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Make a sweetsale - Carolina Weekly Newspapers

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OUR COMMUNITY LOCATIONS<br />

egan’s ant<br />

Holiday<br />

hijinks<br />

by Regan White<br />

regan@thecharlotteweekly.com<br />

Reunion recap<br />

Thanks to all of you who e-mailed<br />

both before and after my 10-year<br />

reunion to offer encouragement and to<br />

inquire about how it went. It was lovely<br />

and wildly amusing. The evening’s highlight<br />

came in the wee hours of the following<br />

morning, when a number of us<br />

wound up at a friend’s home. A handstand<br />

competition ensued. A rear end<br />

wound up through someone’s wall, clear<br />

to the insulation. I’ve never heard drywall<br />

crack like that. It’s a shame. It had<br />

been a lovely, sage-colored wall.<br />

You’d think that at nearly 30 years old,<br />

the proclivity to challenge one another<br />

to physical feats would wane a bit. I<br />

guess not. I informed our alumni director<br />

that she might want to provide foam<br />

padding and stepped-up supervision at<br />

the Class of 1999’s next reunion.<br />

Southern seasoned<br />

Turnout for the reunion was a bit<br />

disappointing. Our graduating class<br />

hovered around 120 people or so, but<br />

only 18 showed. While many there were<br />

transplants – so shocking in Charlotte,<br />

I know – the largely conservative dress<br />

really underscored that I live in the<br />

South. I don’t think about it much, until<br />

the mercury dips and I swaddle myself<br />

in sweaters just to brave anything below<br />

70 degrees.<br />

It wasn’t always this way. I grew up in<br />

Bergen County, N.J. My blood thinned<br />

quickly when I moved here at 12 years<br />

old. It thickened again after college in<br />

Connecticut, and thinned down during<br />

a brief stay in the <strong>Carolina</strong>s before<br />

reluctantly bulking back up for a twoyear<br />

stint in Philadelphia.<br />

I’ve been back in Charlotte longer<br />

than I realize. Autumn always has a way<br />

of reminding me. My sister just moved<br />

to Boston and I leave this week to spend<br />

Halloween with her. It’s hard to plan<br />

a costume knowing that you’ll want to<br />

make a down jacket the base. Hmmm<br />

… devil in a down jacket? Werewolf in<br />

a wool coat? Snow White in a snowsuit?<br />

The options are endless and oh, so<br />

sexy.<br />

Price-slashed scythes<br />

Speaking of Halloween costumes, I<br />

was a bit disturbed at something I saw<br />

at my neighborhood Wal-Mart the other<br />

night. Where else but in America can<br />

you buy a plastic, raptorheaded<br />

scythe for the bargain-basement<br />

price of $4?<br />

How scary is that? You can<br />

get a devil pitchfork for the<br />

same price, but, honestly,<br />

who would go for that over<br />

a raptor scythe? And those<br />

things are sharp! Not “puncture<br />

a skull” sharp, but definitely<br />

“lose an eye” sharp.<br />

Candy cancer sticks<br />

Wal-Mart has provided me<br />

one guilty pleasure during<br />

Halloween, one of my favorite<br />

holidays. It seems to be<br />

one of the few retailers left<br />

that has no problem selling<br />

large bags of “candy sticks,”<br />

proving that a candy cigarette<br />

by any other name is still<br />

Community<br />

a candy cigarette. The chalky, slightly<br />

minty white sticks come in two-packs<br />

in slim, cardboard boxes decorated with<br />

cartoon characters like Wolverine and<br />

Spider-Man. One large bag contains 60<br />

boxes, or 120 candy sticks.<br />

I’ve never smoked cigarettes – or<br />

anything else – in my life. I think as a<br />

childhood asthmatic I was too scared to<br />

even try. The closest I’ve ever come is<br />

my love of candy cigarettes. I bought a<br />

bag of them two weeks ago. They never<br />

(more on page 8)<br />

It seems I’m not the only one who has a fondness for candy<br />

cigarettes. I gave one to my 95-year-old grandmother,<br />

Hazel, who popped it into her mouth only removing it to<br />

laugh and say, “These are so good! Oh, my mother would<br />

kill me!”<br />

Regan White/SCW photo<br />

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South Charlotte <strong>Weekly</strong> • Oct. 30-Nov. 5, 2009 • Page 7

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