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Baylor Democrats to host Anti-Pro-War Rally
This past weekend the Baylor Democrats,
a campus liberal group, hosted their first
ever Anti-Pro-War rally. Organizers pointed out
that they were not actually protesting the war,
but instead those individuals who are in support
of it.
“I have watched enough Daily Show to
know that Republicans, excuse me, war supporters
are all dumb,” said Baylor Democrats
president Karen Petree. “If the musings of John
Stewart have taught me anything, it’s that people
should make up their minds for themselves and
not follow the biased ponderings of a politically
biased TV personality like Bill O’Reilly.”
The rally saw a large turnout until the attendees
realized the function was in fact being
hosted by what some students called “hippie liberals.”
When asked to comment Clay Schramm,
another member of Baylor Democrats said, “I
really think people need to understand that we
aren’t here to protest the war per say, but more
the people who we perceive to be in support of it,
regardless of their political views. I know that as
Democrats, we are supposed to be open-minded,
but we are really trying to get the message out
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there that we can be as politically obtuse as the
next party.”
“When I first came to this school, it
wasn’t cool to be a Democrat,” lamented Sean
O’Neil of the organization.
“But now with Puff Daddy
and Paris Hilton on the
lefty bandwagon, it’s getting
harder and harder to retain
that surly, yet individualistic,
stereotype that people
like Michael Moore worked
so hard to create. Now that
everyone is becoming more
open-minded socially, we
have to protest Republicans
themselves, not just the actions
of their ‘lesser-of-twoevils’
President.”
Though the Baylor
Democrats themselves
deemed the rally a huge success,
other campus political organizations where
not convinced.
Chairman of the Baylor College Republicans,
Robert Watts, was quoted as saying,
“Please tell me this is the
lost episode of Star Trek
where Kirk and Spock
finally kiss.”
Baylor Democrat member preparing
for the upcoming election season.
“Huh?! What other party?”
Stephanie Bialko, who asked to be referred
to as Anti-Republican (as opposed to
Democrat, claiming that was cooler) said, “The
only thing worse than Republicans
anymore is these
Kinky supporters. Don’t
they know they are going
to steal away votes from
our party, which actually
has a chance? It’s hard
enough getting votes for
liberal candidates without
those idiots stealing the
idealistic pot head vote!
They are just doing it to be
cool anyway.”
The rally ended without
any major problems, which
many attribute to the low
attendance, seeing as how
this is a conservative campus.
The Baylor Democrats are already planning
their next big event, tentatively titled, “Let’s Get
Passive Aggressive: A Night of Poignant Political
Chalking.”
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