Borderline - DEAN AMORY

Ten Guidelines for Families, Partners and Friends
If you are a family member, partner or friend of someone with borderline disorder, you
probably have developed feelings of anger and resentment towards them that conflict with
your feelings of empathy and desire to help. The following are ten specific actions that you
can take that will help the person with borderline disorder gain better control over her or his
life, and help you in the process.
1. Learn About the Disorder
It is essential to understand that
the person with borderline
disorder is suffering from an
illness that is as real as
diabetes, heart disease, or
hypertension. For most people,
physical symptoms are easier to
accept as indications of a
disease than are behavioral
symptoms. However, there is
no reason to assume that a
complex organ such as the
brain is less susceptible to
diseases that affect behavior
than are other bodily organs that result in physical symptoms. Recently developed medical
research studies demonstrate abnormal brain structure and function in patients with borderline
disorder, thus confirming this conclusion.
It is also helpful to realize that persons with borderline
disorder did not acquire the disorder through any actions of
their own, nor do they enjoy having the disorder. Imagine
what it must be like to feel that you are frequently at the
mercy of forces within you, over which you seem to have
little control, and that cause you extreme emotional pain
and significant life problems.
Therefore, a critical first step in the process of helping them
and you is to learn as much as you can about the symptoms
and nature of borderline disorder, and the specific
situational causes of acute episodes in the member of your
family with the disorder.