Staffrider Vol.3 No.1 Feb 1980 - DISA

allowed his spirit to be drenched by thecolours of flowers as though theirbeauty flashed out of her body. And heturned with avid greed to the nudesdisplayed in the art books in the FineArts Library: fat palaeolithic goddesses,serene Aphrodites, mellow Venuses.One morning Anil was standing bebesidea fountain, looking at the yellowheart of a water-lily, when Carolinecame up to him.Anil looked at her. Suddenly he wasseized by an amalgam of weakness,coyness and trepidation. She had comeupon him when his attention had beenprofoundly captured by the miracle ofan aquatic bloom emerging from itsfluid matrix. Confronted by her presencein a way that was differentfrom the previous meetings, he did notknow what to say to her. He knew solittle of her, of her interests beyond theuniversity.'No lectures today,' she asked.'One only, and its over,' he said.| 'That's why you're idling here,' shesaid, with laughter glittering in hersuperb blue eyes. She sat down on theencircling wall of the fountain.Beginning to feel at ease, joy pulsatedthrough Anil.| 'I was on my way home when Istopped for a moment,' he said.'Where do you live?' she asked.'In Fordsburg.''Do you know Mr Mia? My fatherhad business dealings with him.''He is a well-known merchant,' Anilsaid, visually caressing her body tautlyexpressed through dark green slacks.'Would you like to come to Fordsburg?''If I get an invitation.''Come tomorrow for lunch,' he said,taking pen and paper from his bag andwriting his address. 'I must go now,' hesaid, giving her the paper.I With a wave of his hand he was off,his whole being caught in a lyricalturmoil in which flower, fountain andCaroline's body seemed to melt andfuse.The next day was Saturday andCaroline went in her small car to Fordsburg.Anil was waiting anxiously forher. He lived with an elder brother andhis family.After lunch Anil took Caroline for awalk through the suburb's streets.Caroline, coming from an affluentsuburb of mansions and gardens, wasfascinated by the narrow streets, quaint42old homes embracing each other, littleshops crammed with goods, and themotley crowds. Anil on two occasions,as he escorted her, slipped his handaround her waist, and later when theyentered an arcade-like street where fruit,vegetable and flower stalls blazed withcolour, daringly attempted to entwinehis fingers with Caroline's. Although shegently disentwined hers, he did not feelrepulsed. His elation remained high. Shehad come to visit him and would comeagain. In fact his belief was soon provedcorrect when they returned and Carolineaccepted an invitation from Anil'sbrother that she join them on a familyouting and picnic on the followingSunday.On Sunday Caroline arrived and theywent by car into the country. Theystopped beneath some trees along a riverbank. They had lunch. Afterwards, thechildren, with Caroline joining them,played with a ball in a shallow pool ofwater hemmed by rocks. She wasdressed in denim jeans and a loose lilacblouse. Anil watched her every movement.Later, when she came to sit nearhim he proposed that he would like toshow her an artificial waterfall whichwas a short distance away. Carolinewent with him.The river bank was thickly wooded,with an undergrowth of ferns andshrubs. They walked along a path, andwherever there was a slope or a juttingstone or a fallen branch in the way, Anilplaced his arm protectively around herwaist. When they reached the waterfallthey watched the water as it glided overa brick wall like fluid glass and shatteredon the rocks below. Anil's entire sensualconsciousness was now concentrated ina centrifugal tension-seeking release. Hishand flew out and drew Carolinetowards him. But Caroline, by turningswiftly eluded his grasp, and laughinglysaying, 'Come, let's run a race,' ran backalong the path they had come.He stood there in a trance, his earsthundering with the crash of water, hisvision darkened by the verdigris oflooming trees. Then the reality of whathad happened rushed upon him. Thecumulative disaster of rejection, defeat,humiliation sunk into him like somebitter sediment. A cry escaped from hislips and he felt himself swept down thewaterfall . . . When he awoke he foundhimself lying in the grass.He returned and found everyoneplaying footfall on a level stretch oflawn.For the next three days Anil did notattend university. He stayed in hisroom, nursing his slashed ego; walkedabout the streets; visited museums —those huge mausoleums of heavy silence— and looked vacantly at artefacts andrelics. When he returned to university,he attended lectures listlessly, racked 1 ythe continual presence of Caroline in r sconsciousness and his desperate wit anever to see her again. What would 1 esay to her if he met her? And ho /would she react to him?He did not see her for two week .Then one day he went to the studei tcafeteria, bought a glass of milk and wa swalking towards a table, when he sa' rCaroline sitting alone in a corner. Sh •waved at him to come over. An agonisingstruggle of decision, lasting a mater -flare, gripped him. Should he go to herOr should he pretend not to havnoticed her, drink his milk quickland leave? He went towards her.'I am glad to see you,' she said as hsat down opposite her. 'We are havinanother demonstration on Friday . . . 'A rowdy group of students enterecthe cafeteria and came over to them.'Hi Caroline! Hi Caroline!' they 'shouted, bringing chairs to sit neaithem. Anil recognized several of themthey had been part of the demonstration. One of them sat next to Carolineand put his arm around her shoulders.'I have just told Anil about thedemonstration on Friday,' Caroline said,'You must be there,' one of thestudents said.'Last Friday Caroline and I eloped toDurban in my new sports car,' thestudent sitting next to Caroline said,drawing her closer. 'The weather wasperfect. We stayed at the Blue WatersHotel and dined at an Indian restaurant.What was it called . . . ?'Some of the students looked at Anil.'Khyber,' Caroline answered, almosttouching her partner's ear with her lips.'The food was super,' the studentwent on. 'And guess who we met thereAnil felt himself pushed out, negated.He looked at Caroline to rescuehim, to say a word, to smile, giving himthe assurance that he was still part ofher. But she seemed to be receding fromhim, drawn away by a clasping arm. Inan instant he saw her as part of thewhite liberal caste that indulged in ritualprotest because it was expected ofthem, only to leave the university laterto take their place in a privileged societyfor which they had been prepared.'I have a lecture to attend,' hestammered, more to himself than to thegroup and left hurriedly.Outside he ran along a pathwaytowards the street and home. A cry,'She is a white! She is a white!' flew outof his mouth, stabbing his own ears. Thecry, weighted by bitter accusation andthe authority of a final revelation,seemed to crack some inner stronghold.He ran on, his thoughts and feelingsSTAFFRIDER, FEBRUARY 198C