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Not for Reproduction Copyright 2008 QNotes Not for ReproductionGeneral GayetyP E R S P E C T I V Ecation. Two yearslater the friendsas charged as, well, the electroshock treatmentslesbians then endured.legally hitched. Twice.When San Francisco Mayor Gavinby Leslie Robinson . Contributing Writerbecame lovers and on In 1964 Martin helped found the Council Newsom unleashed gay marriage in 2004,Valentine’s Day in on Religion and the Homosexual, aimed at canny politicos saw that Martin and LyonFarewell to Delc o p r i g h t1953 they moved in overturning laws criminalizing homosexual went first. I’ll never forget that photo of thetogether in Sanbehavior. In 1972 she and Lyon co-authored two elderly, lively women with their foreheadsDel Martin died an honest woman. AfterFrancisco.the book “Lesbian/Woman,” an honest look at pressed together, ringed by teary activists.five decades of living in sin, of shacking up, ofliving outside the bonds of marriage, shefinally wed the love of her life just two monthsbefore she died.Did she have some sort of moral awakening?No, the California Supreme Court did.When the court legalized same-sex marriage,Martin, 87, married her female partner,Phyllis Lyon, 83. The two had been a coupleIn 1955 they and six other lesbians cofoundedthe Daughters of Bilitis (DOB), initiallymeant to provide social activities andquiet support for lesbians. DOB became thefirst national lesbian advocacy organization.As an aside, I’ve long wondered who orwhat “Bilitis” was. Turns out she was a lesbianon the isle of Lesbos in a poem by PierreLouys called “Song of Bilitis.”As to how thelesbian lives. That year she and Lyon also cofoundedthe Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club,the nation’s first gay political club.I’m sure these women must’ve gone onvacation. Once.Martin fought against sexism within the gayrights movement and against homophobiawithin the women’s movement. She was the firstout lesbian on the National Organization forThe San Francisco marriages were voidedand I bet you can guess who served as plaintiffsin the California marriage case that ledthe state Supreme Court to scuttle the ban ongay nuptials.On June 16, after a mere 55 years of co-habitation,Martin and Lyon stood in front of MayorNewsom and were wed. Legally handcuffed.After Martin’s death, Lyon said,“I am devastated,but I take some solace in knowing welonger than Sears and Roebuck. As a lesbian word is pronounced, you’re on your own.Women’s board of directors. In 1976 Martinpioneer, Del Martin, who2died on Aug. 27, is0Martin was DOB’s0first president. In 8the first published “Battered Wives” and became awere able to enjoy the ultimate rite of love andpart of the reason the court and society have issue of “The Ladder,” the group’s newsletter that nationally known advocate for battered women. commitment before she passed.”evolved so profoundly on gay rights.would become a monthly magazine, she wrote, In 1995 she and Lyon were delegates to the Del and Phyllis were political until the endPersonally, it’s a mystery to me how one “Nothing was ever accomplished by hiding in a White House Conference on Aging, where they — beyond. Mourners are asked to contributeperson can possess such guts and certainty. Ihave a feeling someone else got shortchanged.dark corner.Why not discard the hermitage forthe heritage that awaits any red-bloodedmade a splash by announcing to attendeesthat LGBT people actually age too.in Del’s name to the fight against the proposedstate marriage ban. Flowers are nice, but freedomlasts longer. ◗Martin and Lyon met in Seattle in 1950 American woman who dares to claim it?”They were the poster children for “Thewhen both were journalists for a trade publi-In the 1950s such words must’ve seemed personal is political.” The capper was getting info: LesRobinsn@aol.com . www.GeneralGayety.com❛guest commentary ❜by Raine Colec o p r i g h tTeaching baby to walkAfter the conclusion of the Democratic Rights Convention in Seneca Falls and 144Yes, I want marriage, but I think that we— Q-Notes strives to afford the CarolinasConvention last month some friends of minewere bemoaning the failure of the party’s platformto call for same-sex marriage. Theirresponse was coupled with an “I want changeand want it NOW!” attitude and, sadly, a lackof willingness to listen to reason.We live in what I like to call a “Microwaveyears from when this nation was founded.Those who fought this battle did so recognizingthat while they might not reap the benefits,their daughters or even granddaughters could.Some lost their families, their homes, their freedomand, yes, their lives. Just for us.The members of the LGBT communityneed equality first.I want to be able to go to work without thefear of being fired because I am a lesbian. Iwant to be able to be by my partner’s side ifshe is in the hospital — or her by mine. I wantmembers of the LGBT community to be ableto serve openly in the military.LGBT community an open forum fordiscussion and commentary. The views ofguest commentators do not necessarilyrepresent the official views or positions ofQ-Notes, its editorial staff or publisher.Society” — one in which everything is eitherinstant or fast. Instant news, instant messaging,must adopt this same mindset and while wefight for ourselves we must also fight evenEquality will only be achieved by our persistenceand by our patience.• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •instant credit allowing for instant pur-Whattis causing theing cash (leading of course to instant debt). nity take it for granted that they can live openly.We are no longer arrested or committed to a They don’t try once or twice and then give up epidemic among the gay,the hands and guide them along — patiently.continued HIV/AIDSThe cost of convenience has been ourpatience.mental health facility — all of which happenednot that long ago.ning. Parents are patient and persistent, help-because the child did not hit the ground run-bi and men who have sex withWe have become so conditioned to instantmen (MSM) communities?gratification that we have lost sight of the way If you have not seen the documentary ing the child along, and when the child doeschases instead of savingcfor a while and pay-oharder for those who will follow.Too manypmembers of the LGBTrcommu-Have you ever watched a parent help ababyitake those first steps?gThey hold themhbythings actually happen. I think we need to “Last Call at Maud’s,” I urge you to. This film, start walking they really take off!See the options and vote atwww.q-notes.comtake a step back and look at how long it hastaken us to get to where we are now.and others like it, will give you a good idea athow our sisters and brothers were treated inI call for all members of the LGBT communityto be those patient, guiding, supportive hands.During the Convention we were remindedthat in the U.S. women have only had the rightto vote for a mere 88 years. This did not happenthe pre-Stonewall years.Look at what is happening today in placeslike Iran, Jamaica and even here in AmericaLet’s teach this baby to walk. ◗Ed. Note: Raine Cole is a former co-chair ofPride Charlotte and currently serves on the festival’s❛ online q.poll ❜taskovernight — it took 72 years from the Women’s2 0— people are dying!0 8force.c o p r i g h tSEPTEMBER 20 . 2008 • QNotes 5Not for Reproduction Copyright 2008 QNotes Not for Reproduction