Clergy Spouse Handbook - Wisconsin Conference United Methodist ...

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HANDBOOK 2010 submitted.docPage 14 of 51 PagesSpecifically, "Family Caregiving: When It Wears You Down" is for caregiving for the elderly.Others of different topics are also available. In addition, the Parish Nurse in your church or aneighboring church may be of assistance to you. Also, check with local hospitals for local groupsand organizations that may assist you in support.An excellent video resource is available from Paraclete Press, www.paracletepress.com, WhenYour Parent Needs You: A Guide to Positive Growth While Caring for Aging Parents. Thisresource would also be an appropriate small group discussion/study at church.Tips for caregivers from Health Professionals:1. Write questions down so you won't forget them.2. Be clear about what you want to say to the doctor. Try not to ramble.3. If you have lots of things to talk about, make a consultation appointment, so the doctor canallow enough time to meet with you in an unhurried way.4. Educate yourself about your loved one's disease or disability. Information on the Internet ishelpful.5. Learn the routine at your doctor's office and/or the hospital so you can make the system workfor you.6. Recognize that not all questions have answers; especially those beginning with "why."7. Separate your anger and sense of helplessness about not being able to help your loved one asmuch as you would like, from your feeling about the doctor. Remember, you are both on thesame side.8. Appreciate what the doctor and other medical professionals are doing to help, and say thankyou from time to time.( National Family Caregivers Assoc. website)Resources:Check with federal, state, county and local governmental agencies designed to assist you insupport of the caregiving process:Administration of Aging (AoA) at the federal levelWisconsin State Bureau of Aging and Long Term Care Resources –State levelWisconsin Department of Health and Family Services found in each countywww.dhfs.state.wi.us>Six Area Agencies and Regional Agencies on AgingCounty Aging Offices (See also: County Department on Aging)(Request the "Resource Guide of Services for Older Adults" from the Coalition ofWisconsin Aging Groups, 2850 Dairy Drive, Suite, 100, Madison, WI 53718,
HANDBOOK 2010 submitted.docPage 15 of 51 Pages1-800-366-2990, or http://www.dwag.org for complete list of groups in WI.)National Council on the Aging: www.ncoa.or You may wish to search on the internet foravailable resources and information as well. Effective search terms include those associated with"aging or aging unit, seniors or senior services, caregiving, eldercare, family care, etc." Twohelpful resources are Eldercare Locator at www.n4a.org/locator.cfm and Eldercare Web atwww.elderweb.com.In addition, check with healthcare organizations. Alzheimer’s Assoc. 1-800-272-3900) orat www.alzgw.org has caregiver support groups in 24 counties in the Wisconsin, for example.You may also wish to see what information is available at your local hospitals and wellnessclinics in your area. There may be some non-traditional centers for healing that might interestyou and offer some help.Additional Resources:Helping Yourself Help Others: A book for Caregivers by Roselyn CarterNational Family Caregiver's Association www.nfcacares.orgThe American Cancer SocietyChapter 6DIVORCE IN A CLERGY MARRIAGEDivorce is not an expectation when two people in love begin a life commitment together inmarriage. However, despite thoughtful consideration and counsel, a couple may becomeestranged beyond reconciliation and may decide that divorce is inevitable. When a relationshipcomes to a point where it is characterized more by hurt than healing and genuine efforts to renewand revitalize it have failed, it is important to bring that relationship to as redemptive an end aspossible.Clergy spouses may experience an additional dissolution since they may also have felt anadditional covenant or calling to support their spouse’s ministry. Also during this time of crisis,the spouse may feel an additional separation from his or her own faith community due to theseparation or divorce process.The Social Principles of The United Methodist Church, state: “When a married couple isestranged beyond reconciliation, even after thoughtful consideration and counsel, divorce is aregrettable alternative in the midst of brokenness. It is recommended that methods of mediationbe used to minimize the adversarial nature and fault finding that are often part of our currentjudicial processes.”Caring for Clergy Spouses, Children and Youth during Divorce--2004 Book of Resolutions(enter resolution here)Topics of Concern
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