American Sniper - Boekje Pienter

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And I missed it. I missed the excitement and the thrill. I loved
killing bad guys.
“If you die, it will wreck all our lives,” Taya told me. “It pisses me
off that you would not only willingly risk your life, but risk ours, too.”
For the moment, we agreed to disagree.
As it came up to the time to deploy, our relationship became more
distant. Taya would push me away emotionally, as if she were putting
on armor for the coming months. I may have done the same thing.
“It’s not intentional,” she told me, in one of the rare moments
when we both could realize what was happening and actually talk
about it.
We still loved each other. It may sound strange—we were close
and not close, needing each other and yet needing distance between
us. Needing to do other things. At least in my case.
I was anticipating leaving. I was excited about doing my job again.
GIVING BIRTH
A few days before we were scheduled to deploy, I went to the doctor
to see about getting a cyst in my neck removed. Inside his examining
room, he numbed the area around it with a local anesthesia, then they
stuck a needle in my neck to suction the material out.
I think. I don’t actually know, because as soon as the needle went
in, I passed out with a seizure. When I came to, I was out flat on the
examining table, my feet where my head should have been.