Pick Ups - Alex Broun

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8IAN: Do what ?SUSIE LAUGHS.WENDY:IAN:BRETT:WENDY:Look Dumbo. That's the stage. Get off it.The stage eh ? This where they do their strip teaseroutine ? Hey Brett. Watch this. (SINGS) Da, da, da, daIan. (LAUGHS)Look get off the stage. People are looking.IAN: Can't take their eyes off me eh ?WENDY:IAN:You are so juvenile.Hey Brett. I think she likes me. (SINGS) Da, da, da, da.THE USHER APPROACHES.SUSIE:WENDY:IAN:Watch out. Here comes the guy.Now you're stuffed.I'm so scared.WENDY POKES OUT HER TONGUE.USHER:IAN:USHER:IAN:USHER:IAN:USHER:IAN:Excuse me would you get off the stage please ? The show's about tostart.I'm doing my routine.I'm sorry sir, the play is about to begin.What's this play about then ? Wally fuckin' Lewis.It's called Pick-Ups.About trucks is it ? Hey Brett, this play's about trucks. Brrrm.Brrrm.Sexual Pick-Ups. Off the stage. Now.Make me.
9USHER:IAN:I only play with men. Not little boys.Woah.IAN GETS OFF THE STAGE.USHER:WENDY:(TO WENDY) I'd grab a seat. We're about to start.Thanks.THE USHER MOVES OFF.IAN:WENDY:IAN:BRETT:IAN:SUSIE:IAN:Poofta. Listen, me and Brett are heading back up to theCourty. Want to come ?We're here to watch the play.Oh forget that. It'll be boring. Come on. (TO SUSIE)What do you say cutey ? I think Brett's got the hots for you.Ian.He has. He told me. That's why we followed you.But we've already bought our tickets.Cash in 'em. The poof won't mind. Hey mate.WENDY: Look, would you just leave us alone ?IAN:WENDY:BRETT:IAN:WENDY:Just being friendly.Jesus ! You can't even come to a play anymore withouttwo dumb yobbos trying to crack on to you.I'm not a yobbo.Hey, beggars can't be choosers Wendy.Just leave us alone. Come on Susie. Goodbye. Andyou're not sitting anywhere near us. So don't even try.IAN: You want to make a bet ?WENDY AND SUSIE MOVE OFF. IAN AND BRETT GO TO FOLLOW. THEUSHER APPEARS.
Page 5 and 6: 5This production then toured to:L'A
Page 10 and 11: 10USHER: Could I see your tickets p
Page 13 and 14: 13ANGELA:PETER:ANGELA:PETER:ANGELA:
Page 15 and 16: 153. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin (
Page 17 and 18: Primera Feria Hemisférica de Educa
Page 19 and 20: 19NICK: Well ?SIMONE: What about he
Page 21 and 22: 216. THE RE-CONSTRUCTED FEMALE.NIGH
Page 23 and 24: 23WAYNE:NATALIE:WAYNE:NATALIE:I pro
Page 26 and 27: 267. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin (
Page 28 and 29: 28LYDIA:PETER:LYDIA:PETER:LYDIA:PET
Page 30 and 31: 309. WHO GETS KILLED ?REBECCA AND G
Page 33 and 34: 3311. BACHELOR OF SLEAZE.DANCE PART
Page 35 and 36: 35KORRY:Women like men who can appr
Page 37 and 38: 3712. THE SURE THINGGINA AT BAR. BA
Page 39 and 40: 39BARRY: Yes. (PAUSE) What's your o
Page 42 and 43: 42FIONA:IAN:Both. Hey, this is fun.
Page 44 and 45: 4414. MR SKAGCORINNE STANDS AT THE
Page 46 and 47: 4615. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin
Page 48 and 49: 4817. BEER.IAN:Beer. Beer. Beer. (P
Page 50 and 51: 50WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:SUSIE:WENDY:You
Page 52 and 53: 52PAUSE.SUSIE:BRETT:WENDY:No.Come o
Page 54 and 55: 54IAN:SUSIE:IAN:SUSIE:BRETT:Play it
Page 56 and 57: 5619. PREDATORMICHAEL AND BETTINA S
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5820. SYDNEYNEIL, PETER, JANELLE AN
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60NICK:Watch what he does.THEY WATC
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6222. Warren, the Reluctant Virgin
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64THE STAGE MANAGER ENTERS.STAGE MA
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66CHEERS. THE SOUND OF WEDDING BELL
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68A. LOVE IS THE DRUGMANDY IS WAITI
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70MANDY: You want to talk to a woma
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72B. WARREN, THE RELUCTANT VIRGIN 6
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75GINA:MARK:You sound like the perf
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77GINA:(CONT) performance utilising
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79E. IS THIS A DEPOSIT OR A WITHDRA
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81G. BYRONGREG AND HELEN.HELEN:GREG
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83DOMINIQUE:Delicious.MARTIN: Delig
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85GREG:HELEN:GREG:Could be fun.You'
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87JANELLE: Thank you. (PAUSE) You w
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89WENDY:IAN:WENDY:What does it look
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91BRETT: What are we gonna do ?IAN:
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Pick Ups - Alex Broun

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