Borderline - DEAN AMORY
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Illness (NAMI) or the National Education Alliance for <strong>Borderline</strong> Personality Disorder (NEA-<br />
BPD). If such an organization exists in or near your community, seriously consider joining it.<br />
You will then have available to you a large amount of new information about borderline<br />
disorder, what you can do to help the member of your family with the disorder and yourself,<br />
and compassionate and understanding support in your efforts. If there is not a group in your<br />
area, consider starting one with other family members you have met. Also consider joining<br />
one of these national consumer organizations for borderline disorder.<br />
9. Remember: the Person with <strong>Borderline</strong> Disorder Must Take Charge<br />
Remember that it is primarily the responsibility of the person with borderline disorder to take<br />
charge of her or his behavior and life. Although difficult at times, it is important for you to<br />
provide the opportunity for your family member with borderline disorder to take reasonable<br />
risks in order to try new behaviors. It is also important that you help her or him to be<br />
accountable for the consequences of old, destructive behaviors.<br />
Excessive dependency on family and friends is not helpful in the long run. Beware of the<br />
tendency of people with borderline disorder to act at the extremes. For example, the proper<br />
alternative to excessive dependency is not immediate, total independency. The more<br />
appropriate responses are to remain engaged and to gradually help move to a more balanced,<br />
mature relationship level of mutual interdependency.<br />
10. Take Care of Yourself<br />
If you take the time to meet your own needs, when your help is needed most, you will be best<br />
able to provide it. Remember that you cannot save your loved one with borderline disorder on<br />
your own.<br />
If you are the parent, there is a natural tendency to focus much of your attention on the person<br />
with borderline disorder. However, make certain that you are not neglecting your other sons<br />
and daughters who may appear to be doing well. They have need of your time and attention<br />
too, even as they grow into adulthood. You will learn from educational experiences the extent<br />
of this potential problem and how best to deal with it.
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