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ROAD AND COUNTRY<br />
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FROM DARK PEAK TO THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF<br />
LONDON<br />
Grateful as I am to have been allowed to represent DPFR at<br />
this year's London Marathon, I do believe myself to be the victim<br />
of a disinformation campaign. Those guilty persons will know who<br />
they are when I reveal these well concealed facts.<br />
Firstly, the race takes place in DAYLIGHT and finished in<br />
daylight. All those nights spent training with the lamplighters<br />
were wasted. I would have been better advised to practice running<br />
through Debenhams on sales day. I now intend to start training at<br />
Meadowhall for next year.<br />
Secondly, it AVOIDS all serious features. Just when you<br />
arrive at a sporting obstacle such as Tower Bridge or Canary Wharf<br />
tower the course contours round and avoids the ascent. What was<br />
the thinking behind my carefully coached training runs up Win<br />
Hill? I think I should be told.<br />
And NAVIGATION? Completely wasted! Every possibility of route<br />
choice was blocked off by men in orange bibs. There was one<br />
stunningly obvious shortcut through a tunnel at Greenwich which I<br />
reckoned would have saved me a couple of hours and put me in with<br />
a chance but it was vetoed by a spoilsport. When I think of the<br />
hours with map compass and sewer layouts it makes me want to spit!<br />
Finally CLOTHING. Whoever recommended comfortable old cross<br />
country spikes was out of step. Everywhere I looked there was ERS,<br />
air, torsion bar, stabilisers and booster shoes but no-one else in<br />
proper fell gear. I felt a little out of place in lifa long-johns<br />
and balaclava.<br />
Now, as. you asked, I delivered the leaflets for the<br />
Crookstone Crashout. I had to get a few more printed to go round<br />
all 30,000. The bill came to fll,500 but I'm sure we've got it<br />
somewhere. Oh, and I changed a few details to make it sound more<br />
attractive so can someone arrange the AA road signs to the<br />
CROOKSTONE BIG CASH MARATHON. John suggests car parking for 7000<br />
and he even thought we should book hotel suites for megastars. I'm<br />
sure we could make do with the club hut but I'll leave that to the<br />
v<br />
cc tee.<br />
Mike Browell<br />
Ed. Apologies to Mike for omitting this article from the Summer 91<br />
issue.<br />
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