February 2008 - The Parklander Magazine

No Princess in the HouseNo Princess in the HouseBy Cheryl PangbornIt’s funny now, looking back, I see howdisillusioned we can be when we have kids. I rememberbeing pregnant with my daughter; I was so thrilled to be having a girl! Iimagined a frilly little princess, a “Mini-Me” of sorts, and then…along cameKatie. As adorable as she is and as often as people tell me she looks just likeme, she is not like me at all. My dreams of dressing up dolls, shopping in themall for cute clothes and watching Disney Princess movies flew right outthe window with this child. At first it really bothered me and I made it mymission to make her into a Girly Girl. I introduced her to all things pink andpretty and tried to get her to embrace the world of fashion, but she will haveno part of it. We never mention the “B” word in our house (that’s Barbie).The only “B” she allows in her room is the “B” in Bob, that’s SpongeBob forall you not familiar with Bikini Bottom (that’s where he lives, by the way).After all, who wouldn’t like an annoying yellow sea sponge with a nasallyvoice who hangs out with a bloated, slow minded starfish, better than a cutelydressed doll with a cool Corvette and townhouse?? Go figure.The amazing thing is that as Katie gets older, she’s seven now, it becomesmore obvious to me that she is exactly like her dad. It took me awhile to toadmit it to myself, but that is the cold hard truth. What makes them laugh?Disgusting arm pit noises and whoopee cushions. What is entertainmentfor them? Watching Survivorman on the Science channel or UltimateFighting. Are they both Fashionistas — hardly! My husband practicallypasses out if he has to stay in the mall more than five minutes and mydaughter only likes to go for the entertainment factor, you know, lunch,maybe a ride on the carousel, and then she’s had enough! I don’t think sheknows you actually go there to SHOP. And speaking of fashion, I’ve givenup completely. She has a “no dress” policy. I state that with a doublemeaning because she hates dresses and being dressed. She is naked withinseconds of walking into the house. “I hate clothes, mom.” Why does thisstatement scare me so much? When she finally does get dressed, she’ll dona lovely pair of old ratty shorts and an equally drab T-Shirt and I just starein dismay. How could this child have come from my loins?All my dreams of dressing up dolls, shopping in themall for cute clothes and watching Disney Princessmovies flew right out the window with this child.52 FEBRUARY 2008Recently Katie was performing with a choir of children in a Christmaspresentation. This was a thrill for me, as I am long-time thespian who willperform any chance I can get. I was hopeful that this would push her intothe world of drama, my world! I thought happily, perhaps this is what wecould have in common. Minutes before the show, I snapped back to realitywhen she came completely unglued and flipped out. I had to bribe her to goon stage with a number of ridiculously expensive toys. She did wind updoing it, but she didn’t like it. And, alas, that too is sooo my husband. He isa totally behind the scenes type and apparently, so is she. Mind you, she isvery much a drama queen but she saves her best performances exclusivelyfor me at home. Lucky me! (“Mom, I don’t like Cinderella, she is so lame”)!I haven’t given up all hope, however. I am still working subtly and slowlywith her. I recently introduced her to the joys of a good pedicure and sheactually liked it. I’ve decided that instead of moving right to the princessthing, I will get her excited about other Disney movies like Ratatouille (yes amovie about a Rat). I still can’t get too excited about the funny nose andglasses or anything related to “cutting the cheese”, but I am really happy thatshe has such a close bond with her dad. Even if the bonding agents arethings that I think should be banned completely (like Go-Carts and BBguns). She has captured her dad’s heart and loves to be with him and wantsto do all the things he does. So there is an up side to this and I am holdingout in the hopes that, eventually, she will move into those years wheremakeup and clothes, along with modesty, become all important to her, andI will be waiting in the wings to take over and it will be Mom’s time toshine! Until then, I will try to laugh along with the fake bugs and play withMatchbox cars…and dream someday my Princess will come…