Safe Parenting Handbook (PDF 1.07 Mb) - Department of Health ...

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WARNING SIGNSChildren need to feel secure, loved and valued - this is the basis ofself-esteem and confidenceNoticing and acknowledging good behaviour is the best way ofinfluencing your child’s behaviourBe consistent with your discipline, using positive approaches toinfluence your child’s behaviourParents and carers need to work together and be consistentListen to and talk to your child - it’s good to talk!Do things together with your child that you both enjoy - have fun!make them feel great!“Some of my friends moan thattheir parents are too busy for them. But mymum’s great - she always finds time to talkto us about stuff and makes us feel special- I know I can talk to her about anything.”There may be none.Is your relationshipwith your childdifficult at times?Does your child getenough exercise?Are there anychanges in theirbehaviour?Is your child tryingto tell yousomething?ACTIONWHAT TO SAYBe involved and With youngerdevelop a good children, setrelationship with boundaries.your child before With teenagers, trythey reach their to agree boundaries.teens. If you are With teenagers,concerned about even if you onlyyour parenting get a grunt, don’tmethods get give up onsupport from the communication.organisations listedunder Contacts.PREVENTION CONTACTSHave fun with your • Parents Advicechild. Encourage Centre - freephonefriendships and helplineoutside interests. 080 8801 0722Listen carefully to • Barnardo’syour child’s point of Parenting Mattersview. Help them Programmethink through 028 9049 1081choices. Be betterinformed about childissues - considertheir point of view.Positive ParentingParenting can be difficult and parenting inNorthern Ireland can be especially difficult.Often parents have no control over outsideenvironments and influences.Positive parenting is about bringing out thebest in your child, by listening andunderstanding, praising and encouraging theirefforts, noticing and rewarding good behaviourand doing things together that you both enjoy.This starts from the earliest days of yourrelationship with your child. In trying to behelpful, it is often easy to point out where a childis going wrong and forget to notice the thingsthat go right. By doing this you are unwittinglygiving your child lots of attention for negativeunwanted behaviour, rather than for the goodbehaviour you would prefer them to develop. Itcan also undermine your relationship with yourchild. Parental attention and praise is one of thebiggest motivators for children so you need touse it in the right direction! Not only will thisinfluence your child’s behaviour in a positiveway, it will also make your child feel happy,loved, wanted and secure and this is the basis oflife-long confidence and self-esteem.Managing BehaviourTeaching children from a young age by settinglimits and explaining the reasons for these limitshelps to instill self-discipline. Firm andconsistent guidance is essential to positiveparenting and can successfully change badbehaviour. Yelling at or over-discipliningchildren can lead to physical and emotionalharm. There are many positive ways to promotegood behaviour such as encouragement, beinga good role model and making your childrenfeel secure of your love for them-even whenthey misbehave.TeenagersTeenagers have to learn to make their owndecisions and establish their independencefrom their parents. Unfortunately theirdecisions might not always agree with yoursand this can lead to tension. Be supportive andencourage them to talk. The main concern foradolescents is whether what they are goingthrough is normal. Remember to give them thepractical information they need about thephysical changes and reassure them that theirphysical development is perfectly normal.Your child’s healthPromoting the health of your child is a task thatmost parents do without thinking. Whether itinvolves encouraging your child to brush theirteeth, keep fit by sport and regular physicalexercise or reminding them to pay attention topersonal hygiene, you are an important sourceof information and advice and an influentialrole model for your child.Self-EsteemA sense of self-esteem is your child’s bestprotection from peer pressure. You can help tofoster this in many ways, for example, by beinga positive role model, giving positive, accuratefeedback, identifying and redirecting your child’sinaccurate beliefs and by being spontaneousand affectionate. Make them feel great!3435
WARNING SIGNS“I used to blame myself. How could I be so stupid to get into this!Now I know better. I was thirteen; he was twenty. He said he loved me,but all along he knew exactly what he was doing.”The prostitution of children is a form of sexual exploitationand abuseChildren can be abused and exploited through prostitution bymanipulative adults who wish to make moneyAdults who abuse and exploit children are responsible,not the childrenChildren abused through prostitution face severe physical,emotional and psychological risksIt’s never too early or too late to get helpabused through prostitutionAbsence from home ortruancy from school;unexplained money,clothes, jewellery orother gifts; newrelationships witholder men; evidenceof drug or alcoholabuse; changes inmood or behaviour;loss of contact withformer friends andnew relationships withan older age group;lack of self-esteem;self-harming; leavinghome in unusualclothing for your child.ACTIONTry to encourageyour child toconfide in youabout theirsituation; avoidalienating yourchild or makingthem feel that theyare to blame; get intouch withinformation andsupport agenciesthat can help youand your child.WHAT TO SAYMake sure that yourchild knows thatyou are there tohelp them, nomatter what theyhave experienced.Assure them thatthey shouldn’t feelashamed, that theyare victims ofabuse and that youunderstand howdifficult it must befor them.PREVENTIONOffer a positive andsupportive homeenvironment. Warnyour child of therisks and know whoyour child’s friendsare. Watch out forlow self-esteemand other warningsigns. Getinformation andsupport from localagencies if you feelyour child may beat risk.CONTACTS• PSNI028 9065 0222• Your local HSSTrust (see page 44)• Barnardo’s028 9067 2366How can it happen?It may be hard to imagine how any child couldbe abused through prostitution. The sad fact isthat those who benefit from abusing children inthis way use sophisticated methods to lure theirvictims in, and keep them there. It can beginwith an ‘exciting’ new relationship with an olderboyfriend who may in fact be, or become, a pimp(adult abuser). The child may receive expensivegifts and be introduced to alcohol and/or drugs.Before long the adult abuser creates a loyal anddependent relationship with the victim and canthen persuade or force them to make money forhim by providing sexual services to others. Butthis is not a business relationship - it is anillegal form of sexual abuse, which puts thechild involved at risk from severe physical,emotional and psychological damage.The damageChildren abused through prostitution canbecome victims of serious physical and sexualattacks, which can sometimes be fatal. Theycan easily become addicted to drugs andalcohol and face a high risk of contractingsexually transmitted diseases. The emotionaland psychological damage can be devastatingand can lead to self-harm, severe depressionand suicide.How to spot itThere are some warning signs detailed on theopposite page that could indicate that your childis at risk from, or is being abused throughprostitution. If all, or even some, of them applyto your child, you should consider that theymight be at risk. Boys and girls of any age canbe victims of sexual exploitation. The abusermay be a stranger but can be a family member ora friend.How to stop itPreventing children from being abused in thisway or helping them exit it can require specialisthelp. A close and positive relationship with yourchild can reduce their vulnerability. Ensuring thatthey have high self-esteem and feel good aboutthemselves can prevent them falling prey toabusive relationships. However, even with thebest parents in the world, some children will findthemselves vulnerable to this form of abuse.Parents can often feel powerless to intervene inwhat can be a complex and threatening situation.A number of organisations (see Contacts) workwith families to combat abuse throughprostitution. If you feel your child is at risk theycan provide information and support for you andyour child to help avoid dangerous relationships.If your child is abused, or at risk of being abused,through prostitution they will work with you andyour child to form an individual plan and packageof support to ensure that they are no longer leftvulnerable to those who wish to exploit them. It isnever too early or too late to get help.3637
Page 3: WARNING SIGNSChildren rely on their
Page 6 and 7: Parents are responsible for their c
Page 8 and 9: WARNING SIGNSNever leave a young ch
Page 10 and 11: WARNING SIGNS18“There are so many
Page 12 and 13: WARNING SIGNSNever shake a child fo
Page 14 and 15: WARNING SIGNS“Before Sean was bor
Page 16 and 17: WARNING SIGNS“Greg is ten - same
Page 20 and 21: WARNING SIGNS“Sometimes it feels
Page 22 and 23: WARNING SIGNS“Everyday I hear the
Page 24: Useful PublicationsBullyingA toolki

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