YWCA Fresh Start start 3:Layout 1 - YWCA Canada

YWCA CANADA | A TURNING POINT FOR WOMENHow they may actChildren often express their experiences through their behaviour.Your children may test you by acting out.They may do this because they do not have words to express theirfeelings and are reaching out in the only way they know. You can helpthem understand the difference between feeling an emotion, andspeaking or acting from that emotion and between respectful andhurtful words and actions.Let your children know that any form of abuse – verbal, emotional orphysical – is wrong. Help them to learn more effective and respectfulways of getting what they want, rejecting what they do not want andexpressing their feelings.Do not be afraid to set limits in a firm, loving manner. Children aredependent on adults to tell them what is right and wrong. This doesnot stop in a new situation. They may be more insecure and confusedand try to test your control even more than usual. Tell them clearlywhat they can and cannot do. Ask them to help you work out someguidelines that will help all of you to be safe. Develop someconsequences that they will face if they do not follow the guidelines.Stick to the rules you develop with them. Follow through withstrength and love on the consequences that you and they have agreedupon if they violate the guidelines.Getting outside helpYou can support and help your children by working as a team withother people who are trying to help them. This should help you to feelless alone.Children often cannot put into words all the confused feelings andemotions they are experiencing. Sometimes, expressing their feelingsto someone outside of the family helps bring them relief. Oftenprofessional counseling, individually or in groups, greatly helpschildren who have witnessed abuse.In many cities, there are specialized counseling services andprograms for children who have witnessed abuse. Your local YWCA,Community Information Centre, family counseling service or sheltermay be able to help you locate these resources.24