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herlife | spotlight Andréa Demirjian t h e k i s s i n g e x p e r t by ann e. butenas “I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” Who could forget that classic line from Bull Durham, sensually and directly uttered by Kevin Costner? And when it comes to kisses, celebrated author Andréa Demirjian knows all about such kisses…and then some! Her hit book, Kissing—Everything You Wanted to Know About Life’s Sweetest Pleasures, takes an analytical scoring of her own personal accounts and magically transforms them into kissable tales of wonder, lust, love and heartfelt emotions to which many of us can relate and for which many of us pine. This New York City native, graduate of Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs and former advertising executive who has spent the last 12 years consulting her own clients, recalled how she accidentally on purpose became the author of such an engaging title. “If you had ever told me that I would write a book about kissing, I would never have believed it,” she recounted. “However, this book just came about after an amazing and unexpected kiss that led to some silly introspection on my part. It was as if that single kiss awakened the Sleeping Beauty within, reawakening my spirit and restoring my confidence.” That reawakening led her to pursue the quest of her romantic side while indulging her analytical side. She began to keep a spreadsheet of her kissing activity, but such precision for an otherwise emotional act was nothing new for this ambitious woman. And setting the stage for obtaining a kiss began years before she had scribed her book. “When I was in seventh grade, Spin the Bottle was popular,” she laughed. “Before the night of a particular party, I would draw up a floor plan where the party would be and designate make-out points where my friends and I would kiss the boys.“ Her calculated spreadsheet, then, came as no surprise to those who know her well. “I had columns on the sheet for the person I kissed, his age, hair color, eye color, how he was dressed, his profession, political preference and even who made the first move,” Andréa explained. “It was very detailed and highly insightful.” “If you had ever told me that I would write a book about kissing, I would never have believed it. However, this book just came about after an amazing and unexpected kiss that led to some silly introspection on my part.” It was very fascinating, too, and when she showed this spreadsheet to friends, they saw things in it that Andréa didn’t, or, no pun intended, had failed to read between the lips! “My friends saw trends and patterns in my kissing behavior,” she said. “This led to further insight into the process that allowed me to objectively learn something about myself. For example, when I was younger, I favored darker skinned, darker-haired men, but as I got older, I seem drawn to fairer-haired and fairer-skinned men.” Self-indulgent folly or fodder for a great book? Yes…and yes. Andréa figured she had stumbled upon a unique opportunity to teach others to analyze their kissing behaviors. While she initially considered crafting an article to pitch to various magazines, she broadened her thinking and decided she had enough to write a book, one that is not only academic in nature but is tempered by a very frivolous and fun ambiance. 40 HERLIFEnewyork.com
So, her quest began. She pursued the idea in 2002 and worked on it, gathering various data and studying the physiology of kissing, eventually pitching the idea to agents. By February 2005, she struck a deal. While this book primarily appeals to women, the guys love it, too, and her research included interviews with men about what they want. “What men want is really not much different from what women want,” explained Andréa. “They want to feel loved and desired, too. Men possess an equal degree of sentimentality once you get them to think about it. They will recall special moments, such as their first date or the kiss at the altar.” Kissing has been around for centuries, and it shows no sign of disappearing anytime soon. Sometimes, even a little dab’ll do ya! “Go for that spontaneous grab in the morning,” Andréa encourages. “Give “Go for that spontaneous grab in the morning. Give your partner something to think about during the day. Just because a relationship is not new doesn’t mean it has to be stale. Keep it alive with the excitement of unexpected kisses or lingering pauses on the lips.” your partner something to think about during the day. Just because a relationship is not new doesn’t mean it has to be stale. Keep it alive with the excitement of unexpected kisses or lingering pauses on the lips. Kissing is an intense and intimate connection. People crave that. Even as we age, our spirit still longs for such emotional expression.” When we are born, hopefully all of us are lavished with kisses from admiring relatives. As we approach our final chapter, sometimes a kiss is the last touch we will feel from a loved one. Then there are all of the kisses in between our first and last breath. Those are the ones that create such memorable experiences. Never give a kiss simple lip service. Instead, in the words of the author, “Kiss with enthusiasm and respect. Kiss with abandon and no regret. Kiss knowing each one counts towards something. And forever be in quest of kissing.” And once you have completed this kissing journey, Andréa promises another book on the horizon soon. As for what it will deliver, well, you’ll just have to wait and see. After all, I don’t kiss and tell! ■ Kissing—Everything You Wanted to Know About Life’s Sweetest Pleasures is available on amazon.com. Photo: Leif Zurmuhlen FUNKY DESIGNS FOR THE BODY AND THE HOME 229 LARK STREET, ALBANY, NY 518 432-7090 • www.ehdesigns.com I HAVE LOTS OF GREAT GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR VALENTINE— JEWELRY, SCARVES, STAINED GLASS , POTTERY AND HANDMADE CARDS 20% OFF ONE REGULARLY PRICED ITEM WHEN YOU MENTION THIS AD HERLIFEnewyork.com 41
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keeping women connected - HERLIFE Magazine

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