American Sniper - Boekje Pienter

372/439
This was the roughest of a bunch of rough spots. A lot of resentment
had built up between us. Ironically, we didn’t actually fight all
that much, but there was always a lot of tension. Each of us would put
in just enough effort to be able to say we were trying—and imply that
the other person was not.
After years of being in war zones and separated from my wife, I
think in a way I’d just forgotten what it means to be in love—the responsibilities
that come with it, like truly listening and sharing. That
forgetting made it easier for me to push her away. At the same time, an
old girlfriend happened to get in contact with me. She called the home
phone first, and Taya passed the message along to me, assuming I
wasn’t the type of guy she had to worry about straying.
I laughed off the message at first, but curiosity got the best of me.
Soon my old girlfriend and I were talking and texting regularly.
Taya figured out that something was up. One night I came home
and she sat me down and laid everything out, very calmly, very rationally—or
at least as rational as you can be in that kind of situation.
“We have to be able to trust each other,” she said at one point.
“And in the direction we’re going, that’s not going to work. It just
won’t.”
We had a long, heartfelt talk about that. I think we both cried. I
know I did. I loved my wife. I didn’t want to be separated from her. I
wasn’t interested in getting divorced.
I know: it sounds corny as shit. A fucking SEAL talking about love
I’d rather get choked out a hundred times than do that in public,
let alone here for the whole world to see.
But it was real. If I’m going to be honest, I have to put it out there.