Cook Islands - Pacific Prevention of Domestic Violence Programme

Cook Islands
Victim attitudes towards domestic violence
As a general statement, domestic violence is a more or less normalised part of life for many
Cook Islanders. Stereotypical male and female gender roles have been passed on through the
generations. This has often entailed women’s acceptance of violence, combined with a culture
of silence and shame.
Women need to talk, to share their unhappiness. They have a fear of being beaten and
killed... A lot of women accept suffering as part of life. It’s too shameful to share with
others; they’ll only share it with people at their church. They won’t go to women’s
groups either. They’re worried about confidentiality.
Domestic violence has long been regarded as a private matter and a taboo subject in the
Polynesian community (Vainerere, 2005). Male partners have a traditional right to treat
women as they see fit. Women are expected to accept this without complaint, although some
are now more forthcoming in disclosing violent victimisation. The interviews provided some
evidence that women are starting to find strength and support through confiding in friends,
although they may still be in the minority.
You might tell a friend about domestic violence, but you wouldn’t talk to your family
about your problems. You wouldn’t want them to think you’re not coping. There’s a lot
of judgement from families: they’ll talk about how you’re not doing so well instead of
helping. The men just hang out and drink.
There is a danger in attributing men’s violence towards women – and women’s seeming
acceptance of it – solely to ‘culture’. The concept is often misused. Some stakeholders felt
that men’s violence was more a matter of upbringing: that Cook Islands culture did not
endorse violence, but men use their dominant position as an excuse to hit. The following
quotes show how culture can be used to rationalise injustice or justify failure to intervene.
Many wives are insecure, because the husband is the breadwinner. We need a solution
to break the cycle. It’s hard for a small community and our culture: men take
advantage of the view that ‘men are the boss of the house’. Women are too ashamed,
too soft to come out.
Rape in marriage: the cultural view is ‘You are my wife, so I can do whatever I want’. I
don’t know that women understand they can say no. Marriage vows include the word
‘obey’ and women take that literally. Women and men are brought up with this view. It
has an effect when they’re married. Men have a sense of ownership of women: ‘She’s
mine, I own her’.
Traditionally husbands said ‘You’re my wife, you can’t report me to Police’. Now
young ladies are educated. My grandfather was a Policeman; he didn’t go out and talk
to people. I tell ladies their rights. We were hiding behind our culture.
The final quote, from a Police Officer, highlights that social and cultural norms change over
time. Many of the interviewees noted that women are becoming more educated about their
rights, in large part due to campaigns and awareness-raising programmes implemented by
agencies such as PTI and GADD. The emergence of a rights-based discourse and increased
public awareness of violence against women represents a significant shift in social values and
attitudes. Some interviewees believed that tolerance towards domestic violence will diminish
as a result.
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