YWCA Fresh Start start 3:Layout 1 - YWCA Canada

FRESH START AccessIt is extremely unusual for the court not to allow access by the father.It generally only does so when there are very serious concerns that hehas already abused them.For this reason, it is a good idea if you make some suggestions to thecourt about what kind of access you think would be appropriaterather than simply stating that you do not want any at all.If you are worried that he might take the children, perhaps even outof the country, and not bring them back or if you think he might notknow how to handle them on his own, you can ask the court forsupervised access. If you are worried he might hurt you when he ispicking up or dropping off the children, you can ask that theexchanges of the children be supervised.Many communities have supervised access centres where children canvisit with their access parent and where parents can exchange theirchildren at the beginning and end of access visits. In some cases, thecourt might order a family member or friend to play this role.The role of violenceIn some provinces and territories, the best interests of the child testexplicitly requires the court to consider whether there has beenviolence within the family. Whether or not this is the case where youlive, it is important that you provide evidence about any violence youhave experienced in your custody application, so the judge can take itinto consideration. Even if you have never called the police or ifcharges have never been laid, you should tell the court about theabuse because the standard of proof is different in family court than itis in criminal court.Many people, including many lawyers and judges, think joint custodyis the ideal solution to allow children to have both of their parentsinvolved in their lives. This may be true where both parents canrespect one another and communicate in an effective way, with thechildren’s best interests as their top priority. However, in situations ofabuse, joint custody almost never works well. Your partner will usethe order, and the children, as a way to try to maintain his controlover you. You should discuss the idea of joint custody very carefullywith your lawyer but also with an advocate or support person beforeyou make any final decision.61