Al-QURAN - NED University

WWW - World Wide WaitPENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers ThroughIncorrect Understanding of MathNT - Network TragedyDNS - Does Nothing SpecialWINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On WholeSystemMy DeathBy: Syeda Anam Kulsoom RizviIM-85 / T.EMy eyes are closed,I am sleeping in a pose.My soul is flying,Now I am dying.I feel I am on the ice,I hear the sound of cries.Some people carrying me,Who are those I can't seeI am lonely in the grave,But I feel myself to be braveTwo angels with some questions come to me,They told me that GOD is agreed with me.There is a door in front of my eyes,Suddenly it opens and I am in paradise.This is the best dream of my life,InshaAllah this dream will get alive.NED Engineers at Work:Assignments solved by one and then carrying outmass transfer operations throughout the class.The only queue an NED Engineer is familiar with:Assignment Submission QueueThe most important table in NED Engineer’sHouse:The glass table (to carry out drawingmultiplication operations, during Night Duty.)The most important machine for Ned Engineers:Photo copy Machine (Without which assignmentcompletion wouldn't be possible)Humorous Definition1. Atom Bomb: An invention made to end allinventions.2. Boss: Someone who is early when you arelate and late when you are early.3. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled inpaper with fire at one end & a fool on theother.4. Classic: A book which people praises, butdoes not read.5. College: A place where some pursuelearning and others learn pursuing.6. Committee: Individuals who can donothing individually and sit to decide thatnothing can be done together.7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake insuch a way that everybody believes he gotthe biggest piece.8. Conference: The confusion of one manmultiplied by the number present.9. Conference Room: A place whereeverybody talks, nobody listens &everybody disagrees later on.10. Criminal: A guy no different from therest... except that he got caught.11. Dictionary: A place where divorce comesbefore marriage.12. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go tohell in such a way that you actually looksforward to the trip.13. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.14. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills,and kills you with his bills.15. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you aregoing to feel a feeling you have never feltbefore.16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that youknow more than you actually do.17. Experience: The name men give to theirmistakes.18. Father: A banker provided by nature.19. Lecture: An art of transferring informationfrom the notes of the lecturer to the notesof the students without passing through"the minds of either".20. Love affairs: Something like cricket whereone-day internationals are more popularthan a five-day test.39