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44 Improve your Communication Skills Manage this conversation with care. Make it clear that this is not decision time. Encourage the other person to give you ideas. Take care not to judge or criticise. Do challenge or probe what the other person says. In particular, manage the emotional content of this conversation with care. Acknowledge people’s feelings and look for the evidence that supports them. A conversation for opportunity (‘supply’) A conversation for opportunity takes us into second-stage thinking. This is fundamentally a conversation about planning. Many good ideas never become reality because people don’t map out paths of opportunity. A conversation for opportunity is designed to construct such a path. You are choosing what to do. You assess what you would need to make action possible: resources, support and skills. This conversation is more focused than a conversation for possibility: in choosing from among a number of possibilities, you are finding a sense of common purpose. A conversation for opportunity: key questions Where can we act? What could we do? Which possibilities do we build on? Which possibilities are feasible? What target do we set ourselves? Where are the potential obstacles? How will we know that we’ve succeeded? The bridge from possibility to opportunity is measurement. This is where you begin to set targets, milestones, obstacles, measures of success. How will you be able to judge when you have achieved an objective? ( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.
45 Seven Ways to Improve Your Conversations Recall your original objective. Has it changed? Conversations for opportunity can become more exciting by placing yourselves in a future where you have achieved your objective. What does such a future look and feel like? What is happening in this future? How can you plan your way towards it? Most people plan by starting from where they are and extrapolate current actions towards a desired objective. By ‘backward planning’ from an imagined future, you can find new opportunities for action. A conversation for action (‘part’) This is where you agree what to do, who will do it and when it will happen. Translating opportunity into action needs more than agreement; you need to generate a promise, a commitment to act. Managers often remark that getting action is one of the hardest aspects of managing people. ‘Have you noticed’, one senior director said to me recently, ‘how people seem never to do what they’ve agreed to do?’ Following up on agreed actions can become a major time-waster. A conversation for action is the first step in solving this problem. It’s vital that the promise resulting from a conversation for action is recorded. A conversation for action: key stages A conversation for action is a dynamic between asking and promising. It takes a specific form: • You ask the other person to do something by a certain time. Make it clear that this is a request, not an order. Orders may get immediate results, but they rarely generate commitment. • The other person has four possible answers to this request: – They can accept. – They can decline. ( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.
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198 Appendix Steven Mithen’s book
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200 Appendix Chapter 9: Networking:
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