Settling In Palmerston North and Feilding - Human Rights Commission

3.5 FAMILIES AND CHILDRENCommunity Voices‘I was crying during the first week I came here. I was nervous, I don’t know the language.’ Sarah, 8‘Although these women had jobs and good qualifications in their home countries, they can’ work or study here and feel discouraged, bored,disappointed and frustrated.’‘Work – flexitime, glide time is good and gives me that flexibility to mind my children, family and personal matters.’‘There are more playgrounds here than in Indonesia.’ Kiki, 5‘One woman talked about moving to another country with a baby and feeling very lonely. Her husband was okay with work but she knewno-one. When she had a second child they moved to a university setting there were more people in the same situation, all missing theirfamilies and supporting each other. Once kids were at school there were other families from the same country and lots more support –needs differ with age and stage of children.’‘Family support – children should have limitations on going out with friends. Suicide and getting pregnant at very young age or use of drugscan be avoided if family or parent is giving good moral support to their children.’SETTLING IN PALMERSTON NORTH AND FEILDING44From focus groups April/May 2009IntroductionMany newcomers to New Zealand are families (couples with children) or individuals who seek reunification with family members after theirinitial settlement. A range of issues arise for newcomer families and children, including:• differences in the social mores and roles of family members in New Zealand, compared with their homeland, and subsequent tension andinter-generational conflict between family members• a lack of extended family support• loneliness, isolation and invisibility – especially for the spouses of newcomers with jobs or education placements (often women but notalways)• difficulties accessing family support services (eg parenting support) due to language barriers, cultural differences in child-rearing practices,fear of government agencies• understanding and accessing health services in New Zealand• stress associated with dislocation from extended family and reunification efforts• the costs and accessibility of early childhood education and childcare• schooling and education (eg zoning requirements, ESOL support, intercultural awareness).For those migrants in a position to make a choice about where they settle long term, the happiness and well-being of all family members isoften a key determinant. Anecdotally, it is reported that a number of migrants leave New Zealand after a relatively short period of time becausetheir families are not happy or settled. For many newcomer families, it is often most difficult for the spouses in terms of adjusting to a new lifeand home (especially if they are not working) because, unlike their partner and children, they are not fully immersed in their new communityand may take a lot longer to learn English and to build relationships. Particular effort has to be made to connect with the less visible membersof newcomer families and to find ways of supporting them to become a part of their new community. The Newcomers Networks and VolunteerCentres in other parts of New Zealand have been especially helpful in this respect. In Palmerston North, there are particular issues in relation tothe partners and families of international students to take into consideration.Key Issues (feedback from focus groups) 31Isolation, Loneliness and Dislocation from ExtendedFamily• ‘Isolation, lack of extended family closeness – specially with your childrenalways talk to them and help then in any aspect they needed.’• ‘Need more family support.’• ‘Lack of extended family to look after children and/or have company ofpeople of your age, culture results in loneliness.’• ‘One woman talked about moving to another country with a baby andfeeling very lonely. Her husband was okay with work but she knew noone.When she had a second child they moved to a university setting31This feedback comprises direct quotes from focus group participants or notes as interpreted andpresented by facilitators.International Womens Group at Manawatu MulticulturalCentre