Safe Parenting Handbook (PDF 1.07 Mb) - Department of Health ...

WARNING SIGNSChildren need to feel secure, loved and valued - this is the basis ofself-esteem and confidenceNoticing and acknowledging good behaviour is the best way ofinfluencing your child’s behaviourBe consistent with your discipline, using positive approaches toinfluence your child’s behaviourParents and carers need to work together and be consistentListen to and talk to your child - it’s good to talk!Do things together with your child that you both enjoy - have fun!make them feel great!“Some of my friends moan thattheir parents are too busy for them. But mymum’s great - she always finds time to talkto us about stuff and makes us feel special- I know I can talk to her about anything.”There may be none.Is your relationshipwith your childdifficult at times?Does your child getenough exercise?Are there anychanges in theirbehaviour?Is your child tryingto tell yousomething?ACTIONWHAT TO SAYBe involved and With youngerdevelop a good children, setrelationship with boundaries.your child before With teenagers, trythey reach their to agree boundaries.teens. If you are With teenagers,concerned about even if you onlyyour parenting get a grunt, don’tmethods get give up onsupport from the communication.organisations listedunder Contacts.PREVENTION CONTACTSHave fun with your • Parents Advicechild. Encourage Centre - freephonefriendships and helplineoutside interests. 080 8801 0722Listen carefully to • Barnardo’syour child’s point of Parenting Mattersview. Help them Programmethink through 028 9049 1081choices. Be betterinformed about childissues - considertheir point of view.Positive ParentingParenting can be difficult and parenting inNorthern Ireland can be especially difficult.Often parents have no control over outsideenvironments and influences.Positive parenting is about bringing out thebest in your child, by listening andunderstanding, praising and encouraging theirefforts, noticing and rewarding good behaviourand doing things together that you both enjoy.This starts from the earliest days of yourrelationship with your child. In trying to behelpful, it is often easy to point out where a childis going wrong and forget to notice the thingsthat go right. By doing this you are unwittinglygiving your child lots of attention for negativeunwanted behaviour, rather than for the goodbehaviour you would prefer them to develop. Itcan also undermine your relationship with yourchild. Parental attention and praise is one of thebiggest motivators for children so you need touse it in the right direction! Not only will thisinfluence your child’s behaviour in a positiveway, it will also make your child feel happy,loved, wanted and secure and this is the basis oflife-long confidence and self-esteem.Managing BehaviourTeaching children from a young age by settinglimits and explaining the reasons for these limitshelps to instill self-discipline. Firm andconsistent guidance is essential to positiveparenting and can successfully change badbehaviour. Yelling at or over-discipliningchildren can lead to physical and emotionalharm. There are many positive ways to promotegood behaviour such as encouragement, beinga good role model and making your childrenfeel secure of your love for them-even whenthey misbehave.TeenagersTeenagers have to learn to make their owndecisions and establish their independencefrom their parents. Unfortunately theirdecisions might not always agree with yoursand this can lead to tension. Be supportive andencourage them to talk. The main concern foradolescents is whether what they are goingthrough is normal. Remember to give them thepractical information they need about thephysical changes and reassure them that theirphysical development is perfectly normal.Your child’s healthPromoting the health of your child is a task thatmost parents do without thinking. Whether itinvolves encouraging your child to brush theirteeth, keep fit by sport and regular physicalexercise or reminding them to pay attention topersonal hygiene, you are an important sourceof information and advice and an influentialrole model for your child.Self-EsteemA sense of self-esteem is your child’s bestprotection from peer pressure. You can help tofoster this in many ways, for example, by beinga positive role model, giving positive, accuratefeedback, identifying and redirecting your child’sinaccurate beliefs and by being spontaneousand affectionate. Make them feel great!3435