Pick Ups - Alex Broun

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205. HELLOBRETT:Hello. Wouldn't have killed me, would it ? I mean shewas beautiful. Beaut -iful. She was standing over atthe bar, this light sort of behind her. Brown eyes,shiny black hair, nice tanned skin. A glamour alright.And she was wearing this white top - skimpy sortof thing, you know. I mean it didn't leave too much tothe imagination. I just wanted to touch her. Hey, whowouldn't ? I mean touch her hair, touch her skin,touch her. But she was over there and I was overhere. She was with a couple of friends too. Icouldn't just walk over and say hello could I ? Imean what would I've said ? "Hi, I'm Brett. You'rebeautiful." How would've I have felt ? Pretty bloodystupid that's how. So I just stood there with memate, drinking beers, wondering what her name was- Tracey, Kate, Suzy. I thought maybe once I gotpissed enough I wouldn't care what happened andI'd go over anyway. But next thing I know I look upand it's twelve o'clock. Closing time. "Everybody pissoff." She walked out with her friends. I watched her- every step. I thought, just for a second, that shelooked back at me and smiled. But then she was goneand I had to look after Ian. He was chucking up in thedunnies. I should've said it - "Hello". I mean how hardcould it be ? Gidday. Hi. How's it going ? What areyou up to ? There's a million ways. Hel - lo. But Ididn't. I was too gutless. I just finished me beer, putIan in a cab, walked home and went to bed. I couldn'tsleep. I kept thinking about her. Imagine, cuddlingup to her, looking into those eyes, kissing those lips- telling jokes, laughing. Heaven. (PAUSE) Instead - Ijust had a wank. Not the same really is it ?
216. THE RE-CONSTRUCTED FEMALE.NIGHTCLUB. NATALIE AND SONIA. A TV HIGH ABOVE THEM.VOICE: (OFF) Why won't you bitches tell us your names ?BOTH:NATALIE:SONIA:We don't want you. We don't want you.Little boys.(REFERRING TO TV) Now he's got a good body.WAYNE ENTERS, HE LEANS AGAINST THE WALL.NATALIE:(WATCHING WAYNE) So has he.SONIA: Uh - huh. You or me ?NATALIE:Me.NATALIE APPROACHES WAYNE. WAYNE WATCHES THE TV.NATALIE:You better watch out. People'll start talking about you.WAYNE: Yeah. Why ?NATALIE:WAYNE:NATALIE:WAYNE:NATALIE:WAYNE:Watching that video so intently. They'll start thinkingyou're one for the boys.How's that?The stripper. On the TV. It's a guy.Shit. Didn't even notice.(POINTING TO TV) Boy. (POINTING TO HERSELF) Girl.Aren't you older enough to know the difference ?Course. From behind he just looked like a .. girl, that's all.NATALIE: Bit butch where you come from are they ?WAYNE:Just dress a little different. Name's Wayne. I'm from Forbes.NATALIE: Country boy. I like that. When d' you get in ?
Page 5 and 6: 5This production then toured to:L'A
Page 8 and 9: 8IAN: Do what ?SUSIE LAUGHS.WENDY:I
Page 10 and 11: 10USHER: Could I see your tickets p
Page 13 and 14: 13ANGELA:PETER:ANGELA:PETER:ANGELA:
Page 15 and 16: 153. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin (
Page 17 and 18: Primera Feria Hemisférica de Educa
Page 19: 19NICK: Well ?SIMONE: What about he
Page 23 and 24: 23WAYNE:NATALIE:WAYNE:NATALIE:I pro
Page 26 and 27: 267. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin (
Page 28 and 29: 28LYDIA:PETER:LYDIA:PETER:LYDIA:PET
Page 30 and 31: 309. WHO GETS KILLED ?REBECCA AND G
Page 33 and 34: 3311. BACHELOR OF SLEAZE.DANCE PART
Page 35 and 36: 35KORRY:Women like men who can appr
Page 37 and 38: 3712. THE SURE THINGGINA AT BAR. BA
Page 39 and 40: 39BARRY: Yes. (PAUSE) What's your o
Page 42 and 43: 42FIONA:IAN:Both. Hey, this is fun.
Page 44 and 45: 4414. MR SKAGCORINNE STANDS AT THE
Page 46 and 47: 4615. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin
Page 48 and 49: 4817. BEER.IAN:Beer. Beer. Beer. (P
Page 50 and 51: 50WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:You
Page 52 and 53: 52PAUSE.SUSIE:BRETT:WENDY:No.Come o
Page 54 and 55: 54IAN:SUSIE:IAN:SUSIE:BRETT:Play it
Page 56 and 57: 5619. PREDATORMICHAEL AND BETTINA S
Page 58 and 59: 5820. SYDNEYNEIL, PETER, JANELLE AN
Page 60 and 61: 60NICK:Watch what he does.THEY WATC
Page 62 and 63: 6222. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin
Page 64 and 65: 64THE STAGE MANAGER ENTERS.STAGE MA
Page 66 and 67: 66CHEERS. THE SOUND OF WEDDING BELL
Page 68 and 69: 68A. LOVE IS THE DRUGMANDY IS WAITI
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70MANDY: You want to talk to a woma
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72B. WARREN, THE RELUCTANT VIRGIN 6
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75GINA:MARK:You sound like the perf
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77GINA:(CONT) performance utilising
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79E. IS THIS A DEPOSIT OR A WITHDRA
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81G. BYRONGREG AND HELEN.HELEN:GREG
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83DOMINIQUE:Delicious.MARTIN: Delig
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85GREG:HELEN:GREG:Could be fun.You'
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87JANELLE: Thank you. (PAUSE) You w
Page 89 and 90:
89WENDY:IAN:WENDY:What does it look
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91BRETT: What are we gonna do ?IAN:
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