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Scareship_Issue8

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The Chrome-Plated Man<br />

by Richard King Perkins II<br />

You have read all the stories about Captain Dagger<br />

and his trusty sidekick, Switchblade.<br />

Except for the sharpened carapace<br />

he is more like you than most would believe.<br />

When the sinister Mr. Machete<br />

gets the drop on our heroes with his flying guillotine,<br />

you know two pages in advance<br />

that the only thing needed is a temporary<br />

reversal of gravity to save the day.<br />

A localized distortion of common physics causes<br />

your water clock to be off by exactly twenty-four hours.<br />

In the early stories, The Captain is a roguish sort,<br />

who gets all the girls you want him to get<br />

while many subtle references<br />

regarding his ample endowment are made.<br />

You’ve done the math, and sadly admit you could never<br />

come close to measuring up to that degree of manliness.<br />

To become a true hero in his own right,<br />

the later stories send Switchblade off to Mongolia<br />

to train with The Desert Ghost Warriors and become<br />

an initiate of a mysterious fighting style<br />

that has no defense in the western world.<br />

60

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