HATE - Oregon Commentator

On Poor Music Taste
“My name is Chris, and I am a Styx fanatic.”
~ Chris Bradley gets off to a shaky start in the Register Guard’s “Below
20” section.
“Unfortunately, Stygian love such as mine does not seem to be accepted
in todays [sic] popular culture”
~ We’re not quite sure what “Stygian love” is, but we’re sure The Siren
wouldn’t approve.
“When I take a road trip, Styx rides shotgun [...] And most importantly,
when I show up at the summer camp where I volunteer each year, it is
not as Chris Bradley, but Styx, as my name tag pronounces loudly and
proudly.”
~ Why would you tell this to anyone else, ever
On Kill Whitey
“It is revealing that the US administration only began to take formal
notice of student efforts when more white students ... started joining
the table. But it is the undying commitment of students and faculty
of color (and occasionally a white student or professor too) both to
ethnic studies and this campus that is truly responsible for the new
department of ethnic studies.”
~ Nate “Institutional Racism” Gulley in a letter to the editor to the
Ol’ Dirty.
On Life is Scary
“Others may say that being yourself or finding out what you want to do
with your life is the most important thing you can accomplish here.
But learning how to deal with colorful characters like Frog is an
important skill in a town filled with them..”
~ Ol’ Dirty Pulse Reporter Kevin Glenn admits that walking by a joke
book peddler with a big beard is difficult. Kevin, the real world is
going to eat you up.
“And I’ve never thrown on my cowboy boots and ventured into Rock
‘N’ Rodeo to watch University students pretend to be rednecks.”
~ Don’t you mean “pretend to be competent people who live outside of the city”