IN HONOR OF VALENTINE’S DAYA PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTTO MENBy Lisa MinnsIt’s that time of year again, when romance is in the air. Hallmark has been lettingus know for months that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. <strong>The</strong>day of hearts and roses can bring on many emotions for those of us in the singleworld. It can make us hopeful that romance really is alive and kicking. Or,for some, it’s a sad reminder that they are not coupled up for that special day.For a man, in particular, it can bring on full blown anxiety attacks becausemaybe he’s just not that into the girl he’s currently seeing and he knows thatshe expects a big, expensive, and romantic production or because he realizesshe’s the one, and has decided that it’s time to pop the question. No, not“where are we going to dinner”—the one about the life long commitmentand the ring. Statistically speaking, Valentine’s Day is right up there withChristmas and New Year’s Eve for large numbers of engagement proposals.Speaking of proposals, my recent experiences with men have led me tobelieve that there are a few things some men just aren’t aware of before theytake this monumental step. So, for those that never got the memo, I’m puttingout a public service announcement. Yes, some guys just saw the phrase“put out” and they are still smiling over it. It’s OK, have your fun.Back with me? Good. Let’s start with what most women consider the mostobvious thing that men need to know before asking that all-important lifealteringquestion. So hear this guys, once you go there, stop dating! Yes, youread it right. If you ask a woman to marry you, you stop dating other women.That is true not only for the engagement period but also for the marriage.Really, there isn’t a loophole here. Women are reading this with a big huge“duh” but, I swear, in my experience it is necessary to say. <strong>The</strong>re is an entirecommunity of men out there that seems to believe that it’s okay to continueto pursue other women when they are engaged or married. Let’s break itinto three groups. <strong>The</strong>re’s the one that believes if the other woman and hisfiancé/wife don’t know each other, then it’s OK, the group that believes aslong as the fiancé/wife doesn’t know about the other women, then it’s OK,and lastly, the group that believes that if the other women are not aware thathe has a fiancé/wife, then it’s OK. I’m here to tell you all, it’s just not OK.When you put that ring on her finger, you are supposed to be done dating.In fact, if you check, I believe there’s something in the vows talking specificallyabout forsaking all others. I know there are also women out there whoare just as bad, so all I have say to you is—grow up and behave!<strong>The</strong> next issue is the old zip code/area code rule. It’s not real! Some menthat I’ve encountered not only think that it is real but have convincedthemselves that somewhere in a land far, far away, where all of the rules tolive by are actually written down and kept in a magical vault, that the zipcode/area code rule really exists. In case you haven’t heard of this before,the mythological rule goes like this: if you are in a relationship and are acertain distance from either your home zip code or area code then anythingyou may say or do does not count. This acceptable distance seems tovary from person to person, but the idea is the same. I’m here to tell youthat, yes, it does count. I swear. Even if you go across the InternationalDate Line and it’s really a day in advance of where your significant otheris, it still counts. Ladies, if you are in a relationship, the same goes for you.I’ve met many people who actually tried to use that excuse on their significantother and then ended up hiring a divorce lawyer.This takes me tothe next issue—flirty text messagesand phone calls with random women should be out ofyour system. You would not believe how many of these come my way. Nowyou are asking how they got my cell number in the first place. That’s simple;they failed to tell me that they were committed to someone else whenasking for it. I found out one guy was engaged when I was visiting his joband a random customer congratulated him. Yep, judging by the look on hisface, if the ground could have opened up and swallowed him whole hewould have been thankful.<strong>The</strong> whole inconvenience of being engaged hasn’tslowed him down though. His explanation for pursuing me was that, intoday’s world, you just never know if something will work out so you needto keep your options open. I told him that his fiancé would most likely disagreeand I kindly offered to ask her for him. Shockingly, he turned medown and surprise, surprise, he quit asking me out.Now, I don’t want everyone to think that I am so jaded that I don’t believe inlove or romance anymore. I really do and not just the kind that Hallmarkcreates either. I have met many nice men along my dating journey and havefriends who are married to some incredible guys. I’m just the kind of girlwho talks to everyone when she’s out and about so sometimes that can bemisinterpreted. Men seem to feel comfortable stepping into my kingdom.I’ve been known to tell more than a few that every kingdom needs a joker sothey are welcome to stay a while, however, it takes someone amazing to bethe king and, lo an behold, I’m still looking for him.So guys, what have we learned here? No, it’s not to make better choiceswhen it comes to the women you choose to mess around with. If you aren’t100 percent sure about the one you are giving the ring to—please, don’t doit!!! Stop dating other women, stop sending flirty texts to other women, andyou can’t ask for other women’s phone numbers even when you travel out ofthe country. You are still committed only to your fiancé/wife.So, if you are still not sure after reading this, please don’t buy her the ringon Valentine’s Day. Just buy the roses and take her out to dinner. Give herthe romantic night she is hoping for—just don’t end it with a ring. If youneed suggestions, just let me know. I’ll help you plan a night she will neverforget and it won’t end up in divorce court!This has been a public service announcement on behalf of all singlewomen out there in the dating jungle.Lisa Minns, a native of South Florida, is a freelance writer on the single’sscene, a graduate of FAU University, and an avid football fan.30 FEBRUARY <strong>2008</strong>
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