boatman's quarterly review - Grand Canyon River Guides
boatman's quarterly review - Grand Canyon River Guides
boatman's quarterly review - Grand Canyon River Guides
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ipped from my hands like a kite in a gale. I grab the duffel<br />
lines in front of me, emitting a guttural scream. My passengers,<br />
leaning in from the other side, faces not two feet<br />
away, eyes like fish; silent, smiles gone.<br />
In the background, the voice; “Pullll Jeffy pullll<br />
goddammit! You miss that eddy and yoah fiaaddd. Fiadddddd,<br />
you heah”<br />
Inspirational. My best buddy.<br />
We twirl like driftwood, three times ’round. Nothing for<br />
it but to wait until it lets us go. And swear. I try to calm<br />
myself by reassuring the women.<br />
“Pull, pull Jeffy…yoah fiaaaaaaaad!”<br />
We slam against the right shore. Yes. The right shore. A<br />
new voice chimes in as I reach for my oars. Might as well<br />
have a look over my shoulder, since I have no idea what to<br />
do with them.<br />
It’s Paul, the warehouse man and truck driver. Big guy.<br />
The four-ton truck is backed up to the water’s edge up the<br />
side canyon, the take out beach utterly gone. He has an<br />
unbuckled life jacket draped over one shoulder, a throw<br />
bag in his right hand, one end tied to the trailer hitch.<br />
“Come-on Rainy! I got ya!”<br />
The current is going about ten miles an hour. We’re on<br />
the far side of a 100 yard wide river, rushing headlong into<br />
Diamond Creek rapid, sideways.<br />
A sense of humor is critical at times like this.<br />
Lumbering the behemoth with wild and ineffectual<br />
pivot strokes, we end up aiming at Paul. Clearly we’ll never<br />
make it. I aim us for the bend of the cliffs forming the head<br />
of the rapid, hoping for a lucky bounce.<br />
“Hold on, ladies!”<br />
Unlucky bounce. Attention returns to the river as we<br />
plunge into Diamond Creek rapid. I’ve run Diamond a few<br />
times, am aware of an eddy on the left below. More frantic<br />
rowing and pivoting. We careen into the eddy, I drop the<br />
oars, grab the coils. Fortune smiles at last as we edge close<br />
enough to the rocky shore for me to step off. All I have to<br />
do is tie up.<br />
Unfortunately, my arms no longer operate. Past their<br />
limit, full of lactic acid, disobedient. Waddling like a<br />
monkey, trying to keep from dropping the coils by using my<br />
knees to hold up my arms, the coils whip, one by one,<br />
away from the ever-diminishing bundle. Just before the last<br />
few disappear, along with my boat and my clients, I pitch<br />
what’s left onto the earth, collapse on top, praying to the<br />
desert Gods.<br />
McDonalds couldn’t be so bad.<br />
Over the roar of the whitewater, I hear a faint<br />
sound…“squeak…squeak…squeak.” Rhythmic. Determined.<br />
Familiar.<br />
I manage to sit up, still sitting on the coils. Kevin’s long<br />
blonde hair whips by, head bending forward, backward,<br />
forward again.<br />
“Wow! Kevin! You came after me!!!”<br />
He turns ever so slightly, not missing a stroke. Spittle<br />
flying from his lips, bug-eyes hidden by mirrored<br />
sunglasses, he spits “Hey, man…I like ya, buddy…but not<br />
that much!”<br />
I lay back down, relieved. Another series of squeaks.<br />
Suzanne.<br />
Saved. Again.<br />
We walk the folks and their gear back upstream to<br />
Diamond. They gladly leap ten feet into an empty raft<br />
attached with a line to shore. Time for this trip to end.<br />
The whirlpool swallowed Joel and Moley as well, shot<br />
them left instead of right. Joel will drive and meet us at<br />
Pearce’s Ferry, thirty miles into Lake Mead, on the<br />
morrow.<br />
We raft the boats together on the lake, rummage for<br />
food and drink. As we drift off to dreamland, someone<br />
asks; “Hey…what if there’s current all the way to Pearce’s<br />
Ferry What if we miss that eddy, too!”<br />
Jeffe Aronson<br />
boatman’s <strong>quarterly</strong> <strong>review</strong> page 41