Vol. VI No. 1 - Modernist Magazines Project

A MOSAIC
Well, I stood on the terrace and looked at the sea. Very soon, I heard
steps behind me$ they stopped, and I glanced carelessly over my
shoulder. We were quite alone, and I knew that, as usual, he was
staring at me. I waited a moment, nothing happened, then I held out
my hand. I felt him seize it and kiss it, then, before I could say anything,
he dashed back into the hotel. I'm afraid I laughed, but the
whole thing was so absurd. I waited a few minutes longer, but, as he did
not reappear, I went back and joined my friends. He was nowhere to
be seen.
I wonder who frightens him the most5 I or his wife? We are so
ridiculously cautious. What is the sense of dangling round his wife
like a beaten dog and then, in a burst of desperate energy and courage,
kissing my hand and flying back into the hotel, before he has seen
what effect it had on me? I must, obviously, have invited him to do
so for some reason. What does he expect me to do next? Say good
morning, when I meet him in the hall? I shan't. All the same, I am
glad now that there is something tangible between us, something that
she doesn't know, and wouldn't like if she did. But the question is,
how much does she know. She must be blind if she hasn't seen the way
he looks at me and yet—Oh, I don't care—poor littlre man—but, my
God, what a fool.
Tuesday.
Van de Voorde is alone ; his wife is either ill or away. His latest
idea is to wait in the hall until I get in the lift, then race upstairs, meet
me on my landing and stand and look at me until I get to my room.
Last night, I caught him walking up and down outside my door; he
gave me a long look as I came out, but never said a word. Is he dumb?
I have decided to come down, to-night, for the ball the hotel is
giving for the Mi-Careme. I talked about it to the head-waiter and
asked him at what time it began. I spoke rather loudly, on purpose,
and I think he heard. I shall be masked. Will he know me? I wonder
how it will end.
2 a.m.
Has it ended? I don't know. But I will try and write down what
happened.
When I went to my room, to-night, to dress, I found a bunch of
81