innovate-issue-005

"Ah, why did you not say!" she laughed, and again it sounded more like something that was expectedfrom her, rather than true geniality, "Down the Grand Staircase", I could hear the capital letters, "andthen to the left. It lies just beyond""Thank you"It had been a needless question on my part - where else would the canteen be but downstairs and to theleft? But I had had to say something when I had startled her."You Oxford boys always getting lost" she said with another false laugh, then headed back the way shehad come.Oxford boy? Did she think I did not belong here, in the outskirts of London? I felt somehow cheated,but then decided she was probably just some mad old biddy that they used for caretaking or cleaning orsomething, and was hardly connected with the reality around her. I mean, not even knowing what thecanteen was!I hurried out of the exit, and found myself indeed upon a very grand staircase. What the Hell? Well, Isupposed that I did not know this part of halls very well, but it seemed rather inappropriate to me, toowide, and too gaudy, and surely it must take up a lot of space at this end of the building? I looked up atthe paintings on the wall - more prints, or were these the real thing? No, that one was a Rembrandt!They had to be prints, but then why display them so ostentatiously? Maybe they were copies, perhapsby a donor to the university?The staircase disgorged me in a hallway that again seemed rather too grand for the building I knew. Ihad often meant to explore the further reaches of the Gothic pile, but had always been goingsomewhere or doing something. I had hardly dreamt that a hallway with a marbled floor, and gold leafupon the wall existed, certainly not this close to the canteen, for even now I could hear the usual clatterof plates, and the raising of voices from that room beyond. Glancing at my watch I saw that I hadfifteen minutes, but on a bad day it could take almost that long to queue for dinner. I should just aboutmake it!I hurried down the corridor and into the dining room, and stopped dead. Was this Fancy DressSaturday or something? I looked around in confusion. The men were all dressed up in suits and tails,the women in elaborate dresses. Some even wore hats! Looking around for a familiar face, I could findnone, and walked slowly to the back of the queue. The man in front of me looked me up and downwith a sneer, made to say something then decided against it. I frowned, and looked past him at theservers - even they were dressed up to the nines, black jackets and trousers, for the men, silly littleFrench aprons for the women.A movement at the far end caught my eye. People were paying in cash! Was the food card system notworking today, or was that part of the Fancy Dress just taken to extremes? I felt a hand on my elbowand whirled around to find a man in top hat and breeches staring down at me. What was mostnoticeable was the silver-topped cane in his hand,"Where have you come from laddy?" he growled at me."The library" I said, stupidly even to my ears.Like the other before he me, he looked me up and down. Sure, my trainers, jeans and hooded fleecewere hardly sartorial elegance, but they had been perfect attire for the band the night before, andhardly out of place on any university campus."You are expected to dress for dinner" he said, though now he sounded a little less certain of himself.I looked around and could not deny that today this did indeed seem to be the requirement, but it neverusually was, so how was I supposed to know that ? With my background, and on a full grant, I didn'tmix with the smart set, merely acknowledging them as they went by, all Hooray Henry and RoeburneRachel, but this seemed to be taking it to ridiculous extremes, and who on Earth was this guy dressedup in such a ridiculous fashion?