relevant evidence 

quoted from the texts to develop the idea of a child’s special place (“I am nostalgic for the land 

of my birth and “Water spiders skated … in your peripheral vision”). Appropriate literary 

elements from both texts are used (flashbacks and imagery). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on a childhood place. The response exhibits a logical 

sequence of ideas. The discussion of Passage I begins with the significance of the tree, then 

leads to the other memory of racist oppression. John is inaccurately described as returning to 

where he grew up and the subsequent paragraph includes a series of long quotations. 

Uses appropriate language that is sometimes informal (one place in your head, as a kid, 2nd 

passage, those crazy things), with some awareness of audience and purpose. The response 

occasionally makes effective use of sentence structure (The author loved the tree for its 

protection for her father when he was younger and for its generosity toward her). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (indured and reminises) 

and frequent errors in punctuation (one of, a childhood place; where you have been there is 

always; When looking back she remembers; in the dark he slowly; While John was at the creek 

he paints) that do not hinder comprehension. 


[24]


[25]


[26]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that shows a basic understanding of both texts (Everyone has a 

childhood place that they will always remember). The response makes implicit connections 

between the controlling idea and the ideas in Passage I (Alice loved the tree because of the 

kindness and security it had offered) and superficial connections to the ideas in Passage II (He 

… remembers how his cousins did not live on farms and … had plain lawns). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others. The response refers to specific and relevant 

evidence from Passage I (the tree and racial problems) and from Passage II (‘visits to cousins’). 

Discussion of the farm is brief. In Passage I, foreshadowing is discussed inaccurately as the 

appropriate literary element, based on an incorrect multiple-choice response. The discussion of 

simile in Passage II is taken from a multiple-choice question. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on memories of childhood places. The response exhibits 

a logical sequence of ideas, discussing each work separately. The paragraph devoted to John’s 

childhood place lacks internal consistency, relying on loosely connected information which 

does not lead to a conclusion. 

Uses appropriate language, with some awareness of audience and purpose (The tree that had a 

huge cavity in it is among the memories that she reveals to us). The response occasionally 

makes effective use of sentence structure and length (Alice is saddened by the memory of the 

tree because it was cut down after being struck by lightning). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (occurances, indured, 

occured), punctuation (Brer Rabbit she’s, childhood place he is reminded, the farms 

appearance), and proofreading (life would have if) that do not hinder comprehension. 


[27]


[28]


[29]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that shows a basic understanding of both texts, stating that while 

places may not be specific … children especially like to have a place to go to. The response 

makes implicit connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in both texts, noting that 

Passage one shows the intense relationship a person can have with a specific place and 

identifying that place as an old Pine. The response identifies setting in Passage II as different 

areas of a farm. 

Develops some ideas more fully than others, with reference to specific and relevant evidence 

and appropriate literary elements from both texts. Characterization and personification are 

identified and discussed briefly for Passage I in reference to the author’s attachment to the tree. 

Setting is less developed in the discussion of Passage II, with the response relying on quotes to 

simply present the different areas of the farm. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the importance of a childhood place wiether it is 

specific or not. The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, addressing first the specific 

place of Passage I and then the unspecific place of Passage II. The use of two concluding 

paragraphs with the second paragraph containing one sentence detracts from internal 

consistency. 

Uses appropriate language, with some awareness of audience and purpose (This shows that her 

childhood place still affects her after many years of her departure). The response occasionally 

makes effective use of sentence structure and length (This place was a tree). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (rabits and wiether) and 

punctuation (girls … attraction, She states “I cried, it’s generosity, authors mind, children 

however held) that do not hinder comprehension. 


[30]


[31]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that shows a basic understanding of both texts, stating that many 

people have a childhood place where they can escape from their normal everyday life. The 

response makes few and superficial connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in 

the texts (She discusses the experiences She had living there and all the good things that went 

on there and The author in passage two explains life on a farm as his childhood place). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some evidence from the texts (She became very close with a tree, 

When it was struck by lightning it really affected the author, He had fun learning how to swim 

and becoming one w/all of the animals on the farm). 

Establishes, but fails to maintain, an appropriate focus on childhood places that offer escape. 

The response exhibits a rudimentary structure, discussing each passage in separate paragraphs. 

The response is inconsistent, mentioning the topic of escape only in the introduction and 

conclusion but not in the passage discussions. 

Relies on basic vocabulary (There was a barn & farm buildings) that is sometimes informal 

(AtL to Cali) and imprecise (thinks didn’t turn out), with little awareness of audience (Passage 

one talks about). The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure and length for 

effect, but with uneven success (They all could escape there & be free Do the fun things that all 

children should experience). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in punctuation (in its trunk a fire, by 

lightning it really, mother Father & sister) and frequent use of the ampersand that do not hinder 




[32]


[33]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Establishes a controlling idea that shows a basic understanding of both texts, stating that as 

people grow up in life they seem to rember there childhood home and how everything looked or 

seem. The response makes superficial connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in 

the texts (In passage number one by Alice Walker she talks about how she misses her childhood 

home in georgia and then she goes on decribing the scenery and In passage number two the 

author talks about this farm and how things looked and how things differed at night). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some evidence from the texts. The response relies on references to 

decribitive sceneries for Passage I and on descriptions of the farm quoted from the text for 

Passage II. 

Establishes, but fails to maintain, an appropriate focus on childhood homes. The response 

exhibits a rudimentary structure with an introductory paragraph and a discussion of each 

passage in separate paragraphs. There is no conclusion. 

Relies on basic vocabulary, with little awareness of audience or purpose (Another one is that 

she decribes the forests). The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure or 

length for effect, but with uneven success (But in passage number two the author talks about 

this farm … and how thing looked in the morning and at night on the farm). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (rember, decribing, 

simle), punctuation (in life they, was a child she, grey smog, this is), capitalization (guilin and 

Author), and the omission of verb endings (seem and miss) that hinder comprehension. 


[34]


[35]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

The response: 

Commentary 

Establishes a controlling idea that shows a basic understanding of the texts, stating that your 

childhood carves out the image of how you want your life to become as you grow up. The 

response makes few connections between the controlling idea and the ideas in the texts, 

mentioning that Alice Walker moved up North to escape racism for Passage I and that the boy 

viewed other peoples lives in the city as more exciting for Passage II. There is no direct 

reference to “a childhood place.” 

Is largely undeveloped. The response hints at ideas, but references to the text are vague (he 

thinks about all of this), irrelevant (she found a nice home), repetitive (life on the farm to be 

boring and the author talks about how boring a life on the farm is), or unjustified (The author 

uses the literary technique of point of view for this). The reference to onomatopoeia reflects an 

incorrect response to a multiple-choice question. 

Establishes, but fails to maintain an appropriate focus on the controlling idea. The response 

exhibits a rudimentary structure with an introductory paragraph followed by a discussion of the 

passages and literary techniques and ending with a conclusion. 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is occasionally imprecise (Mostly everybody, were for “where”, 

sought for “thought”). The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure for effect, 

but with uneven success (She also talks about a tree which severed as her protector which is 

symbolism). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (memmories, every body, 

child hood), punctuation (them especially, older you see, others and she found, home now it, 

peoples lives), and proofreading (he for “her”) that do not hinder comprehension. 


stronger in conventions and somewhat weaker in development. 

[36]


[37]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused and incomplete understanding of the texts. While the response attempts to 

establish a controlling idea (Through out childhood there are many things that you see or do 

that you remember for the rest of your life), only brief and unsupported connections are made to 

one passage. 

Is incomplete and largely undeveloped. The response is based on personal information and on 

references to the texts that are unjustified (In passage One the girl remembers a place in 

Georgia … she could sit outside and watch the morning fog roll over the mountains and In 

passage two a girl remembers a place she loved, it was a big tree). 

Suggests a focus on childhood memories and suggests organization through paragraphing. The 

response attempts in the single body paragraph to connect Passages I and II to a personal 

recollection (Unlike passage one and two I go to my place every year). 

Relies on basic vocabulary, with little awareness of audience and purpose (Me, My Dad, and 

Brother have still been going there every summer). The response exhibits some attempt to vary 

sentence structure or length for effect, but with uneven success (I passage one she moved away 

and two the tree got struck by lightning). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (happend, durring, untill), 

punctuation (Maryland when I was younger, When we went we had, its usually), and 

capitalization (Me, My Mom, Dad, and Brother) that do not hinder comprehension. 



[38]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys an incomplete understanding of the texts by suggesting a controlling idea that the two 

kids had a special place they liked to go and spend time by themselves. The response makes few 

connections to the texts, mentioning a specific tree that she liked to go look at for Passage I and 

a pond that was on his farm for Passage II. 

Is incomplete and largely undeveloped, supplying only textual references to the tree and to the 

pond. The response makes the unjustified assertion that these kids … wanted to be alone from 

the hussle and bussle of the world. 

Suggests a focus on a special place in the first sentence and suggests some organization through 

an attempt to paragraph. The response has a one sentence conclusion. 

Uses language that is imprecise (to go and spend, to go look at, injoyed to go and see) or 

unsuitable (kids and hussle and bussle) for the audience or purpose. The response reveals little 

awareness of how to use sentences to achieve an effect. 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (injoyed, creaters, 

hussle, bussle) and punctuation (look at when; young he; farm, there) that hinder 




[39]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Conveys a confused and incomplete understanding of the task and texts. The response makes a 

few connections to the passages (the author in the first passage described her childhood with 

many nature and how pefect her childhood seem and In this passage the setting is the farm and 

it talks about how John reacts to the farm) but fails to establish a controlling idea. 

Is incomplete and largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the text are vague 

(Also the author gives great description of the Chinese painting and the fog she sees like the 

dragon and both authors used alot of descriptive words). 

Lacks an appropriate focus on childhood places. The response suggests some organization 

within its one paragraph by first speaking of these two passage, addressing Passage I and then 

Passage II, and forming a conclusion. 

Uses language that is imprecise for the audience and purpose (The author also being with the 

picture of fog and the end of fog). The response reveals little awareness of how to use sentences 

to achieve an effect (In the second passage, John who is the character and the farm). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in the omission of word endings 

(two passage, with many nature, her childhood seem, the author … explain, one childhood 

seem) that hinder comprehension. 



[40]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides minimal evidence of textual understanding. The response makes only cursory 

references to Passage I and Passage II. 

Is minimal, consisting of only three introductory sentences. 

Suggests a focus on nature but lacks organization. 

Is minimal. 




[41]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides minimal evidence of textual understanding. The response exhibits only general 

statements about how the person admires his / her surroundings. 

Is minimal, with no evidence of development beyond the general statements about a person’s 

reaction to his surroundings. 

Suggests a focus on surroundings but lacks organization. 

Is minimal. 




[42]


[43]


[44]


[45]


[46]


[47]


[48]

Part A — Practice Paper – D 

[49]


[50]


[51]













[52]

SESSION TWO – PART B – SCORING RUBRIC 

READING AND WRITING FOR CRITICAL ANALYSIS 

QUALITY 







and text(s) 

6 


level: 

-provide an interpretation 

of the "critical lens" that 

is faithful to the 

complexity of the 

statement and clearly 

establishes the criteria 

for analysis 

-use the criteria to make 

insightful analysis of the 

chosen texts 

5 


level: 

-provide a thoughtful 

interpretation of the 

"critical lens" that clearly 


for analysis 

-use the criteria to make 

a clear and reasoned 

analysis of the chosen 

texts 

4 


level: 

-provide a reasonable 


"critical lens" that 


for analysis 



criteria and the chosen 

texts 

3 


level: 

-provide a simple 


"critical lens" that 

suggests some criteria 

for analysis 

-make superficial 


criteria and the chosen 

texts 

2 


level: 

-provide a confused or 

incomplete interpretation 

of the "critical lens" 

-may allude to the 

"critical lens" but do not 

use it to analyze the 

chosen texts 






text(s) 









and consistently, with 

reference to relevant and 






with reference to specific 

and relevant evidence 

and appropriate literary 



using some evidence 

from the text 

-may rely primarily on 

plot summary 











coherence 


established by the critical 

lens 





transitions 


established by the critical 

lens 





transitions 






consistency 



focus 



include some 


irrelevancies 





organization 


























pacing 




and purpose 







or purpose 








purpose 








punctuation, 

paragraphing, 







language 









not hinder 

comprehension 













1 


level: 

-do not refer to the 

"critical lens" 

-reflect minimal or no 

analysis of the chosen 

texts 




organization 

-are minimal 


incoherent or 

inappropriate 


assessment of 




[53]


[54]


[55]


[56]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides an interpretation of the critical lens that is faithful to the complexity of the statement, 

explaining that the power, communicated through literature, is learning about oneself. The 

response uses the criteria to make an insightful analysis of To Kill a Mockingbird and “Dr. 

Heidegger’s Experiment,” illustrating how both works prove that through the questioning that 

goes on within the subconscious, one learns much about who they are. 


evidence about characters whose actions communicate insight to the reader (While many people 

lose their childhood open-mindedness, Atticus found … his beliefs and Heidegger used people 

who felt sorry … miserable in their old age). The response includes references to setting 

(southern town of Maycomb) and characterization of melancholy old creatures. 

Maintains the focus that when “literature” inspires imagination and inquisitiveness, it is truly a 

powerful and unique force. The response exhibits a logical and coherent structure, first 

comparing Scout’s curiosity and fresh imagination of a child to Atticus Finch’s childhood 

open-mindedness, and then presenting the steps in Doctor Heidegger’s experiment about human 

nature and its consequence. Transitions are skillfully used (Through internalizing the 

circumstances of others, Specifically, Once again). 

Is stylistically sophisticated, using language that is precise and engaging (unbridled curiosity, 

harboring the curiosity, squanders, revel in their youth), with a notable sense of voice. The 

response varies structure and length of sentences to enhance meaning (Atticus was different and 

When “literature” inspires imagination and inquisitiveness, it is truly a powerful and unique 

force). 


language. 


[57]


[58]


[59]


[60]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a thoughtful interpretation of the critical lens (This quote suggests that any work which 

is classified as “literature” has a purpose to transmit a powerful message or theme to the 

reader). The response uses the criteria to make a clear and reasoned analysis of the power of 

love in Ethan Frome and the amazing power of conscience in The Scarlet Letter. 


evidence about Ethan’s dilemma when he finds he is in love with his wife’s cousin and 

Dimmesdale’s attempts to keep his identity as the father a secret. The response integrates 

references to setting (Starkfield, Massachusetts and Puritan America), as well as imagery 

(fragile, beautiful girl who is surrounded by light), and also provides a detailed characterization 

of Dimmesdale (respected church official … respected by everyone in town). 

Maintains the focus on literature’s power. The response exhibits a logical and coherent structure 

by first contrasting Zeena (cold, sickly and unloving) and Mattie (bright and radiant). The 

response then contrasts Dimmesdale’s actions and his conscience (On several occasions he 

even inflicted physical pain … to supplement the emotional trauma that he was enduring), 

concluding that the “power” communicated in writing is crucial for the purpose of teaching the 

audience and for provoking thought. Transitions are skillfully used (His love is also, This 

literary work, Both are pieces). 

Is stylistically sophisticated, using language that is precise and engaging (dilemma, 

contemplates, curtail, depiction of the dark Zeena), with a notable sense of voice and awareness 

of audience and purpose. The response varies sentence structure to enhance meaning (His 

battles with his own conscience … toward Hester Prynne’s suffering). 


language. 


in meaning. 

[61]


[62]


[63]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a thoughtful interpretation of the critical lens that clearly establishes the criteria for 

analysis (Literature is as influential, and powerful, as any other form of communication 

because it leaves the reader with a message). The response uses the criteria to make a clear and 

reasoned analysis of Ethan Frome and The Bluest Eye, asserting that both works touch the 

reader on a personal level and leave him, in many cases, with a new outlook on life. 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, with reference to relevant and specific evidence, 

discussing literature’s message that good does not always prevail in the real world. The 

response uses appropriate literary elements of setting (is further indication of the desolation of 

the characters; the town is isolated, cold and bleak and the broken-down store … provides 

further insight into her tragic life) and characterization (Ethan … is young and intelligent and 

Pecola, a lonely black girl). 

Maintains the focus on novels that can leave a reader with a new way to see the world. The 

response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, first introducing the characters and their 

hardships, and then following with the realizations made by the reader. The conclusion (Books 

have the ability to touch … even in today’s modern world) further strengthens the response. 

Appropriate transitions are used (especially, both are, However). 

Uses language that is fluent and original (to contrast Pecola’s helpless desolation with Frieda’s 

strength and self-acceptance), with evident awareness of audience and purpose. The response 

varies structure and length of sentences to control rhythm and pacing (A foil between a happier 

couple … further illuminates the pain the protagonists must live with). 


language. 



[64]

Part Anchor A — Paper Practice – Part Paper B—Level – A 5 – B 

[65]


[66]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 


analysis (In both pieces, there is an underlying message/theme that is conveyed to the reader 

which, in turn, enhances the reader’s knowledge as a person). The response uses the criteria to 

make a clear and reasoned analysis of To Kill a Mockingbird (as you grow up, you lose the 

idealistic viewpoint of a child) and Macbeth (people can be cruel, immoral, and greedy when it 

pertains to self-success and social standing). 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, with reference to relevant and specific evidence from the 

texts to discuss how children gain the realistic views of an adult (Mrs. DuBose … achieve her goal 

and the trial of Tom Robinson) and the reality of human nature (Macbeth was cruel and He 

murdered Duncan). The response uses appropriate literary elements of setting (Maycomb, 

Alabama in the 1930’s and Scotland) and theme to support the discussion (people aren’t always 

who they seem to be). 

Maintains the focus established by the critical lens on how literature increases a reader’s selfknowledge. 

The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, first illustrating changes in Scout, 

Jem, and Dill who discover what “true courage” really is, then presenting Macbeth as a 

relentless, ruthless man, and finally connecting each example to the reader (This only strengthens 

the reader’s realization … who they seem). Appropriate transitions are used (In both pieces, This 

theme supports, As the reader, In conclusion). 

Uses language that is fluent and original (enhances, naive, albeit), with evident awareness of 

audience and purpose (As the reader … of use sometime in your lifetime). The response varies 

structure of sentences to control rhythm and pacing (On the outside, he appeared a friend, but on 

the inside … including Banquo, his best friend). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (subtely and 

liturature). 


[67]


[68]


[69]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 


analysis (all literature has an underlying message communicating power: either a shift in 

influence or a lack thereof). The response uses the criteria to make a clear and reasoned analysis 

of the chosen texts (the animals of the farm could make no distinction between their former 

owners, and the pigs and Edmund Dantes is able to take great vengeance … due to the power 

that he, himself had surely attained). 

Develops ideas clearly and consistently, with references to relevant and specific evidence from 

both texts. The response discusses symbolism (represents the struggle of the country of Russia 

in the early 20th century, exposing the affects of power and the evils of communism) and 

characterization (When he is finally able to escape, his goal in life is to take away all that those 

who plotted, had taken away from him) to explain shifts in power. 

Maintains the focus established by the critical lens on the theme of power in literature. The 

response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas presenting information about how the transfer of 

power brings about change, beginning with the pig’s control of the farm and its political 

symbolism and moving to Edmund Dantes’ use of his riches to punish others. The conclusion 

reiterates the critical lens. Transitions are used appropriately (Eventually, Another work, With 

the facts stated). 

Uses language that is fluent and original (is a stunning portrayal … unjustly imprisoned for 

over fourteen years), with evident awareness of audience and purpose. The response varies 

structure and length of sentences to control rhythm and pacing (Dumas is able to portray 

exactly how much power Edmund Dantes had attained by parelleling him to Jesus Christ). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (absolutly and 

accuratly). 


[70]


[71]


[72]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a reasonable interpretation of the critical lens that establishes the criteria for analysis 

(A novel can tell a story about a power struggle or be used to convey the author’s power of 

creation). The response makes implicit connections between the criteria and Hamlet (“Hamlet” 

obviously communicates power, not only in the reactions it causes, but also in … a struggle for 

power) and The Bluest Eye (Morrison invented her own world to help convey her message). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others. The response uses general examples of literary 

elements to support a discussion about the struggle for power in Hamlet (violent and dramatic 

plot, The play’s characterization … of Claudius and Hamlet, vivid imagery). The discussion of 

literary elements is more developed in the Bluest Eye (setting … forshadow future events; 

imagery of the white doll, blue eyes, and Shirley Temple cup; Dick and Jane stories). 

Maintains the focus on how literature can communicate power. The response exhibits a logical 

sequence of ideas with an introduction, a discussion of each work, a conclusion for each body 

paragraph with a sentence relating to the critical lens (This play strongly supports … power in 

the story and This shows the power … that Morrison embraced), and a summary conclusion. 

Appropriate devices and transitions (Either way, Two examples, also, In summation) are used. 

Uses appropriate language that is sometimes original (elicit gasps, depict, oppressive nature). 

The response occasionally makes effective use of sentence structure and length (The greatest 

power that literature provides is that of education). 

Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (forshadow) 

and comma use (stories, in order). 


stronger in organization and conventions. 

[73]


[74]


[75]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a reasonable interpretation of the critical lens that establishes the criteria for analysis, 

stating that it is the strength of literature to make a statement on the power of situation. The 

response makes implicit connections between the criteria and The Things They Carried (to 

express the power the war in Vietnam, or any war, held over the soldiers) and Fences (to 

display the power … in the inner city, during the midsection of the twentieth century). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others, with references to specific and relevant evidence 

from The Things They Carried to explain how the author’s confusing and inconsistant structure 

mirrors the soldier’s confusion in war. The response is less specific about the conflicts of inner 

city African Americans during the 1950’s. The discussion of literary devices is more specific, 

giving examples of characterization (inner conflict and moral indifference), sensory images, 

and symbolism (fences individuals put up within themselves). 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the idea that literature communicates power. The 

response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, presenting evidence from each work to support 

the chosen criteria (the power the war held over the soldiers and The events … would not have 

happened the same had “Fences” taken place anywhere else). The response concludes that both 

works convey the strong messages Wilson and O’Brien seek to depict. 

Uses appropriate language (inner conflict of war and enlightens the audience), with some 

awareness of audience and purpose (depicts to the reader). The response occasionally makes 

effective use of sentence structure and length (O’Brien appeals to the readers sences … is not 

soon to leave the reader). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (excersize, inconsistant, 

acheive) and punctuation (soldiers mangeled, cant, it’s) that do not hinder comprehension. 


[76]


[77]


[78]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a reasonable interpretation of the critical lens, stating when writers write a story they 

are not merely writing about people but … include a struggle between … ‘good and evil.’ The 

response makes implicit connections between the criteria and both texts (Atticus is on the 

‘good’ side … while the people of the town are on the side of ‘evil’ and Golding’s theme is that 

all people have animal instincts within them, but society holds these instincts in a dorment 

state). 

Develops some ideas more fully than others. The response provides specific evidence 

connecting the setting to the theme in To Kill a Mockingbird (this struggle is best seen … where 

the children are ridiculed at school because their father … is defending a black man), while the 

influence of the setting in Lord of the Flies is less specific (as time progresses on the island it 

becomes harder and harder to live and follow the … rules of society). The characterization of 

Atticus Finch includes his reasoning, while the characterization of Ralph is based on plot 

summary. 

Maintains a clear and appropriate focus on the critical lens, concluding the essay stating that the 

power struggle that exists between good and evil is one that will continue to be the focus of 

literature. The response exhibits a logical sequence of ideas, first interpreting the critical lens, 

next discussing the literary devices of setting, theme, and characterization in one paragraph for 

To Kill a Mockingbird and in another paragraph for Lord of the Flies. 

Uses appropriate language (This setting is extremely citical to the development of the book) that 

is occasionally imprecise (their for “there” and on the part of the black man), with some 

awareness of audience (Evil is within all of us). The response occasionally makes effecive use 

of sentence structure (Ralph, the leader of the good children … to … the leader of the hunters). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (actuall, alogations, 

univesitality) and punctuation (about people but, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee and the 

Lord of the Flies by, novels end) that do not hinder comprehension. 


[79]


[80]


[81]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a simple interpretation of the critical lens that suggests some criteria for analysis (This 

quote means that books and poems do infact influence people). The response makes superficial 

connections between the criteria and the chosen texts (love dominates everything and the only 

thing that matters is if you have confidence). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some evidence from the texts to explain a lesson contained in the 

theme of each text (This makes parents realize that you can’t controll your kids and Dont let 

anyone get in your way). The response includes plot summary and vague evidence from the 

texts to explain characterization (Their parents characterization was that they didn’t want them 

to marry and they don’t believe that he’s a good fisher). 

Establishes a clear and appropriate focus on the impact of literature on people’s lives in the 

introductory paragraph and maintains the focus, discussing Romeo and Juliet in the second 

paragraph (This theme … teaches people). The focus weakens in the third paragraph’s 

discussion of The Old Man and the Sea (go for your dream). The response exhibits a logical 

sequence of ideas by discussing theme and characterization for both texts and concluding by 

briefly linking both texts to the quote. 

Relies on basic vocabulary, with occasional imprecision (influences parents lives to let; this 

theme was a horrible, trajic love story; characterization from other people; come to find out) 

and little awareness of audience. The response exhibits uneven success in varying sentence 

structure (Literature influences peoples lives all the time … good way or bad). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (Shakespear, life styles, 

eachother, dissaproved), punctuation (Therefor by; wont; statement, The), and grammar (Books 

… quote is and everyones lives) that hinder comprehension. 



[82]


[83]


[84]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a simple interpretation of the critical lens that suggests some criteria for analysis (all 

works of art have power). The response makes superficial connections between the criteria and 

The Things They Carried (It draws the reader in … so they have some sort of understanding) 

and Fences (The books main purpose is to portray its power upon the reader and give an 

impact). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some evidence from the texts. The response discusses the effect of 

one battle image in The Things They Carried, but references to characterization in Fences are 

underdeveloped (A literary device used … is characterization). 

Establishes an appropriate focus on the power of literature to grasp the mind of the reader. The 

response exhibits a rudimentary structure with an introduction that links the power of literature 

to both texts, one paragraph for each text discussing how the author uses literary devices to 

affect the reader, and a brief conclusion restating that both texts are powerful and relate to the 

quote by De Quincey. 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is sometimes imprecise (was for “way” and give an impact) or 

repetitious (James O’Brien wrote this novel in a confusing was so that you would be confused 

… this portrays to the reader that the Vietnam war was confusing), with some awareness of 

purpose. The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure for effect, but with 

uneven success (Both novels … brought a great impact to the reader). 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in punctuation (interpretation are; 

The and books main purpose) and agreement (This touches the reader and gives them and The 

reader can compare their life) that do not hinder comprehension. 



[85]


[86]


[87]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a simple interpretation of the critical lens that suggests some criteria for analysis (in 

literature, through communication with characters, power is to be achieved). The response 

makes superficial connections between the criteria and power acquisition in The Giver (He 

retains all of the history of the town and this creates the most power) and “The Veldt” (the 

children devise a plan by communicating with each other to take over their parents). 

Develops ideas briefly, using some evidence from the texts to discuss literary devices (The 

point of view given in the novel is able to show the direct communication and The most 

important part of the setting was the computer programmed house). The response relies 

primarily on plot summary (The children used this rare element of setting to create the veldt). 

Establishes an appropriate focus on literary characters who gain power via communication, but 

loses focus in paragraph four, abruptly expressing disagreement with the quote. The response 

exhibits a rudimentary structure of introduction, body, and conclusion. 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is sometimes imprecise (The boy that is to now take over and 

the children seeked out to find power), with some awareness of audience (I disagree and I do 

not believe). There is little variety in sentence structure and length. 

Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors in punctuation (power …”.; town and; 

computer programmed house) and capitalization (african) that do not hinder comprehension. 



[88]


[89]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides an incomplete interpretation of the critical lens suggesting that all literature is trying 

to relay the message of power. The response alludes to the critical lens, but does not use it to 

analyze the chosen texts (the peral and Lost in yonkers). 

Is incomplete and largely undeveloped. The response hints at ideas, but references to the texts 

are vague (the father is struggling to keep power over his family and his treasure). 

Lacks an appropriate focus but suggests some organization. The response has an introductory 

paragraph, very brief references to two texts in separate paragraphs, and a contradictory 

concluding paragraph of one sentence. 

Relies on basic vocabulary, with little awareness of purpose. The response exhibits some 

attempt to vary sentence length (I agree … some sort of power message or struggle in it), but 

with uneven success. 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (the peral and some 

one), punctuation [(Thomas De Quincey) this; For example in; message, some deal], and 

capitalization (peral and yonkers) that hinder comprehension. 



[90]


[91]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides an incomplete interpretation of the critical lens (decisions to communicate against 

their will and tell their tale through acting). The response alludes to the critical lens but does 

not use it to analyze The Crucible and Of Mice and Men. 

Is largely undeveloped, hinting at ideas, but references to the texts are vague (he only acts his 

way through communications and George and Lennie are another example of communication). 

Lacks an appropriate focus on literature’s communication of power. The response suggests 

some organization through paragraphing. 

Uses language that is imprecise (communicate against their will and he only acts his way). The 

response reveals little awareness of how to use sentences to achieve an effect (power” this 

certainly true and for example … of accounts). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (wheather), punctuation 

(power” this, For example John, and Men characters), and grammar (this certainly true) that 

hinder comprehension. 



[92]


[93]


Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a confused interpretation of the critical lens. The response alludes to the critical lens 

(The two book are conflict with problems and sick things) but does not use it to analyze the 

chosen texts, Ethan Frame and The Jungle. 

Is incomplete and largely undeveloped. The response hints at ideas, but references to the texts 

are vague and confused (He Dad were dead and He was sad about them and There life was 

worsting during in chicago). 

Lacks an appropriate focus but suggests organization. The response contains an introductory 

paragraph and makes brief references, in separate paragraphs, to the texts, but has no 

concluding paragraph. 

Uses basic language that is imprecise (When the fathe dieded the sister came to Ethan Home 

and They came poor). The response reveals little awareness of how to use sentences to achieve 

an effect. 

Demonstrates lack of control, exhibiting frequent errors in spelling (communicte, manipulted, 

injurys), grammar (He Dad and the worst it gotten Zeena), capitalization (chicago), usage (I 

agree to the statement and during in chicago), and the omission of word endings that make 

comprehension difficult. 


[94]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides an incomplete interpretation of the critical lens (This critical lense means to me 

everything that you read communicates power). The response makes no reference to any 

specific texts. 

Is minimal, reiterating the idea that the reader will get something or learn something valuable 

from literature, but with no evidence of textual development. 

Lacks an appropriate focus but suggests some organization. The response introduces the lens, 

stating that literature is just a source of knowledge, and summarizes in a concluding paragraph 

(I agree with this quote because every little thing you read you get a message or you get 

something from it). 

Relies on basic vocabulary that is sometimes imprecise (peace for “piece”), with little 

awareness of purpose. The response exhibits some attempt to vary sentence structure, but with 

uneven success (Regardless on what it is you seek communication power). 

Demonstrates emerging control, exhibiting occasional errors in spelling (lense) and usage 

(Regardless on) that do not hinder comprehension. 

Conclusion: Although the response fits criteria for Levels 1, 2 and 3, it remains at Level 1 

because the response makes no reference to any text. 

[95]



Quality 

Meaning 

Development 

Organization 

Language Use 

Conventions 

Commentary 

The response: 

Provides a confused and incomplete interpretation of the critical lens (It can change a person’s 

way of life from their power). The response alludes to the critical lens but does not use it to 

analyze Cetcer Rye. 


Suggests a focus on the value of literature (can be men different things in life emotionelly and 

mentelly) but lacks organization. 

Is minimal. 



stronger in meaning and organization. 

[96]


[97]


[98]


[99]


[100]


[101]


[102]


[103]


[104]


[105]


[106]














Regents Comprehensive Examination in English 

Map to Learning Standards 

Key Ideas 

Listening and writing for 

information and understanding 

Reading and writing for 

information and understanding 

Reading and writing for literary 

response 

Reading and writing for critical 

analysis and evaluation 

Part of Test 

Session One – Part A 

Session One – Part B 

Session Two – Part A 

Session Two – Part B 

[107]

The Chart for Determining the Final Examination Score for the January 2006 Regents 

Examination in Comprehensive English will be posted on the Department’s web site 

http://www.emsc.nysed.gov/osa/ on Wednesday, January 25, 2006. Conversion charts 

provided for previous administrations of the Regents Examination in Comprehensive 

English must NOT be used to determine students’ final scores for this administration. 

[108]

Total 

Essay 

Score 

 

Total Multiple-Choice Score 

Regents Comprehensive Examination in English—January 2006 

Chart for Determining the Final Examination Score (Use for January 2006 examination only.) 

To determine the student’s final examination score, locate the student’s total essay score across the top of the chart and the student’s total 

multiple-choice score down the side of the chart. The point where those two scores intersect is the student’s final examination score. For example, a 

student receiving a total essay score of 19 and a total multiple-choice score of 16 would receive a final examination score of 76. 

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 

0 0 1 1 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 

1 1 1 2 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 

2 1 1 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 

3 1 2 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 

4 1 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 

5 2 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 

6 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 

7 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 

8 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 

9 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 

10 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 

11 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 

12 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 

13 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 

14 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 

15 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 

16 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 

17 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 

18 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 

19 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 

20 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 

21 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 96 

22 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 97 

23 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 96 98 

24 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 97 99 

25 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 96 98 99 

26 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 97 99 100

Total 

Essay 

Score 

 

Total Multiple-Choice Score 

Regents Comprehensive Examination in English—January 2006 

Chart for Determining the Final Examination Score (Use for January 2006 examination only.) 

To determine the student’s final examination score, locate the student’s total essay score across the top of the chart and the student’s total 

multiple-choice score down the side of the chart. The point where those two scores intersect is the student’s final examination score. For example, a 

student receiving a total essay score of 19 and a total multiple-choice score of 16 would receive a final examination score of 76. 

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 

0 0 1 1 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 

1 1 1 2 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 

2 1 1 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 

3 1 2 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 

4 1 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 

5 2 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 

6 2 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 

7 2 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 

8 2 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 

9 2 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 

10 3 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 

11 3 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 

12 4 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 

13 5 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 

14 6 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 

15 7 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 

16 8 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 

17 9 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 

18 10 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 

19 11 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 

20 13 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 

21 14 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 96 

22 16 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 97 

23 17 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 96 98 

24 19 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 97 99 

25 21 24 28 31 35 39 43 47 51 55 59 62 66 70 73 77 80 84 86 89 92 94 96 98 99 

26 22 26 30 33 37 40 45 49 53 57 60 65 68 71 76 79 82 85 88 90 93 95 97 99 100

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