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Migration Processes in Central and Eastern Europe - Multiple Choices

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<strong>Migration</strong> through Gender, Age <strong>and</strong> Class Perspectives<br />

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40<br />

I assume that even if fathers fulfill the responsibilities<br />

of material care for children, mak<strong>in</strong>g sure that they are<br />

not hungry <strong>and</strong> that they have clean clothes etc., they are<br />

not socialised to give enough <strong>in</strong>timacy <strong>and</strong> emotional care<br />

for their children. It appears that, especially dur<strong>in</strong>g the first<br />

months after their mother's move, children may experience<br />

psychological distress, which can later transform <strong>in</strong>to a feel<strong>in</strong>g<br />

that someth<strong>in</strong>g is miss<strong>in</strong>g from their life.<br />

CHILDREN LEFT BEHIND<br />

On the basis of my <strong>in</strong>terviews I have discovered<br />

that most children of my <strong>in</strong>terviewees became more <strong>in</strong>dependent<br />

<strong>and</strong> mature after their mother's migration to Italy.<br />

First of all, they become <strong>in</strong>volved <strong>in</strong> household activities,<br />

shar<strong>in</strong>g, along with their fathers, some of their mother's<br />

previous responsibilities, or tak<strong>in</strong>g them over completely if<br />

they were left alone.<br />

Children left beh<strong>in</strong>d, especially those without the<br />

support of their fathers <strong>and</strong> other members of the extended<br />

family, often start to underst<strong>and</strong> that they can rely only on<br />

themselves, beg<strong>in</strong> mak<strong>in</strong>g decisions <strong>and</strong> become more selfreliant.<br />

At the same time some of my <strong>in</strong>terviewees <strong>in</strong>dicated<br />

that their children also became more sensitive, <strong>and</strong> got<br />

aggrieved <strong>and</strong> started to cry <strong>in</strong> reaction to the slightest<br />

comments or remarks. In addition, some of my <strong>in</strong>terviewees<br />

said that their children needed to be controlled <strong>and</strong><br />

because of the lack of control started to have problems at<br />

school.<br />

challenges the images of fathers <strong>and</strong> mothers <strong>in</strong> Ukra<strong>in</strong>ian<br />

families <strong>and</strong> reveals gender roles <strong>in</strong> the family, especially<br />

the <strong>in</strong>visible emotional work, usually done by women.<br />

In Ukra<strong>in</strong>e, it is most often the fathers who take<br />

over household responsibilities. I argue that there is a shift<br />

<strong>in</strong> family roles with<strong>in</strong> the Ukra<strong>in</strong>ian transnational families.<br />

Whilst work<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> Italy as domestics, women become the<br />

ma<strong>in</strong> breadw<strong>in</strong>ners <strong>and</strong> their husb<strong>and</strong>s take over household<br />

responsibilities <strong>and</strong> car<strong>in</strong>g for children. In contrast to<br />

the popular argument about husb<strong>and</strong>s' failure <strong>in</strong> perform<strong>in</strong>g<br />

women's work <strong>in</strong> the household, <strong>in</strong> the cases of my<br />

<strong>in</strong>terviewees, men performed women's previous responsibilities<br />

quite successfully.<br />

At the same time, it seems that fathers failed to<br />

perform all the <strong>in</strong>visible emotional work that women usually<br />

do, <strong>and</strong> <strong>in</strong> many cases did not give enough love <strong>and</strong> <strong>in</strong>timacy<br />

to their children. This can be expla<strong>in</strong>ed <strong>in</strong> relation to<br />

the social construction of motherhood <strong>in</strong> Ukra<strong>in</strong>e, where<br />

the biological mother is seen as the only caregiver <strong>and</strong> the<br />

keeper of the family hearth. Fathers are socialised <strong>in</strong> a way<br />

that excludes them from the process of car<strong>in</strong>g for their children<br />

<strong>and</strong>, as a result, fathers left beh<strong>in</strong>d may lack the necessary<br />

skills for personal communication with them.<br />

Therefore children may experience emotional distress, lack<br />

of encouragement, praise, love <strong>and</strong> warmth. Such f<strong>in</strong>d<strong>in</strong>gs<br />

also support the argument that separation from a mother<br />

who goes to work abroad, often has a negative impact on<br />

children's emotional state.<br />

Dur<strong>in</strong>g my absence my son got spoiled <strong>and</strong> did<br />

much worse <strong>in</strong> school. After I came back from Italy<br />

his teachers compla<strong>in</strong>ed that he did not respect anybody,<br />

came unprepared for the classes <strong>and</strong> frequently<br />

had conflicts with teachers <strong>and</strong> other pupils.<br />

(Lena, married, thirteen-year-old son)<br />

Although children usually become more <strong>in</strong>dependent,<br />

there seems to be the threat that children can become<br />

too relaxed <strong>and</strong> not <strong>in</strong>terested <strong>in</strong> study<strong>in</strong>g or '<strong>in</strong>vest<strong>in</strong>g' <strong>in</strong><br />

the future. Instead, they prefer to rely on the mother, who is<br />

always ready to support them f<strong>in</strong>ancially. Accord<strong>in</strong>g to one<br />

of my <strong>in</strong>terviewees, who worked for forty years as a schoolteacher,<br />

<strong>in</strong> some cases the children left beh<strong>in</strong>d start to use<br />

alcohol <strong>and</strong> drugs. In addition, it seems that problems with<br />

study<strong>in</strong>g can be connected, not only with the lack of<br />

parental control, but also with the lack of praise, encouragement<br />

<strong>and</strong> support from the father.<br />

CONCLUSION<br />

The ma<strong>in</strong> question of this paper was: How does<br />

the domestic work of Ukra<strong>in</strong>ian women <strong>in</strong> Italy affect their<br />

family life <strong>in</strong> Ukra<strong>in</strong>e? I argued that the fact that Ukra<strong>in</strong>ian<br />

women work as domestics abroad rearranges family life,<br />

Olha Yarova<br />

The author obta<strong>in</strong>ed an MA <strong>in</strong> Gender Studies<br />

at the <strong>Europe</strong>an <strong>Central</strong> University <strong>and</strong> currently<br />

works as a social counsellor with refugees <strong>in</strong><br />

Kiev for Rokada, which is partner organisation<br />

of the UNHCR. She can be contacted at:<br />

sonyachna19@yahoo.com.<br />

BIBLIOGRAPHY<br />

•• Constable, N. (1997). Maid to order <strong>in</strong> Hong Kong: Stories<br />

of Filip<strong>in</strong>a workers. Ithaca, N.Y.: Cornell University Press.<br />

•• Domestic women migrant workers (oral statement) <strong>in</strong><br />

United Nations Commission on Human Rights 60th<br />

Session, UN Geneva 15 March – 23 April 2004. Available<br />

at http://www.franciscans<strong>in</strong>ternational.org/docs/statement.php?id=254<br />

•• Erel, U. (2002). Reconceptualiz<strong>in</strong>g motherhood:<br />

Experiences of migrant women from Turkey liv<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong><br />

Germany, 127-147. In D. Bryceson <strong>and</strong> U. Vuorela (Eds.),<br />

The transnational family: New <strong>Europe</strong>an frontiers <strong>and</strong> global<br />

networks. Oxford <strong>and</strong> New York: Berg.<br />

<strong>Migration</strong> <strong>Processes</strong> <strong>in</strong> <strong>Central</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>Eastern</strong> <strong>Europe</strong>: Unpack<strong>in</strong>g the Diversity

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