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BY INVITATION
How to Make the Most of Your
Expat Experience
Refl ections from an Expat Psychologist Living in India
By Dhyan Summers
the role of career person to that of stay-athome
mom, dad or spouse. Then there are
the countless issues of living, and for some
working in a foreign country which involves
transitioning into a culture where radically
different rules, norms and taboos apply.
It has been helpful to me, as well as the
expats who come to me for counselling, to
know some of the factors which can help
us successfully move through transitions
in general, and the specifi c transitions that
are part of moving to and living in a foreign
country.
I have found that using what is referred to as
the ‘4 S System’ can be of help in identifying
and smoothing out some of the rough spots
inherent in these transitions. The 4 S’s are
Situation, Self, Support, and Strategies. We
can briefl y take a look at each of these areas
to determine where our strengths lie and
how we can overcome the challenges.
Expat teens making the most of India
Unfortunately, during major
expat transitions, our support
system is often disrupted. It
then becomes imperative to
begin to build a new support
network as soon as we can.
Fortunately, there are now
many organizations for
expats where we can meet
others in the same boat,
some of whom have had
valuable experiences we can
I
am a woman who has moved too many
times to count and have lived in four
different countries in my adult life. I am
also a psychotherapist with 30 years
experience in counselling clients. I
therefore feel uniquely qualifi ed to speak of
this experience both as a psychologist and
an expat woman.
I tend to think of the expat experience
as being a series of transitions, the most
obvious of which is the geographical
move. Another transition that most expats
experience is moving from the relatively
supportive network of friends and family to
a place where, at least initially, we do not
have a support system in place. An expat
When considering the fi rst ‘S’, the Situation,
it is important to realistically asses our
situation in terms of how much input we
had in the decision to make the change
versus it being externally imposed on us.
Take the example of being offered a job that
involves relocating. If there is no pressure
from our own or our spouse’s employer
to take the job, and if we have signifi cant
input regarding the move, we are likely to
fare much better than if the move was a
directive. I have found that the more limited
my say in the matter, the more I am likely
to feel resentment, anger and a sense of
powerlessness which can have a negative
impact on other areas of my life as well.
For me, as well as my clients, it has been
important to honour our feelings, realizing
that they are a normal response to a diffi cult
situation, to allow their expression in a safe
way and fi nally to let them go so we can
move on with our lives.
It is also important to get involved in activities
where we can exercise a certain amount of