migrant women in the United Arab Emirates

ut at a high price. One respondent, who had been working in the same place for 14 years,
recollected the early adjustment challenges she had faced:
“When I first came, I used to always cry. My employer said that I was not the type
to survive the challenges and stay. Everything was different for me. I wanted to leave,
but I could not afford the ticket. After six months, things started to get easier” (#13). A
foreign female domestic worker from Sri Lanka attributed the hardships of adjustment to
the reality of being in two places at the same time: “Adjustment is very hard. It seems
we do not adjust as much as we force ourselves to live in two different places. This make
us very confused, and [therefore, we] cannot do things right. Sometimes, I spoil the food,
especially when I get letters from my family. My employers are very understanding”
(#45).
Emotional Difficulties
Most of the foreign female domestic workers in the sample reported having difficulty
in adjusting emotionally to the separation from families and loved ones. However, most of
the foreign female domestic workers had made tremendous adjustment efforts, retained a
positive attitude and were determined to achieve what they had come for. However, some
respondents actually seemed desperate and unable to survive. One of these felt that she
needed immediate help, stating that if she remained in her employer’s house, she would
probably die (#42).
The mother-child relationship is one of the strongest of interpersonal relationships,
resisting physical separations of all types 16 . However, the modern pattern of female labour
migration for domestic employment seems to be breaking even these bonds. Mothers
initially submit to this separation for the very sake of their children, but part of the price
they pay is guilt.
One foreign female domestic worker stated, “I feel guilty about having them. Guilty because I do not see
them growing up by my side. Guilty because I cannot teach them the good things of life” (#29). Another
Filippina was very troubled by the fact that she had to leave her only son behind and migrate with his
father to the Gulf region to secure their future family life: “How I do it, I do not know. Sometimes, I try
not to think of him. Sometimes, I cannot help but think of him intensely. It is very hard. All I think of is
when we finish the house and live there” (#3).
Missing their children or feeling guilty about leaving them behind is not the only problem. Some foreign
female domestic worker s leave their children behind without even knowing if they are getting the daily
care they need or if the person in charge of them is really capable. An Indian foreign female domestic
worker, who had to leave her children with her old mother, was constantly worried about whether the
latter was giving them the real care they needed, like sending them to school daily or giving them enough
food (#4). Other foreign female domestic workers, especially those with daughters in the home country,
live in constant fear of their children being raped or sexually abused. A Sri Lankan foreign female
domestic worker, who had left her now 13 year-old daughter behind, was afraid that her daughter would
be raped as her sister had been. This foreign female domestic worker said, “Everybody sends me letters to
tell me how beautiful she is. I worry about her. In my country, drunk males attack houses, especially if
they know that some members work in the Gulf. I am working hard and saving her lots of money, but I
hope it is worth it” (#8).
Communication Difficulties
Language is an adjustment difficulty that some foreign female domestic workers face.
First, the foreign female domestic worker themselves are very diverse ethnically and
linguistically. Secondly, they have migrated to a country that has more non-nationals living
and working in it than indigenous people. This makes linguistic diversity a challenge for
United Arab Emirates household members, as well as for foreign female domestic workers.
16 Even during slavery and serfdom, mothers kept their children until they reached a certain age, at which point
they became adult slaves themselves.
UAE Working Paper_1 21