Stress book draft.pdf

Frank McDonald “Stress Management – Awareness and Coping Strategies”Why don't we say no appropriately?Most people are not assertive for the following reasons:a. they have never been taught how to be assertive (their teachers, friends,relatives may show them how to be non-assertive or aggressive but notassertive.)b. they have a negative self-image: they see themselves as not veryworthwhile people.c. fear of what others might think of them or do if they stand up for theirrights.Because of c. they develop rationalisations - reasons they give to themselves fornot being assertive. But these rationalisations are just excuses or justificationsthat make them feel OK about not being assertive. The most commonrationalisations are:1. Fixing on a low probability event as an excuse e.g. "I won't ask her to stopsmoking because she might get very angry and burn me with her cigarette."You can't guarantee this won't happen but it is a very low probability event.2. Fixing on a higher probability event but giving it added meaning e.g. "if Istand up for my rights my friend will be very angry and that would bedevastating!"Again it might happen, but would it be devastating?3. Making up rationalisations which cannot possibly be true e.g. " if I say no,she may never speak to me again and I could not survive."54