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Read February's The Edge as a PDF - The Edge Magazine

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Telesales £26,000 OTEInformation Solutions - £14,000 b<strong>as</strong>ic + commissionA great opportunity to join a young dynamic teamYou will need to be energetic, very hard working andambitious. You must have a fun, outgoing personalityand be comfortable making a high volume ofoutbound calls, handling rejections and forging newrelationships. Ideally you will have previous telesalesexperience and great communication skills.If you really are ambitious call us NOW or submit yourCV at www.dbsdata.co.uk/work-with-usCall: 01245 397 570www.dbsdata.co.ukEROTICFant<strong>as</strong>y14 Broomfield Road, Chelmsford.TEL. 01245 28 33 0010%DISCOUNTupon productionof this EDGEadvertisement’til 28/2/13ST. VALENTINE’S DAY GIFTS GALORE!Licensed Sex Shop1000’s of DVD’s from under £10Largest range of Herbal Viagra in the areaAll the latest Adult Toys in stockLingeriePVCRubberEverything (and MORE) for fun loving singles/couplesOpen ’til 7:00pmJust 1 minutes walk from both Chelmsford Bus & Rail stationsEstablished in Chelmsford for the p<strong>as</strong>t 20 yearsKnowledgeable, discreet, friendly staff.Sir RANDYI w<strong>as</strong> reading this article about SirRanulph Fiennes a while back andthe mind truly boggles.Next month, this 69-year-old isventuring across Antarctica on <strong>as</strong>ix month mission he himself oncedescribed <strong>as</strong> being virtually“impossible”.Yet the re<strong>as</strong>on he’s so very keen todo it is because he’s had a whiffthat another exploration party fromNorway are also considering givingAntarctica a crack, and the mereidea that they might be the first toset a record w<strong>as</strong> just too much tobear for this particular OAP.How about that, eh, readers?Almost 70 years old yet clearlyhe still gives a feck!Make no mistake, Sir Randy willmost definitely be putting his ownlife in severe danger in the name ofexploration.Already he h<strong>as</strong> lost several fingersto frostbite - a couple of which hesawed off himself (’ard, or what?) -<strong>as</strong> well <strong>as</strong> suffering a heart attackback in 2003, so surely he shouldknow better, right?Nope. Not a bit of it. Perhaps he’lleven carry on doing these sort ofcrazy escapades until the day hecroaks, and all credit to him forthat, for life is for the living.Only by Christ, can you even imaginetrying to climb to the summit ofMount Everest when you’re 65 andactually succeeding? That’s right,Sir Randy’s already been there,dunnit and got the flamin’ t-shirt.Surely this fella puts us meremortals to cotton-picking shame.“Somebody saidthat the olderyou get, themore youbecome theperson youalways shouldhave been. I feelthat’s happeningto me.” David BowieMY Christm<strong>as</strong> DayLUNCHNow honestly, readers, is it anywonder I don’t want anything whatsoeverto do with Christm<strong>as</strong> everagain?Just look at the size of myChristm<strong>as</strong> Day lunch, will you!Christ, we even bought BIGGERPLATES especially for the occ<strong>as</strong>ionand what’s (probably) worse is thatI managed to polish off the entire lotthat w<strong>as</strong> piled onto mine.No wonder I got ‘the sweats’ a fewtimes over the Crimbo/New Year’speriod. With all that food and boozeswilling around inside you, how canyou possibly not?Hence my re<strong>as</strong>on for wanting tojettison the whole ridiculous periodfor the remainder of my days (yes, Iam being totally serious).I love the build-up to Christm<strong>as</strong>, butonce Christm<strong>as</strong> Day arrives, that’sit, I’m no longer frigging well interested.In future, I want to be on a’plane that’s heading somewherewarm and sunny.<strong>The</strong> only re<strong>as</strong>on I’ve only ever beenaway twice over the festive periodbefore is because it can be literally<strong>The</strong> <strong>Edge</strong> 01245 348256double the price of other times ofthe year. But in all honestly, for thesake of my sanity, I think it’s a pricewell worth paying in the future.HAPPY NEW YEARBless her heart, this old dear, whoreally did look <strong>as</strong> though she’dbeen abandoned, wished me a‘Happy New Year’ whilst I w<strong>as</strong>walking along the beach in Dorseton New Year’s Day. Only I wantedto say to her, “Do you think you’llsee another one in then?”But hey, you don’t, do you? Youjust don’t. You keep thoughts likethat to yourself. Le<strong>as</strong>t I do.But we’ve all got to go sometime,haven’t we? Only hey, we neverknow when our time is going to beup. Could be this week, nextweek, this month, next year....Who knows?Happy little soul, aren’t I?Oh aye, I’ve certainly started 2013the way I intend to go on.Page 24 <strong>The</strong> <strong>Edge</strong> 01245 348256

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