Safe Parenting Handbook (PDF 1.07 Mb) - Department of Health ...

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WARNING SIGNSNever shake a child for any reasonShaking a young child in rough play can cause injuries –never shake a young childShaking can cause serious long lasting injury or deathShaking is often a response to extreme frustration“I thought Icouldn’t manage. Shecried all the time, I wasexhausted and nothingThere are different ways to cope with a crying babyDo not suffer alone, seek support from othersworked. I felt such afailure. I got so angrywith her I felt like shakingher to stop her noise.different ways to copeI had no idea how muchthat could hurt her.”Why do people shake babies?Often, although not always, babies and youngchildren are shaken when a parent or carerbecomes very frustrated when they will not stopcrying due to colic, illness or feeding difficulties.On average, a baby will cry for at least two hoursevery day. If a baby has additional difficulties,they will cry more and this can be very stressful.One in ten babies cry much more than thisaverage and many parents experience a greatdeal of difficulty managing this.Ways to cope with a crying babyCrying is the way all babies make sure that theirbasic needs are met - they may be hungry,thirsty, need a change of nappy or even somecompany. Crying is neither your fault nor thefault of your baby.Some of the ways to cope include:• Count to ten before doing anything and allowyourself to calm down.Many parents may not realise the extent of thedamage that a shake can do to a young child.Parents/carers who have a low tolerance levelmay become angry and are more likely to shakethe child. However there are many alternativesand people to talk to.• Gently hug and cuddle your child - perhapswith the use of a baby-carrier so that theyare close to your body in order to helpsoothe them.• Use eye contact, smiling and talking tocommunicate with your child.Parent/carers whoare isolated withlimited support.Parents/carers whoare under stress orunable to cope.Babies who cryinconsolably.ACTIONIf you are worriedabout your child,take him or her tosee your GP, healthvisitor or to the A&Edepartment. Seeksupport, includingthe helplines listedunder Contacts.WHAT TO SAYCommunicate withyour child usingeye contact,smiling, cuddlingand talking. Thiswill develop yourunderstanding andresponsiveness toyour baby’s needswhen he/she ishaving difficulties.PREVENTIONIt is never safe toshake a child, noteven in play.It is important forsiblings playingtogether or for thebabysitter or anyother carer to bemade aware of thedangers of shaking.CONTACTS• Child ProtectionNurse Advisor inyour local HSS trust(see page 44)• Your healthvisitor/midwife• Parents AdviceCentre (freephonehelpline)0808 801 0722• NSPCC0808 800 5000What damage can shaking cause?Shaking a baby can cause death or serious andlong-lasting brain and/or eye damage. ShakenBaby Syndrome is an injury that results when ababy is shaken so that his or her head wobblesrapidly back and forth. The force of this can tearthe blood vessels that connect the brain andskull. This happens because a young child’sneck muscles are not strong enough to holdtheir head firmly. The action of shaking cancause serious damage, even though the parentdoes not perceive it as fierce. Never evershake a baby for any reason.• Take the child for a walk or a drive to helpthem sleep.• If necessary, make sure baby is safe and walkout of the room for a short time, ensuringthat you are nearby.• Ask someone else you trust to take over fora while.• It is important to contact your communitymidwife or health visitor for advice.2223
WARNING SIGNSMany parents worry that their child may use drugsPrevention is better than cureDrug and alcohol misuse is increasing among young peopleMake sure you know about drugs and their possible effectsTalk to your children about drugs from a young ageNorthern Ireland schools teach drug prevention in the curriculumhow would I know?“At first I thoughtit was just a teenagething. Paul startedto come home late,a row always startedand he’d storm off tohis room. He was losingweight, looked terribleand I felt he was lying tous. He just wanted to beout all the time.”In general terms ifyour child’sappearance,behaviour orfinancial situationchanges dramaticallyyou should includedrug and alcohol usein your list of“I wonder if…”questions.ACTIONObserve and talk toyour child if you areworried. In anemergency contactan ambulanceimmediately. If yourchild is not inimmediate dangertalk with themabout their druguse at anothertime when theyare not using.WHAT TO SAY PREVENTIONUse every opportunity Ensure that you areto discuss drug use, informed about drugfor example, when use and the effectsdrugs are mentioned of different types ofin a television drugs. There areprogramme. You many helpful guidescan give accurate available - Seeinformation regarding Contacts.the risks of drug useat an early age.CONTACTS• Education WelfareService in yourEducation & LibraryBoard (see page 44)• Your GP• Your local HSS Trust(see page 44)• Specialist drug /alcohol servicesin your area• National DrugsHelpline24 hr free advice0800 77 66 00Drugs can take many forms, from alcohol andbinge drinking, to hard drugs, solvents andmisuse of prescription drugs.Children need to be aware of the risks of usingdrugs, alcohol and volatile substances (e.g.solvents). More young people experienceproblems caused by too much drinking thanthrough drug use.If you find out that your child has or may havetaken drugs or alcohol, it can be frighteningbecause of the potential effects. This can be dueto your lack of knowledge about drugs and notfeeling confident about talking about them.Most young people who experiment with drugsdo not go on to use them on a permanent basis.Make yourself familiar with the drug’seducation policy and teaching programme inyour child’s school and, if possible, attendinformation evenings with your child.Drug and alcohol misuse among youngpeople - how widespread is it?Drug and alcohol misuse is more widespreadamong children and young people thanever before.Research carried out amongst 6000 secondaryschool children in Northern Ireland found thataround 13% of 12 year olds, 26% of 14 yearolds and 40% of 16 year olds admitted tohaving tried drugs 3 .It is important to discuss drug andalcohol use early.Some parents/carers worry that doing thisencourages their child to use drugs andalcohol. Avoiding talking about this will notprotect your child. Children will be aware ofdrugs and alcohol in some way before theyleave primary school. It is likely that at thisearly stage, children will be more responsive tobeing told about the risks of drug and alcoholmisuse. Make sure you tell your children aboutthe risks and explain how they become morevulnerable if they do not stay with people theytrust. Accurate information and support willhelp them decide what to do. It does notguarantee non-use but will increase the chanceof an informed choice.Why do young people use drugsand alcohol?They are curious about them, they want to breakthe rules, to escape reality, to cope with difficultsituations or feelings, because they enjoy them,because their friends do it.How would I know?There may be a change in relationships withfamily and friends, or a change in performanceat school. Other signs can involve changes in afinancial situation and personal possessions‘disappearing’ and being sold. Try to ensurethat you know where your children are.Drug and alcohol misuse by parentsDrug and alcohol misuse by the adults in ahousehold can seriously affect the care andwell being of children and it may encouragethem to behave the same way.243 ‘ Drug & Alcohol Use amongst Young People in Northern Ireland’ a report produced by the Drug & Alcohol Information & Research Unit, DHSSPS, October 200225
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