St. Conleth's Parish Newbridge - Newbridge Parish

To accompany our theme of The Gathering we are including this essay by
Barbara Scully first heard on Sunday Miscellany in May. It features the
thoughts of a mother whose daughter has emigrated to Australia and will I
think resonate with many parents in a similar situation. Ed.
Till the next time...
“Well, that’s about it I suppose.... no
more news.”
I hate these words as they usually signal
that our conversation on Skype is coming
to its natural conclusion. Except that
there is nothing natural about Skype.
It’s contrived and forced and virtual.
It’s the best thing we have when we are
9,000 miles apart but it’s not real.
We finally hang up... after the lengthy
‘bye so, ok bye, ok love you, ok bye, bye,
bye’ thing we do, as my cursor hovers
over the red ‘hang up call’ button on
screen. Then there’s that horrible noise
that sounds like something being sucked
down a drain and she’s gone.
The picture of her, dressed in her pink
PJs lying on her bed stays with me as I
imagine her jumping up to head off to
brush her teeth. A few moments later
and she will return to climb into bed
under the lightest of cotton sheets, her
beloved black cat settling down beside
her. I sit staring at my laptop and curse
that yet again I have nothing interesting
in for lunch.
Then I curse the bloody weather and
freezing temperatures, I curse Enda
Kenny and his entire cabinet, I curse
Fianna Fail before them and finally curse
the gaping huge distance that separates
me from my first born. I allow myself a
few minutes to wallow in the frustration
of not being able to give her a hug..... or
to receive one of hers. I desperately want
to be able to smell her hair and wonder
at glow of her beautiful skin. I want to
feel the air around her shimmer as she
laughs. I want to savour the sound as it
falls all around me.
Then I get cross with myself for feeling
sorry for myself when I know so many
in this country are suffering fates much
worse than mine.
I bang cups and plates around in the
kitchen and the dog looks at me with
his doleful eyes, sensing that there is
violence and anger bubbling gently
somewhere just beyond his perception.
I make a cup of tea and sit at my kitchen
table. The dog settles at my feet. And
for the hundredth time I realise that right
now what I want more than anything
else is to have her sit opposite me and to
talk rubbish and gossip and giggle. Hell,
I would even take an argument with her
if it meant being able to share her space,
to be in her energy.
I want to look around me and see the
imprint of her life in mine. A handbag
here, a scarf there, shoes abandoned
by the front door. I miss her always,
but sometimes
desperately.
She is probably
sleeping now in the
heat of the Perth
night, under the
languid movement of
a ceiling fan. I think
of all the nights when
she was little and I
would check her
room before I retired
to bed. Bending
down to stroke her
hair and pull the
duvet up higher.
I didn’t know then
how precious those
days were. Perhaps
it’s just as well.
I don’t know when I will see her again
and perhaps that also is just as well.
Because right now all that is keeping me
sane is the vague hope that somehow, in
the not too distant future, the possibility
of making the trip to the other side of
the world will suddenly reveal itself.
I drain my tea. “Come on dog, let’s go
for a walk”. The pain has passed. Till
the next time.
Barbara Scully
Youngs Life Pharmacy who celebrated
125 years in business in May
David & Mary Young, and Winnie Clegg, enjoying the
Celebrations. Photos. Jimmy Fullam.
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