HATE - Oregon Commentator

Letters to
Editor:
Dear Collective,
Thank you for your consistent and
diligent supply of quality toilet paper.
All they give us prisoners here
is sandpaper and bark. Oh, and your
last article on state oppression was
great. I can totally testifiy to being
subject to state forces on a daily basis,
especially in the showers. Don’t
drop the soap!
Willie Chavez, Columbia River Correctional
Institution.
Poetry Korner:
Imprisoned by the kapitalist bars of oppression
inside this tomb
of stone I weep for
earth.
Mother Gaia cries tears
of milk from her breast.
Burn it,” she cries. “Burn the Wal-mart state!”
“Burn the spineless conservatives!”
“Burn the bombs of U$A!”
Burn burn burn burn
it down with the righteousness of the
bodhisattva stars
I’m not a robot
A slave to the neo-con war machine
I am animal of the wilderness
fierce and free like the wind of freedom
I can’t be stopped by bars
Nirvana is a pipebomb
exploding in a pig$ face
PEACE
Urban Herbalist
By Urban Herbalist
Hey all you U-Gene Anarkists! It’s the Urban
Herbalist rappin’ at you. I just wanted
2 let y’all know about some killer local
plants that are great for ur body and shit.
There’s an assload of herbs, plantz and
mushroomz that can help wit whats ailin’
you, so that way you don’t have to resort
to all that evil, western medicine.
Indigestion: If your stomachz all upset n
shit, nothin calms it down like a good ol’
cup of hemlock tea! Hemlock haz been recognized
as a gastro-intestinal soother for
thousandz of years. Hemlock can be hard
to find, but I personally guarantee it will
make you feel a 100 fuckin percent better.
Take it from that Socrates dude!
‘Preggers: If you got knocked up because
you won’t subject yourself to the tryanny
of condoms, don’t fret, radi-cool girl! I’ve
got the solutionz for u. Pennyroyal is a
natural emmenagogue (that means it kills
the f3tus n shit). Just drink half a bottle
of essence of pennyroyal (U can pick it up
at a local natural f00d store). That shit’ll
knock the baby out of ur uterus before u
can say “patriarchy.”
Cuisine: Mushroomz will be in season this
fall (no, not just the trippy kind. Ha ha
ha!), and thatz some good eatin, dude! My
personal favorite is Amanita bisporigera,
also known as the Destroying Angel. Don’t
let the name fool you, though! It’s good
shit. You can easily identify it cuz it’s all
white and has a long stalk. There are some
different kindz that look like it, too. Just
pick as many as u can find and take bitez
off all of them till you find the tastiest
one. That’ll be the Destroying Angel.