News Letter Oct-Nov 2012 - Parents Centres New Zealand Inc

The third month of Fatherhood
In the third month of fatherhood you begin to hope
for a “routine” to be established for your baby. But
that’s not always the case! It doesn’t mean anything
is “wrong” with your baby or that you and
your wife are not doing things right. Babies take a
long time to adjust to being in the outside world.
Remember for nine months your baby’s every
need was met on demand. Eating, sleeping, all
bodily functions were met immediately and without
any effort while inside the womb. Over the last
two months your baby has been learning how to
communicate their needs to you. Needs they don’t
even understand themselves.
Dad’s at this time often hit the “exhaustion point.”
The unpredictability of the nights is usually the
toughest. Not getting a continual nights sleep
leaves many new fathers feeling spent and fatigued.
Along with being physically overtired, new
dad’s need to recognise how emotionally weary
they have become making all the adjustments to
their new life style. I remember feeling when we
went out as a family; it was my wife, our baby and
their pack animal, me...carrying all the stuff, we
now needed to take with us.
At three months the roles of mother and father
can become polarised. Dad spending less time with
baby and mum spending more. Dads may feel they
can’t calm the baby as easy as their wife/partner
probably can. Research has shown that whoever,
mum or dad, spends more time with baby gets to
know their needs better. But is also clear that babies
need both their father and mother.
Your baby is now learning that your hands are larger
and hold him differently than does his mums.
Fathers’ clothes feel different and he has a different
smell than mother. He can feel the differences
of your skin and recognise the differences in your
voice. These experiences, that there are two different
kinds of people in the world that both care
for him and love him is very important. We now