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boatman's quarterly review - Grand Canyon River Guides

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ipped from my hands like a kite in a gale. I grab the duffel<br />

lines in front of me, emitting a guttural scream. My passengers,<br />

leaning in from the other side, faces not two feet<br />

away, eyes like fish; silent, smiles gone.<br />

In the background, the voice; “Pullll Jeffy pullll<br />

goddammit! You miss that eddy and yoah fiaaddd. Fiadddddd,<br />

you heah”<br />

Inspirational. My best buddy.<br />

We twirl like driftwood, three times ’round. Nothing for<br />

it but to wait until it lets us go. And swear. I try to calm<br />

myself by reassuring the women.<br />

“Pull, pull Jeffy…yoah fiaaaaaaaad!”<br />

We slam against the right shore. Yes. The right shore. A<br />

new voice chimes in as I reach for my oars. Might as well<br />

have a look over my shoulder, since I have no idea what to<br />

do with them.<br />

It’s Paul, the warehouse man and truck driver. Big guy.<br />

The four-ton truck is backed up to the water’s edge up the<br />

side canyon, the take out beach utterly gone. He has an<br />

unbuckled life jacket draped over one shoulder, a throw<br />

bag in his right hand, one end tied to the trailer hitch.<br />

“Come-on Rainy! I got ya!”<br />

The current is going about ten miles an hour. We’re on<br />

the far side of a 100 yard wide river, rushing headlong into<br />

Diamond Creek rapid, sideways.<br />

A sense of humor is critical at times like this.<br />

Lumbering the behemoth with wild and ineffectual<br />

pivot strokes, we end up aiming at Paul. Clearly we’ll never<br />

make it. I aim us for the bend of the cliffs forming the head<br />

of the rapid, hoping for a lucky bounce.<br />

“Hold on, ladies!”<br />

Unlucky bounce. Attention returns to the river as we<br />

plunge into Diamond Creek rapid. I’ve run Diamond a few<br />

times, am aware of an eddy on the left below. More frantic<br />

rowing and pivoting. We careen into the eddy, I drop the<br />

oars, grab the coils. Fortune smiles at last as we edge close<br />

enough to the rocky shore for me to step off. All I have to<br />

do is tie up.<br />

Unfortunately, my arms no longer operate. Past their<br />

limit, full of lactic acid, disobedient. Waddling like a<br />

monkey, trying to keep from dropping the coils by using my<br />

knees to hold up my arms, the coils whip, one by one,<br />

away from the ever-diminishing bundle. Just before the last<br />

few disappear, along with my boat and my clients, I pitch<br />

what’s left onto the earth, collapse on top, praying to the<br />

desert Gods.<br />

McDonalds couldn’t be so bad.<br />

Over the roar of the whitewater, I hear a faint<br />

sound…“squeak…squeak…squeak.” Rhythmic. Determined.<br />

Familiar.<br />

I manage to sit up, still sitting on the coils. Kevin’s long<br />

blonde hair whips by, head bending forward, backward,<br />

forward again.<br />

“Wow! Kevin! You came after me!!!”<br />

He turns ever so slightly, not missing a stroke. Spittle<br />

flying from his lips, bug-eyes hidden by mirrored<br />

sunglasses, he spits “Hey, man…I like ya, buddy…but not<br />

that much!”<br />

I lay back down, relieved. Another series of squeaks.<br />

Suzanne.<br />

Saved. Again.<br />

We walk the folks and their gear back upstream to<br />

Diamond. They gladly leap ten feet into an empty raft<br />

attached with a line to shore. Time for this trip to end.<br />

The whirlpool swallowed Joel and Moley as well, shot<br />

them left instead of right. Joel will drive and meet us at<br />

Pearce’s Ferry, thirty miles into Lake Mead, on the<br />

morrow.<br />

We raft the boats together on the lake, rummage for<br />

food and drink. As we drift off to dreamland, someone<br />

asks; “Hey…what if there’s current all the way to Pearce’s<br />

Ferry What if we miss that eddy, too!”<br />

Jeffe Aronson<br />

boatman’s <strong>quarterly</strong> <strong>review</strong> page 41

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