YWCA Fresh Start start 3:Layout 1 - YWCA Canada

YWCA CANADA | A TURNING POINT FOR WOMENDenial is part of a coping mechanism as long as you stay in an abusiverelationship, but it can also stop you from moving on.Try writing down the details of the abuse you are experiencing. Doesthis make it harder for you to deny or minimize what is happening toyou? If there is somewhere safe for you to keep these notes, you canlook at them when your partner is treating you well as a reminderthat the abuse will come again. If there is nowhere safe to keep yournotes, you should destroy them.CopingFinding healthy ways to cope while in an abusive relationship can bechallenging. Try to find ways to get some of what you need, whetherthat is time alone, time with family and friends, time for hobbies orother recreational activities.If you find yourself using alcohol or other drugs as a coping strategy,it is time to take a look at what you are doing. Having a few drinks ortaking medication can offer immediate, short-term relief but it is nota healthy, long-term solution. You may feel more helpless or becomenumbed or desensitized to the abuse, which can make you less likelyto take steps to deal with it. You may begin to neglect your parentingresponsibilities. You might have trouble with your job.If you think you are overusing alcohol or other drugs, that you maybe becoming dependent on them or that they are having a negativeimpact on your daily life, talk to a counselor or your doctor as soon aspossible about the appropriate way for you to get support and help. Ifyou don’t know where to turn first, you can contact your local YWCAor other women’s organization for information and support.PregnancyFor many women, abuse starts during pregnancy. There are a numberof reasons for this. Even if he wanted the pregnancy, your partnermay:• Feel a loss of control over you because the pregnancy is happeninginside your body• Feel threatened by the attention you are paying to your pregnancy• Feel competitive towards the soon-to-arrive baby• Dislike the changes to the your body• Experience stress caused by the pregnancy28