Lisgarwrite - Lisgar Collegiate Institute

Lisgarwrite
Motorists find Mall is an Effective Thoroughfare
By: Akhil Garg
Increase in vehicular traffic attributed to Google Maps change
M
ore and more motorists are now using
Lisgar’s Mall as a road. According to statistics
compiled by students from a grade 9
geography class, there has been a 450% increase in
traffic along the 124 metre-long stretch. The students
pointed out that Google Maps has recently added a
road segment between the turning circle of Lisgar
Street and Queen Elizabeth Drive. Google’s addition
means that it might suggest the Mall as a valid route for
vehicular traffic.
Some motorists are quite pleased with the
addition. Ted Strock, a 58-year-old builder and selfdescribed
renaissance man, said: “I started to use the
Mall because Google Maps told me I could save 22
seconds off of my trip to work. And I save gas because
it’s a shorter trip.”* Another local resident used a
seemingly better reason for using the Mall. “The mall is
much faster for me because they always clean the snow
off of it by the time I come through in the morning at
7:45.”
School principal David McMahon was confused
about just how motorists saved time by going through
the mall. “I stand in the mall for an hour every day to
make sure that students get to class on time and that
nothing sketchy happens. It gets very crowded there.
Cars would have to go through very slowly.” He added
that standing in the mall was a very easy job because he
didn’t have to do much.
Most students aren’t happy with the extra
traffic. “Just the other day I saw an Asian lady trying to
navigate her way around the trees," one stated, "She
had to do a seven-point turn just to line her car up
correctly.” He continued to say that the traffic will
waste his and fellow students’ time.
Some students have put a positive spin on the
issue, saying that it might breathe new life into
reopening the tunnel between the north and south
buildings of Lisgar.
*Ted Strock added that he was a big fan of
Google, so much so that he wished readers to google his
name.
Lisgar's Mall